Rant - family drama!

I know you want your family to be close but honestly there is nothing you can do and you should probably stay out of it. It sounds like your grandmother is stubborn and sometimes older people are. It seems like this is a common occurrence so you need to let them rekindle things in their time and on their own. GM is allowed be annoyed regardless of the situation and it is up to her when she wants to forgive. Sometimes forcing it makes it worse.

There is really nothing you or anyone can do to repair someone else's relationship. Also I don't agree that grandmother is "in the wrong" as she is simply reacting to her perception of a situation. That's life where people everywhere everywhere do things you wouldn't yourself but that doesn't make them wrong and you right because your viewpoints, reactions, etc are different.


Mom and grandma need to figure this out on their own without any outside family intervention, as that will drive grandma further away and cause her to cut everyone off whom she sees as a threat.

Just act as usual, and let them sort it out. It sounds like GM is feeling lonely, and like she is the last thing of importance on her daughter's list of things to fo . Which actually would not bother her at all , if she did not love her daughter. And daughter is responding with practicality, because there are many demands on her time, and gm ( unless an emergency) likely has nothing urgent, and little on her calendar, so she will be around any old time to call back. Otherwise known as taking GM presence for granted. This is not a serious kind of family rift. If it worries you, you try to do a little something for Gm loneliness. Give her a little extra attention. Don't worry about a wedding next year.

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They have their tiffs from time to time but GM this time went so far as to say to M "I've spent the last 51 years being your mother and I am done, you are a demon, a vampire, I missed all the warning signs I should have seen years ago" etc etc so I question how soon this will pass.

Ugh, I am just devastated, it has never been this bad.

View Quoted Comment Even if not specifically Alzheimers or other condition, a general changing of thinking and
the way she spends her time, is slowly having an effect. As our elders spend more time, and see fewer people and do less, they begin to dwell on things, Think the same thing over and over. And often come to spend more time with TV or talk on media
This vampires and demons could be coming from some tv preacher or radio talk person, and not be more than a passing thing. When you are alone a lot, time shifts, too. She may feel like she has spent days waiting for a call back. Yet when questioned, thinking it through, it was after the noon news or lunch when she called 6 day's ago, it seems, not the 4-6 hoursit really was. Some meds older folks are more likely to be on, can feed into depression, or more frequently repeatedly focusing on the same things over and over. not to the degree of an obsession, but leaving the person a little disoriented.With covid, it is tough now to gey someone to do things for an elderly person, help with the house or chores, or going out. But by next summer when more aids are back to work, you might see about it this, or something family can do that she can look forward to, to help break up and structure her time. Feeling less lonely, with less time to focus on little things, her relationships with your mom and all family would improve.

Most people age 50 and up will not be changing, no matter how much constructive criticism they receive. That's really unfortunate. As long as they aren't being openly disrespectful to one another and making a scene at your home, you will just have to let it be. As a previous poster mentioned, your grandma may be lonely.

You can’t do anything about this as it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Hopefully, they will reconcile or at least be civil at your wedding.

Some old people are just stuck in their ways and unfortunately there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it, especially if they've been that way for years.

As someone who has cut relations with her mother - *stay out of the middle*. Seriously, my relationships with those who have tried to intervene are ruined. Why? ....Because they choose sides, and then get super emotional about it, and then get rude.

DO monitor your GM for signs of dementia or other declines associated with age, because that may very well be the problem.

But... don't try to fix the relationship.

I'm sorry.