Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Super August 2019

Purchasing the Misc Items

Samantha, on May 17, 2019 at 6:08 AM Posted in Planning 0 14

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Anyone else purchasing items online for the wedding and shipping them home but NOT wanting fiance to see them?

Im taking care of the budget, Wedding is paid in full at this point. But we’re down to double digits and now I’m starting to get the little things for the wedding : reception extra, BP gifts, ceremony items, his grooms gifts. How to deal with fiancé not opening every package and/or complaining every time a package arrives!!

Recently he opened all my packages for lingerie for the boudoir shoot and I was hoping they’d be a surprise (not like he’d remember but it’s the principal). And I’ve asked him not to open my packages. Just to alleviate him asking money questions I’m purchasing them as gifts so the packing receipt isn’t in them.

Just some of the items - - - >
Reception items: cake toppers, decor
Ceremony items: tallit, kiddush cups, breaking glasses, ketubah
Misc: his gift, lingerie, my jewelry, BP gifts, parents gifts

Unrelated note: anyone know where I can buy an afford Tallit?!

Flag
Hide content

14 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on May 17, 2019 at 3:38 PM

Master October 2020
Mandi · on May 17, 2019 at 6:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
In my parents home, we always had a pretty strict "if it doesnt have your name on it, you dont open it" policy with packages.
I would honestly be livid if someone was opening packages with my name only on them.
- Reply
Super September 2019
Selena · on May 17, 2019 at 7:26 AM
Flag

Hide content
Yeah, I would have a discussion about opening the pacakages. My birthday present is sitting on the counter, shipped to FH. (He is out of town) all his mail, including the junk mail, will be sitting there until he returns. I never open his, he never opens mine.
- Reply
Super September 2019
Selena · on May 17, 2019 at 7:27 AM
Flag

Hide content
Can you ship them to work? Or your parents? Bridal party?
- Reply
Super August 2019
Samantha · on May 17, 2019 at 7:31 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
No, I work for a school and my parents and bridal party are across the country from us. I guess I’ll just have to talk to him again about it.
- Reply
VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 17, 2019 at 7:54 AM
Flag

Hide content
Yeah I would talk to him about it. I don't open packages with my FH name. My MOH's husband travels for 8 weeks at a time and even she just brings the packages in and stacks them until he gets home. From the sounds of it, there's no way to get him happy about spending money on the wedding lol. At least it will be over at some point. 🤷‍♀️
- Reply
Super August 2019
Samantha · on May 17, 2019 at 8:03 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Oh I know. I try to avoid talking about it unless I really need his opinion (or approval, lol). I recently tried to re-hash the “no photographer” he stands behind since I found someone who would do 3 hours of the most important moments - first look, formals and family and ceremony for $300, I barely got to say my piece and he was very upset I’d even bring it up. So I’m just going to have to accept no photographer and hope his sister does an okay job - since he won’t even ask his brother GF to at least do formals - she is a professional photographer.
- Reply
VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 17, 2019 at 8:07 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Ugh sometimes they're so difficult! Sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted! All you can hope is that when there is something you feel passionately about he will respect your wishes and concede like you have done.
- Reply
Super October 2019
Kelly · on May 17, 2019 at 10:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
My FH & I have a different type of agreement with wedding payment (we are paying for everything ourselves) he is paying for the venue & I am paying for the vendors & everything else - so I tell him & usually show him what I buy for the wedding lol, vendor payments I put up on the whiteboard so he can see.

But yeah, if my name is on it he doesn’t usually open it & vice versa w/ some exceptions - if we are expecting something from Amazon pantry then either of us will order.
- Reply
Master October 2019
Jolie · on May 17, 2019 at 10:33 AM
Flag

Hide content
My fiance doesn't open my packages and I don't open his, that goes for any mail really. I would just reiterate that some of the stuff coming is surprises or gifts that he shouldn't be opening your mail!
He can't really complain about money issues when all those things are for the wedding though. Isn't he going to help pay for the ceremony items, decor, parents gifts? FH and I discussed this and we would split pretty much everything including decor. Or I guess if I bought all the decor he would pay off a vendor in the equivalent amount ya know.
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 17, 2019 at 10:36 AM
Flag

Hide content
We don’t open each other’s packages, but we also don’t hide anything from each other. Any wedding purchases are discussed beforehand unless it’s < $50 and if she’s not happy with a purchase, we discuss it before it’s made. I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying something for our wedding and keeping it a secret.
- Reply
Super August 2019
Samantha · on May 17, 2019 at 10:43 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
My fiancé cut me a check for his portion of the wedding cost before we started planning after we set a budget. I have the money in a separate account I’m using to pay for everything which also includes the portion I added so the wedding budget isn’t co mingled with our personal accounts or expenses. So the entire wedding is paid already in full - by us, no family help. But he still quips about the cost of the wedding! Lol...
- Reply
Super August 2019
Samantha · on May 17, 2019 at 10:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
He stated up front he doesn’t want to help plan and doesn’t have interest in making decisions, whatever I want. Yet when I get things for the wedding he always has an opinion of it. Even though I’m operating within our budget.
- Reply
Master October 2019
Jolie · on May 17, 2019 at 10:45 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Omg hahah boys are annoying, gotta love em though!
- Reply

Super November 2019
Katie · on May 17, 2019 at 3:38 PM
Flag

Hide content
Are you close with your neighbor and would trust your packages to be delivered to their house?
- Reply