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Expert October 2019

Rant: unsolicited "advice" and comments

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FutureMrsC, on March 21, 2018 at 6:41 PM

So every so often someone will ask me how my wedding planning is going just to tell me it's all a waste of money and to have a "pot luck in a church basement instead" or whatever other unsolicited advice I've been given. Or even worse is when someone proceeds to tell me why they don't believe in marriage. Why are you telling someone who is getting married why you don't believe in marriage?! It's just negative and kinda rude.

I didn't care at first about these types of comments, after all its really no one's business but ours, but It's starting to drive me crazy! And I still have over a year to go

thankfully most people in my life are very excited and positive so I suppose I shouldn't complain but I had to let it out lol

Is there any unsolicited "advice" you're sick of hearing?

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65 Comments

Dedicated April 2018
Hawa · on March 21, 2018 at 9:21 PM
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Yep definitely this one!!!lol
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Dedicated April 2018
MSK · on March 21, 2018 at 9:28 PM
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Like like is my new fave. The most annoying thing I have heard isn't advice but it's people constantly asking if I'm pregnant. Like. It's a weekly thing.
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VIP May 2018
FutureMrsR · on March 21, 2018 at 9:37 PM
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It won't stop. FH and I have been engaged for a year and three months. People still ask if we're getting married because I'm pregnant.
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Super May 2019
Kaylyn · on March 21, 2018 at 9:48 PM
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Ugh the “advice” I get is always from people I don’t even know and aren’t even invited to my wedding. Some of my favorites have been “So once you’re married you’re going to start having kids right?”, “Why don’t you go to the courthouse so you can get benefits now!” (FW is in the military and no I’m not marrying her for benefits lol) and “You should have a honeyfund so you can go on your honeymoon right away, because taking your honeymoon later on isn’t a real honeymoon.”
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Expert April 2018
mjfortwedding · on March 22, 2018 at 12:24 AM
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I honestly don't understand why people think the only reason someone would be getting married is because they are having a baby...
Not everyone who decides to get married is doing it out of "obligation".
(just to clarify this is not a diss on people who are getting married bc they are pregnant, its also not a diss on people who didn't get married bc they were pregnant as I have friends and family who did both. Just saying that there are other reasons that two people might want to get married to each other...)
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Devoted November 2019
HoneyImGallone · on March 22, 2018 at 12:47 AM
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For some reason people have things to say about the shoes I want/don't want to wear. We only spitball ideas as of right now because we aren't in full on plan mode yet, but I mentioned I don't want to wear heels. People are like, he has like 9 inches on you you have to wear heels... no I don't. I have broken my ankle 4 times... heels aren't always my friend. Or when people say it's your wedding do whatever your want, but say it in a time like they don't really agree with what you want.
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Devoted July 2019
Chelsey · on March 22, 2018 at 1:10 AM
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People hound me whenever they see me about wedding details and I’m like damn, you wanna just skip the wedding since you know everything already?

Food is the most common topic, are you self catering because it’s cheaper, everyone can pitch in. Catering never provides enough food, oh you should have this food, so in so doesn’t like that food (who says their even invited?).
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Expert August 2018
Kelli · on March 22, 2018 at 1:19 AM
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We are CONSTANTLY being told to call off the big wedding and just elope because this is the 2nd marriage for us both. I ended up having to cancel my big wedding to my ex-husband because I got orders to go to Iraq just 8 days before I had to leave and wouldn't be home for the wedding so we threw together a small ceremony in 4 days so I want a real wedding. Plus we've already paid for everything and people apparently don't understand it's all nonrefundable.
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Master October 2017
O · on March 22, 2018 at 1:43 AM
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From my H's family and his mother: do a money dance! It will be fun! You can make so much money! My cousin did it and made thousands!

Yeah, nope, not doing that. Cousin didn't have enough food, tables; and chairs for everyone she purposely over invited to make money.
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Dedicated November 2019
sarah · on March 22, 2018 at 1:45 AM
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My mom is the worst i sent her a pic of a dress i likes, $350 dress, "oh thats way to much to spend for somethinf you'll only wear once, and you probably need to wear a girdle" - WTF you arent paying, yes this is my 2nd marriage, the 1st was a sham, and was fast, I never felt like a bride as I never did all the planning stuff, which leads to... "just go to the courthouse" wtf again did you not just hear me...

now I only send her pics of the most over the top huge ballgowns (no offense to anyone just not my style) that make no sense for my venue and would look like I was wearing a circus tent...
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Devoted October 2018
Anastasia · on March 22, 2018 at 2:50 AM
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Coworker: It didn't work out real well for you the first time why would you bother trying again.

My reply: I wish your parents felt the same way about having kids.

This was by far the worst thing any one has ever said to me and actually made me cry. Thankfully not in front of the person. This will be my second and FH first marriage. My first marriage lasted just over a year before he had another women knocked up. But I realized that my relationship now is so much stronger and better for ever reason that my other one failed.

Oh and...I know so and so that does _____ as a side job they'd give you a really good deal!! Or...just have it at town hall it'll be cheap and easy.
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Devoted December 2019
KPTheCheeto · on March 22, 2018 at 7:59 AM
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Hahaha well I already eloped so i'm doing this backwards so I haven't heard too much from anyone except my mom and my bridesmaids/men.

I've been best friends with all 7 of my bridal party members for at least 8 years now so we're like a family. 2 of them are girls and the rest are guys so I keep getting "Can I officiate your wedding?!?" Or "Can you have a Shrek themed wedding?!?" Or "Okay so what time is Jose's dance to Shakiras 'Hips Dont Lie' scheduled?" Hahaha I love them but none of them can be serious for even one second!!!
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Devoted September 2018
LizzyG · on March 22, 2018 at 2:56 PM
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What I'm sick of is people suggesting that I just buy this or buy that or just hire so-and-so. As though we are just made of money. Ugh.
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on March 22, 2018 at 3:36 PM
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I got a lot of unsolicited advice to not hire a professional photographer and instead to have someone's uncle or cousin do it instead, or to just use all the pictures that guests take... 👎
Also my mom is the least gift-grabby person ever and even she tried to justify adding guests to the guest list with the "it means more gifts" line!
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Master August 2018
Kristina · on March 22, 2018 at 3:39 PM
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Omg I'm dying at your comment!!!!
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on March 22, 2018 at 3:46 PM
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I aim to please 💁🏽😗
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Master August 2018
Kristina · on March 22, 2018 at 3:46 PM
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I haven't had anything too bad, luckily, but my MOH's mom wanted me to get married in a barn that they're going to be building, and I'm like um...thanks, but 1. I want to get married now, not in 5+ years. 2. I never envisioned myself getting married in a barn. Her daughter did it. It was beautiful, but it's not what I want.
She also offered the additional tulle and jute and mason jars and my wedding is in an upscale dining hall so it wouldn't really match a rustic theme....
But I can't complain TOO much because she's super sweet and is doing a lot for the shower too
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Expert July 2018
Melissa · on March 22, 2018 at 4:07 PM
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I had someone tell me that there is no point of me and my FH getting married bc we don't go to church and that marriage is only for those who attend church.
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VIP June 2019
Danielle K · on March 22, 2018 at 5:31 PM
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OMG I am both so happy I have seen someone else experiencing the same thing as me and also sad because I never connected the dots that people are "over our romance"!! this breaks my heart because I still really wish I could have this big celebration but everyone else (including FH sometimes) act as if I am making too big of deal out of a small thing :,(
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VIP September 2018
rica · on March 22, 2018 at 5:34 PM
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Lol at the second one. I’ve never heard that before...of course divorce can only happen after marriage! What a silly thing for someone to say.

The child thing irks me to no end. Actually anything child-related really bugs me and I DO want kids! I can’t imagine how it is for people who don’t!

and just ew at the green card comment. Some people are just too small minded to ever imagine loving someone from a different place than you.
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