Reception faux pas - yes or no?

A lot of people do this in between the ceremony and reception so that they can actually get a chance to eat uninterrupted.


Dipping out when everyone is eating dinner would be rude but I understand the desire to spend the first married moments together alone.

I don't personally think it's rude if it's just for 20 minutes. i actually think it's kind of sweet .. to want to have your first meal as mr and mrs together in private to have that alone time just for a moment. i remember when i got married i barely really ate anything and didn't even really have any private moment with my husband that entire day.

it would be weird if it was the entire duration though.

View Quoted Comment The problem comes when those who take a full hour or more of pictures ( not the 15-30 max that used to be acceptable) between ceremony and reception, and often 15 min to straighten clothes and use the bathroom, then go off for 20 minutes or so to eat. If you get most pics done before guests arrive, and only take a few bride and groom pics, and a bathroom break, so you are apart from your guests a max half hour, and with them for the rest of cocktails and seating time, people don't rush you when you first sit down. Having visited with some, you have plenty of time before dancing or table visits. ... Symbolically, I think it is important for the couples to eat when others do. Or don't bother having a reception with a meal.
But having seen many weddings, I have never seen couples in a rush if they got most pics done early, and spent all but 15 min with their guests. It always those who already abandoned the guests for 1 or 1.5 hours already, who get rushed. Be courteous to guests by staying with them most of cocktails, and slowly enjoying a meal with them is fine. No need for a separate meal, ever.

It's rude and bad hosting. You wouldn't invite people to Thanksgiving dinner and insist on eating alone instead of with your guests, this is no different. The responsibility of being a good host doesn't change just because it's a wedding even though some people seem to think that entitles them to be totally selfish.

I get that they want to have some time together, if they went off for 20 minutes to take photos no one would think otherwise. Perhaps the wording makes it come off harsher than it was meant to be?

View Quoted Comment I have to disagree with this a bit… The MOST important part of the evening is the actual marriage ceremony (sometimes with all of the wedding planning hoopla, that sadly gets forgotten). Without the ceremony, we’re simply inviting guests to just another party. But, as for the reception itself, what’s considered most “important“ will differ from couple to couple. For us, the dinner is not the most important part because we’re simply going to be sitting and eating at our table. However, the actual mingling and interacting is what we find most important. That’s why we’re completing 90% of our photos ahead of time and plan to participate in the majority of our cocktail hour with our guests. But that’s the joy of wedding planning, because the couple gets to create their day and focus on what’s important to them.

You kidding me right? If your guests is not worthy of you being around DURING the reception then don't invite them and above all don't EXPECT a gift. Just elope end of conversation.

This is rude and weird. If I was a guest at this wedding, if they weren’t back by the time I finished my meal, I’d likely leave.

So I really hate when people post something and pretend they’re looking for opinions when really they just want others to agree with them.


That aside, again no, I’m just not seeing this as outrageous. There are various points during a wedding when a couple may be not physically present, and 20 minutes while everyone else is busy eating at their own tables doesn’t seem like an egregious time to not be there. Like I said, I probably wouldn’t even notice...because I’m focused on my own food and drinks and company at my table!
The idea that someone would leave a 5+ hour event or give a less generous gift (!!) because the couple of honor, who isn’t present for 20 minutes while everyone else is busy, is the rude and weird action to me.

Exactly, you get it

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I agree, this is weird. "Hi! Come to dinner but my hubby and I are eating in a different room!"

View Quoted Comment Totally agree!

@kylie— I did ask for perspective, we are all reading the same post and giving our option on a forum. Why are you here then? Sorry youre on the wrong side of the popular opinion? Like what?

View Quoted Comment Yassss @florida I’m just like what’s the point to even?

View Quoted Comment This is such a funny gif 😂 I needed that laugh!!

I’ve seen this done on one of those wedding shows and a lot of the guest left before the food was served leaving the bride and groom paying catering cost for people who didn’t even eat. I personally wouldn’t do it but to each it’s own.

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Yeah I am pretty chill (don't mind cash bars, don't mind not great seating, etc) but to sit in a different ROOM? Yeah, hard pass.

Okay so I think this is a little strange, and I would not do this myself, but I also don't think it's worth getting that upset over, and I definitely wouldn't *leave* a reception because of it. I probably wouldn't even know what was going on - I'd be focused on getting (if a buffet) and eating my own meal and talking with the people at my table. At most I might look up and wonder where the B+G went. But I don't think I'd be outright offended, if it's just for 20 minutes...?

The last big/normal wedding I was at, the groom disappeared for a while midway through the reception, even the bride didn't know where he was! I think he was hanging out with some of his friends who came.

It's definitely odd but it's not as much of a faux pas (to me) as some people seem to think. As a guest I don't really keep tabs on the couple the whole time, unless it's a really small wedding.

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Yes funny but sad, I mean come on with that. As mean as i can be I would never go THAT far. After all just like others said you can use that time between the ceremony and reception. You also have that night to be alone. I am getting married on May 15 2021. I have a few guests i can't stand (a few inlaws lol) but we are having a sweetheart table in the SAME room and I will give them a meet and greet and small small talk for a short period and keep it moving.

View Quoted Comment Hahahaha. Exactly.