Reception faux pas - yes or no?

I've heard of people doing this in between the ceremony and reception, just to give the bride and groom a small break, but I've never heard of someone doing this DURING the reception. This does seem very rude to me. I would probably still go to the wedding, but I probably wouldn't spend as much on a gift. Just my personal opinion...

This is rude and just weird. We had a sweetheart table for the reasons they mentioned, but it was in the room with everyone else, and people for the most part let us sit and eat when we were eating. Then we visited with them at tables and such.

Hmmm this is sort of tricky. They should just have a sweetheart table— they’ll get to eat together but not be rude and isolated from their guests. Although I probably wouldn’t care if the bride and groom disappeared during dinner—I’d honestly probably figure they’re taking pictures or something.


It was really important to my now-husband that we have a moment to ourselves as well. As our guests were being lead to cocktail hour, the event coordinator brought us back to the “holding house” where we had waited with our bridal party and we spent probably 7-10 minutes talking about the ceremony and how our mornings apart had gone. Then along the way walking to the cocktail hour, we stopped at the pool bar (we got married at a resort) and took a shot of jagermeister. So with both of those, we were “missing” from our cocktail hour-and-a-half about 15 minutes? When we arrived people were still getting food and drinks from our station and bar. Everyone clapped upon our arrival and there were no comments or snide looks (and we certainly have friends or family who would not be shy about telling us their feelings!) about our absence.

View Quoted Comment I think that’s all ok—— but literally having dinner at the same time as your guests in an entirely different room I think would be rude yes?

In this case, a sweetheart table seems like the most logical thing to do. Having some time alone between the ceremony and reception during cocktail hour is common, but leaving to eat dinner in a room alone during the reception itself is not appropriate in my opinion.

No, I don’t think it’s rude since couples rarely get to eat in peace because they’re constantly interrupted by guests who want to chat or take a picture, etc. So I think it’s perfectly fine for a couple to take a mere 20 minutes to spend alone together during their wedding to decompress. I actually don’t think it’s much different than couples not being around for an hour (or more) during cocktail hour when they’re taking pictures. Or when a couple steals away for a few minutes with the photographer to take sunset photos. Honestly, while everyone’s eating and mingling at their tables, they probably won’t even notice (or care) that the couple is gone for a few minutes.


Also, I actually don’t see why people would leave at that point since there are a number of activities that happen after dinner. So I was a little confused by what was written in the picture you posted

.... additionally, the couple is the first to get served. So since dinner service takes a while, the couple would probably be back in the room by the time everyone else is just beginning to eat.

View Quoted Comment Sexy poodle this couple wants to have dinner on their own separate from guests entirely..

That is extremely rude but there will always be someone who sees nothing wrong with it. Why invite guests if you're going treat them as not even human or worthy of your time?

Personally I think it’s rude and I just don’t get why people want to do this. Yes, it sometimes is nice to have a minute with your new spouse, but you’re also hosting a party. Do they leave parties they’re hosting in their home for 20 minutes? Probably not.

This is my opinion it's not only rude but weird

View Quoted Comment Correct… That’s how I read it. They want to spend 20 minutes to eat and come back.

View Quoted Comment Yes. If you wouldn't do something at a party in your home, it's not ok at a wedding venue.

View Quoted Comment This seems a bit extreme. I don’t understand how eating dinner separately is not treating guests human.


Like SexyPoodle said, I’m struggling to separate this from couples who take the whole cocktail hour away from their guests to take pictures. That’s leaving them alone to eat and drink too. It’s 20 minutes of presumably a 5+ hour event. That doesn’t compare to hosting people in your home.

@Tone— I’m rude? I’m sorry but if I’m hosting a thank you dinner for my closest family and friends for celebrating MY marriage —- shouldn’t I be present at said dinner?

Geez, You got the rest of your life to eat dinner together alone. How often will you be able to eat and spend time with all the people who just joined you for your wedding. Not for me!

View Quoted Comment Kylie, Cocktail hour is specifically made for that. No? So not only are they missing cocktail hour but they are skipping out on dinner with their guests, arriving to dance and cut cake and collect gifts/money then leave. ? I’m sorry I’m trying to understand different perspectives here but this is what I’m understanding is ok these days from your point of view?

View Quoted Comment Its their wedding they can do what makes them happy if you don’t like it no one is forcing you to go

View Quoted Comment Liz- that’s what I was thinking.. there will be plenty of time to capture alone no?

View Quoted Comment @Tone - you’re right about that. What’s the point of going to a dinner when then people we are honoring can’t even grace us with their presence during the most important part of the evening?! Thanks for your input !