Radio Convo: Do you expect gifts from guests who can't come??

I was raised to always send a gift even if I cannot attend. For our wedding we didn't register for/nor want gifts but still recieved quite a few both from people who attended and who could not attend. There were also several sizeable monetary gifts from folks who were not invited. Those were a bit difficult for me as I felt terrible accepting the money from them. But people really just wanted to wish us well.

Mrs. O described it perfectly.. Whenever I'm invited to any event where gifts are given, I give/send a gift.. whether I'm able to attend or not. I don't know that I will be upset if people don't send me gifts that don't attend our wedding, but I guess I am expecting something.. if that makes sense?!

I have heard this too, which to me is BS. I would never expect a gift from an invitee who can't come. And furthermore I have declined going to weddings cause I personally would never go empty handed and if I can't afford to spend $100 on a gift I will not attend. (I will also not send a gift cause the whole reason Im not going is I an't afford it) that said if it is a bff I will make something heart felt if I can't afford it cause I know for them it's more important for me to be there, but a distant cousin or family friend. F that.

STBMrs Smith, it makes me so sad you would decline a wedding b/c you can't bring a $100 gift. Really? If you were my friend, I'd rather you attend and just give me a nice hug and a card. The gift is so not an entry fee, or the point of inviting you! It's just a gesture. A gesture can be made at any price point IMO.

Not to say how you feel is wrong b/c I'm sure we would all love to be more generous than we can afford to be at times - but I'm sure the people who love you enough to invite you would rather have you there. At least that's how I would feel.

I would not expect it. I'm not inviting anyone outside of immediate family but if I could afford to invite everyone I wanted, I still wouldn't expect it. I think it's presumptuous to expect gifts either way.

2d said it best when it comes to giving. It depends on how well I know the couple.

I only RSVPed "No" to one wedding and I still sent a gift. Not based off of any type of etiquette or beliefs but because it was a close friend of mine but unfortunately the wedding was OOT and I couldn't afford the flight, hotel, etc.

I probably would still send a gift to a wedding I RSVPed no to.

I wouldn't expect a gift from a guest period, especially if they couldn't make it. A thoughtful card would be appreciated though!

I always send a gift if I was invited to a wedding I couldn't attend. I am learning that it is not standard practice by any means though. I always thought it was the right thing to do and a way to wish the couple congratulations.

To me, it depends on my relationship with the couple getting married. If they are very close friends, relatives that I am close with, then I would send them a gift even if they had a 10 person wedding and didn't invite me. If I am invited to an acquaintances wedding (who is having 500 people at her wedding) and can't go, I wouldn't necessarily get her a gift.

I don't expect them at all from my guests. I doubt everyone coming to the wedding will even get us a gift - that is okay too.

@krisalicious. A friend to me is different, I would send a gift, actually a friends wedding I would attend, and usually spend copious amounts of time making something. But Im talking acquantance, cousin, distant family. People I don't really care to go to their wedding but would really only go to see extended family or what not. To those I don't particularily care to go to Im not sending a gift. For instance, got invited to my cousins wedding (I know it is a huge wedding, she got engaged after me and planned her wedding 2 weeks before me, after my STD's werw sent, this is inconveniencing the entire family) I am only invited cause all the family is. Im not going. Im not sending a gift. Bad etiquite? maybe... but so's planning a wedding 2 weeks prior to mine and inviting all the same family IMO

I don't expect gifts from anyone, it would be nice, but we don't really care about stuff, we just have a cash registry for Ben's adjustment of status fee (Its $1010 x.x) other than that anything else is a bonus

That being said I would probably try to send something to someone if I was invited even if I couldn't make it, but I love giving gifts :3

All of this is really interesting. I think I've been invited to a wedding I didn't particularly care about only once.

If I cannot attend, I send a small gift from the registry. If I can attend, I send a larger gift.

Man, I need to make my guest list longer! lol jk.

I don't expect it, honestly broke or not I just want the family to show up, ive never said no to a wedding, but usually its only family ones I am invited to.

Weddings and funerals are the two things I MUST make it to.

But yes Id probably send a card and some money or a gift card.

As for the post on the people who are rich that you're contemplating sending a gift too but you make it sound like they have so much money you're thinking maybe not, it doesn't matter how much money they have its still their special day, its unfair to say you shouldn't put thought into rich people as well.

Just to be fair you have more money than some of your guests, would you like them to say well you have more money than me so i didn't get you a gift?