Recently engaged, where to start!

Congratulations! You will want to start by creating a budget then your guest list. Both of these will help you when it comes to finding your venue. A lot of venues provide in-house catering and therefore charge per person so you will need to know roughly how many people you plan on inviting to make sure that the venue you select will fit within your budget. You will also want to make sure that the venue can accommodate the number of people you plan on inviting. I've seen numerous posts on here where the couple realized the venue was too small after the fact so they had to pray enough people wouldn't attend which definitely isn't ideal.

I would recommend getting a wedding planning book or using the checklist on here or The Knot (another wedding planning site similar to this). My mom bought me the The Knot wedding planner which I loved having because I could take it with me to meetings with venues and other vendors. It was also great to have all of the information in one place rather than papers and things in several different places. I have linked The Knot planner below.

I would also check out Jamie Wolfer's YouTube channel. She is a wedding planner who makes weekly videos providing advice to couples getting married. Just this week she released a where to start video for couples that just got engaged. It included a ton of useful information. She also had a free timeline that you can download. As well a 6 or 12 month program that you can buy if you choose that she created to walk you through the wedding planning process like she would if you were one of her clients. I have also linked her channel below.

If you are looking for ideas, I would recommend Pinterest. I created a Pinterest board for all things wedding related. I also broke it down into sections so I had a section for wedding dresses, bridesmaids, flowers, hair and makeup, etc. It not only helped me when it came to deciding what I liked, but it also helped my vendors see what I liked because some of them asked me to send them my link so they could really get a feel of what I wanted for my wedding day.

I would also either create a separate email or folder within your existing email for all things wedding related. That way you can stay organized. I also created a folder on my desktop for all things wedding where I saved all of my contracts and any other forms I received such as the form my DJ sent us to fill about about what songs we wanted for special moments like the first dance.

The Knot Planner: https://www.walmart.com/ip/The-Knot-Ultimate-Wedding-Planner-Organizer-binder-Edition-Hardcover-9780770433369/20664188?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&&adid=22222222227000000000&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=42423897272&wl4=aud-1025747331336:pla-51320962143&wl5=9007869&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=online&wl12=20664188&veh=sem&gclid=CjwKCAiAouD_BRBIEiwALhJH6DAKWwfTZrNPX1AXkXDhuvLVWBJTgUPVs9L4VtOfGt2D3hDCVYDyHhoCz3AQAvD_BwE

Jamie Wolfer (wedding planner) YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdAcY6YGgF-RgGYXTsOENbA

Congrats & welcome to WW!!! Super exciting! It’s fun but also very overwhelming. Sit down with your fiancé & discuss budget/ guest list- that’s an absolute must starting point. I love the forums on WW but have seen way too many brides have issues for their website’s that they paid for. We use The Knot as our website- the planning checklist is fantastic! Keeps me on track!

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Hi Michelle,

Thank you, yes it is exciting but yet seems very overwhelming, I am also trying to figure out this website as well hah We have discussed budget briefly but we are both lost on that topic as well as we will both be paying for the wedding yet also looking to purchase a home as well so we are running into many different discussions and topics of what ifs and when and how. We did sit down and do our guest list as our amount of guests are on the smaller side which we are also running into issues because many places in NJ want a minimum of say 150-175, its becoming more difficult when your guest count is on a smaller side of less than 95 people including children. It does not really interest me to have a website, if it is something that easy to figure out on The Knot I would then be open to that. I love staying organized so a planning checklist is great for me!

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Good Morning,

Thank you for all of this information, we briefly spoke about budget but have no idea as this will be on both of us we kind of dont know where to start with a budget due to trying to purchase a home as well within this year. I have a background in bridal but this all seems very overwhelming. We do not have to worry about booking a venue with not having enough space as our guest count is on the smaller side, we are running into issues where we are going to tour a venue and they are then saying they have a guest minimum of 150-175 but they can do a smaller guest count on a Thursday or Sunday in which we do not want being we have alot of people coming out of town. We did purchase a wedding planner as well so we have something to write in. Yes Pinterest is a great place for ideas there are just so many ideas! I think its a good idea to create a board then to break it down into sections. I will have to watch the Youtube video a little later when he is home from work.

Thank you for all the information.

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Glad I could help! I know our venue just required us to meet a certain food and beverage minimum which was $7,000. However like you said some venues have guest list minimums as well.

Jamie Wolfer mentions in her most recent video that she has another video about creating the perfect budget so that video would be super helpful. Honestly, she has so many videos that she pretty much covers any issue you might have. You just have to look through her channel to locate whatever video you want. But I would definitely start with her most recent one which is where to start once you're engaged.

View Quoted Comment Yes I am actually watching her right now! Thank you.

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You're welcome! I did just read your comment about not wanting to create a wedding website, but I highly recommend having one because it will help your guests because you will have all of your information in one place for them to look at.

Also not sure where in NJ you are located, but my husband is from NJ and his friends had their reception at the Mountain View Chalet in Asbury, NJ. I'm not sure if there was a minimum guest count, but it was beautiful and from what I recall the room wasn't overly huge. In fact, they didn't have a photo booth because there wasn't enough room with all of the tables and buffet. They do have a space for a ceremony as well. We choose not to get married in NJ because it tends to be more expensive and my family lives in PA so we picked a place in the middle. So depending on where in NJ you might want to consider looking at venues in PA.

View Quoted Comment I will have To look into the website on the knot when I have a chance! We currently reside in browns mills, NJ until 10/9 as we wanted to meet in the middle of where I was located and work in Hamilton and he was in Manahwakin NJ, asbury is by the beach so not far from us and I am looking to be by water so I will have to take a look into that venue! Thank you

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Not sure if you are thinking of the right place, but Asbury is actually not near the beach at all. It is about 1.5 hours from Manahawkin, NJ and in a more rural area.

View Quoted Comment Yes. I am thinking of the correct place. Asbury NJ is a town as well as a beach, in which I’ve been to many times growing up. Maybe there are two Asbury in NJ

View Quoted Comment Maybe. I just know the venue I recommend isn't near the beach. But I wish you luck with planning 🙂

Congratulations on your engagement!

I would start by setting a comfortable budget and thinking about your guest list. These will be very important when moving forward and booking vendors. The first vendor to book will be your venue. Without a venue, you don't have an actual wedding date. Research several and schedule tours. Once you select your venue and wedding date, you can move on to things like photographer/videographer, caterer, etc.

They recommend ordering your dress at least 10 months out to allow time for it to arrive and get altered.

Happy planning!

You need to set on a budget with your future spouse.

Congratulations on your engagement! I would say start with your budget than figure out your guest count and venue

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Hi Meghan,

The guest list has been started, the budget we are stuck on. The venue we have been told to book first, we have contacted many venues and set up many tours we are just having issues with our guest count as every venue requires a minimum, its unfortune. OMG 10 MONTHS BEFORE?!!! Jesus!

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Thank you Yasmine!

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Thank you,

Before you even think about making a budget, sit down with your fiance and decide what parts are most important to you. Most couples focus on the guest experience (good food, beverages the guests don't pay for themselves, good dj) and photos to capture the memories. Skip the rest: favors, welcome bags, champagne no one drinks, pleasing other people who are not getting married, inviting people out of obligation, etc


Be aware that the word "wedding" will make the price of everything skyrocket. Most things you can get higher quality without the word "wedding" and vendors will not bat an eye. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Browse vendor price lists for your area via their websites on Yelp or Instagram to get a ballpark idea of how much they charge to get a budget underway.
Be aware that once you get monetary gifts from parents to cover the vendor tabs, you lose your decision making. Plan the wedding that fits your vision that you pay for on your own.
Make a ballpark list of your must have guests. These are people you and fiance cannot imagine the day without. This does not include parents' coworkers, distant acquaintances, etc. Significant others of your guests are a social unit invited automatically, regardless if they have been together 4 months or 10 years.True plus ones..random strangers who are only there for free food and don't care about you..do not make the list. Most singles can and do enjoy themselves and know others in attendance.
With all of that, then you can start searching for venues. None of your other vendors will book you without having a venue in place. Take a look at eventective.com for venues. Blank slates will be cheapest and nearly all provide tables, chairs and a kitchen. They do not have unattainable food/beverage minimums which all-inclusive venues do. All inclusive venues also are not willing to budge on eliminating various things you don't want (champagne for example or something else that is only appealing to the Pinterest crowd that people dont like or see in real life ) because that is where they make their money.

Congratulations !

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much