Reasons for bailing last minute

Ok the main issue here is that your friend accepted a response of “probably”. Don’t accept that same response from her when your wedding RSVP time comes! If someone said that to me I would’ve told them they should “probably” bring a sandwich because my caterer only accepts a yes or no.
I would also be kinda mad at this situation. I totally get needing to study, law school is extremely challenging. But you shouldn’t have accepted an invite to a wedding a week in advance and then 3 days prior say that you can’t come. That’s BS to me. Especially because she had known about for months beforehand, presumably. Sorry to everyone with a differing opinion!

View Quoted Comment Exactly my point hahaha, there’s nothing wrong with the excuse, just the timing of it is ridiculous. I’m glad you understand my perspective. I’d totally be marking anyone down as a no if they gave me a “probably.”

My sister did not go to both of our cousins weddings because she had finals or a certification exam. K knew her schedule and knew what exams were coming up and what she would need to do to prepare. Its pretty crappy that she flaked last minute on your friend M.

View Quoted Comment Right? It really seems like she just doesn’t want to go for some reason and is just using “studying” as an excuse

The "probably" would bother me a lot. I feel like no one can make/honor commitments anymore. It's important to be able to decide yes I can do something or no I cannot and stick to it. I feel like in this situation K should have either decided to study hard beforehand and commit to going because she was excited to attend the wedding OR decide she's too overwhelmed with school, there's no chance she can take a day off from studying so instead of stringing M along, K should just decline. M had a date she needed the decision by and K should have respected that especially with the event being a wedding because M probably wasted money on paying for K. I'd have a serious talk with her before your wedding so you don't waste money as well.

I get that it sucks when people bail at the last minute unless there’s not an actual emergency, but why did your friend allow “probably” to equal yes?

I will stick up for her only because I went to law school so I know how it is. Not all classes are a semester long, some end sooner than others. Law school is nothing like undergrad. Some jobs, depending what her future career goals are, are fully dependent on your grades. So while she's slacking off and wasting time going to a wedding, those actions have really bad consequences in the future. I know that her exams didn't just pop up out of nowhere, buttttttt I do see where she's coming from. And sorry, I'm not putting someone's wedding first before my career goals. Especially with all the debt I got myself into for the career path I wanted. The sad reality is a lot of clerkships, internships, summer jobs, and externships are based on grades and ranks. Not everyone can get A's because it's on a scale... someone gets an A+ and someone gets a C- I know that sounds horrible, but that's how law school works. So I know to you her excuse is lame, but it is valid(ish) lol

I think I'd give K the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I'm a soft touch, but to me it sounds like she did really want to go, but perhaps she's now realized she's just got too much on her plate.

I'm not in law school, but I am in grad school, and I'm studying for a dual-master's degree (I'm studying public health AND social work at the same time). I have work on top of that. Sometimes I do have to let people down last minute, not weddings or anything like that, but arrangements say to meet a friend for dinner. I hate doing it, but there are times when suddenly I have assignments due in every class, and I just can't do everything. K may be in a similar boat, and with it being law school in her case, I can only imagine the workload she has!

I was on a quarterly schedule during my public health program, and it was insane. You're 6 weeks in, finally getting steady projects, and it's finals time. I can certainly understand someone in their first year having no idea this is coming. I remember constantly saying "probably" a lot during that year to everyone I knew.

However, a wedding is completely different. A "probably" means no.

So I just had to find this thread even though I made it 5 months ago because I HAD to follow up on what has happened with this now that it’s almost my wedding time...... so we invited K to our wedding and my MOH invited her to the shower. Apparently she FLAT OUT GHOSTED the shower invitation, AND my MOH’s FOUR attempts to contact her 😂 the best part is, K has texted me casually talking about unrelated things, since then......

SO STRANGE I have no idea what’s wrong with this girl! 🙄😂

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I agree that no one seems to understand how to make plans. It is SO frustrating when no one can say yes or no. Or when you tell people about a day a year and a half in advance and you still get people saying "Well I have vacation right around then, so I'm not sure I'll be there."

That's why I told you a year ago, Uncle Lowry.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha. I'm just so taken aback by her total lack of response to my shower? Odds are she won't respond to my wedding either. But she literally texted me last week something about the Jonas Brothers getting back together...? This was apparently the same week that she flat out ignored 4 messages from my MOH asking if she was coming to the shower.

Just... so bizarre...

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It really doesn't make any sense. I think some people just think that other's won't put two and two together when it comes to not responding. This girl just seems bent on being very flaky.

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I feel like yes, not RSVPing is flaky. But gosting 4 messages is just plain rude...