Reasons for bailing last minute

Maybe being a student she doesn't have the funds to bring a gift. Law school seems intense, not that I'd know but I can assume. I know midterms just passed but again not knowing her school schedule I'd assume she probably has a lot of end of year things going on.

Just playing devils advocate, she may just be a flaky person but I could see her reasons no matter how easy it is to attend Ms wedding.

Maybe her school does quarters and not semesters? That may change the finals schedule. I'd still be ticked that she did it this close to the wedding, though. Like if you're not sure, just say no.

Cut her some slack, what is important or tiring to one person, may not be to someone else. Should she just have made up her mind what the RSVP was due? YES. But she is probably conflicted and really wants to go, but is feeling overwhelmed. Whether or not you understand her circumstances, she is still a friend, important enough to invite to your wedding.

As someone who just graduated from law school, I think that's a very legitimate reason. Studying in law school is intense. Most people start outlining for finals starting in November. There were many times throughout law school where things got so stressful that I had to back out of other plans. It sucked, but most of my friends were very understanding. I would cut K some slack.

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Yeah I was just thinking this would be the exact timing of a trimester for finals. Or as someone else mentioned, $$$ could be an issue. Of all the reasons to bail, this one doesn't bother me.

View Quoted Comment I get that but M actively requested no gifts, and asked for donations to charity from those who could afford it.

And i get if shes too busy but then just say that to begin with. The wedding is literally just lunch in a restaurant, it won’t be more than a couple hours...

i agree its not bad reasoning, i just think the way she went about it was obnoxious

I'm in law school (last semester)...... I'm on a semester schedule and midterms are generally over by this time. It seems early to be starting finals studying because it's not even November. HOWEVER, everyone is different. It is intense... maybe she hasn't been outlining all semester and she's overwhelmed? Maybe she just didn't want to go or didn't have the money?

View Quoted Comment That’s probably the real reasoning but regardless she would’ve known more than 3 days in advance. Like if she said no to begin with, whether it was for studying, money, not wanting to go, etc. that’d be fine... theoretically studying would be a valid excuse but you know you have to study more than 3 days in advance

Maybe she really wanted to go and was hoping she'd be able to get ahead in studying, but the studying took longer than she'd thought and she got too overwhelmed. I understand her not declining farther in advance can be frustrating, but it's very possible that she had good intentions and was hoping that she'd be able to make it.

I'm on your side. She's less than a week out and can't go? That's not okay. Two years ago, I was finishing my bachelors & working part time while my fiance was finishing his accounting masters, working part time, and studying for his CPA exams. We had SUCH limited funds, but knew about the wedding in advance so we put away money each & every month until we had enough to FLY to California. We opted for a small gift on the registry, $20, and a nice card. We both studied late every night or woke up early, as well as studied on the plane & in the hotel room.

If she had told your friend PRIOR or even on the RSVP date, I'd be on her side. But she waited until your friend can no longer (I assume) adjust her bar, catering, or dessert count so she will be paying for her even though she can't go.

My brother in law is in medical school, & would probably be missing my wedding next October, but he's the best man, so he can't miss it. His sister is getting married the week after I am & he already he's not going to her wedding. If law school is anything like med school it's intense. His midterms were 2 weeks long.

View Quoted Comment Yes but you’re aware of midterms more than 3 days in advance

View Quoted Comment Lol, thank you, didn’t think people would jump down my throat on this one 😂

M specifically asked for no gifts and it’s a 1 hour train ride away for K. Like I said I’d 100% understand if she couldn’t come to the wedding but come on, you know about your exams more than 3 days in advance.

I don't care much for the whys. Whatever the reason someone isn't attending it must feel it is valid. I just want to know with a decent amount of time. Preferably by the RSVP date. I cant plan accordingly for a Maybe.

That is true, maybe it's something she's really struggling with. Don't be too hard on her. If it were me, I would still go to the wedding, because weddings don't last all day, but that's just me.

They must feel* oops

View Quoted Comment Exactly! There’s nothing wrong with the decline or the reasoning, it’s just that that reasoning makes no sense for being a “last minute” excuse because exams aren’t scheduled last minute lol.

Like I said it’s not my wedding, this situation doesn’t even affect me at all, I just thought it was obnoxious

View Quoted Comment I agree. I'd find it annoying too.

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That's pretty inevitable with these forums haha! Yeah, especially asking for no gifts. Again, I'd be fine with it if it wasn't 3 days out.

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That's what I was saying lol, like it's not a bad excuse, it's just a bad last minute excuse