Really annoyed. How would you reply? uggg

View Quoted Comment

This woman is insane. she showed up over summer with a box of old pics of her and his ex from college to give him back they have been apart for over 4 years.

View Quoted Comment

That is awful. that was exactly what i thought- how will they process that news the day of? even though they know we are engaged, it may help to have the reality of in sink in to prepare. not to mention it isn't fair to not be able to talk about it and keep it a secret. that is so wrong to me and them. The MIL other day whispered to me " you may need shoes for kids if they have a party or anything this summer" ... wouldn't even say wedding to me.

She also said on phone other day, it is going to be very simple. the kids don't need anything fancy. idk im really disappointed in everyones reactions.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.

My son and DIL were in the exact same situation. They chose not to tell the children until they had come to their home the day before the wedding. Everything went well and there was no stress worrying about what their mother would do. The children knew they were engaged for over a year, so the wedding was not a surprise and they were just as excited with one day's notice as they would have been with more. If you can live with the stress of not knowing what their mother will do and feel confident that you can handle anything that may come, more power to you. Otherwise you need to understand that your fmil is truly just suggesting what she feels would be the least stressful for all. If my grandchildren's mother had known ahead of time she would have been making the kids lives miserable and trying to coach them to create all kinds of havoc. It was best not to put the children in the middle and through that.

View Quoted Comment

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this BS. This should be strictly between you and FH, FMIL can butt out. If FH had any reservations about telling the kids, I'd still find it weird, but his kids his choice.

Does she threaten custody often or just a dragged out divorce? She can holler all day long about what she will try to do, but ultimately a judge will be the decider. I wish y'all a quick resolution and a happy wedding planning (kids included!)

View Quoted Comment

I have photos from my marriage, high school relationships, etc. I have them all put away. It is my life and it is good to have those memories someplace. I don't see anything wrong with having photos given normally. but with her actions leading up to it, that would raise my concerns. Since she is the mother of his children, I would see it as a 50/50 chance of being sincere vs being not sincere. I personally have taken photos of my FH and his ex wife, put them onto a hard drive, and am saving them in a safe place for their daughter.

View Quoted Comment

Touching on this, if the ex wife stops the kids from attending the wedding, she can be reamed by the judge. If there is a custody hearing coming up, I would bring this up to the judge. He can put your wedding date down as a mandatory visit for the kids to be with you guys. Do the day before and the day of to ensure that the kids do not miss it.

View Quoted Comment

She dragged out the divorce like crazy- even though she wanted it. Then as soon as it was final she took him back to try to cut down parenting time. she's horrible

View Quoted Comment

That is an awesome idea thank you for that. I think that should remedy any concerns. thanks

View Quoted Comment

Yea it was not in a normal manner. She read through all his old love letters from a college gf with their 11 year old daughter. And the box was filled with old gfs. I believe she tried to get to me by sending it, it was pretty obvious.. ugh

View Quoted Comment How would it mess up a court trial though? I work as a courtroom clerk and I can't even imagine my judge allowing a wedding to change things. I agree that they're being paranoid. Let them know and get it situated ahead of time. If anything definitely bring it up at the court trial and I'm pretty sure the judge won't change anything especially if it's your fiancé's weekend.