Reception faux pas - yes or no?

View Quoted Comment @michelle—not me, my friend. Thank you for the feed back though. I’ve been sharing all of these opinions with her as well as my own since we are both getting married this year.

Strange. What they could do which is traditional with Jewish weddings, is to give the bride and groom 10-15 minutes after the ceremony in a room, with hors d 'Oeuvres or a snack and a class of bubbles. But they would not eat dinner separately... weird lol

I actually was at a wedding 2 years ago where the bride and groom left the reception room to eat dinner, however it was because the bride had some health reasons and didn't want to eat around a bunch of people do to feeling uncomfortable. I don't know the specifics on her health issue. But for me I didn't think it was rude manly because of 2 reasons first she has a health problem and second because during dinner I didn't even realize they left, I was to busy getting my plate of food and talking with guests at my table. But even still the bride and groom returned before everyone was done eating dinner and nobody left the wedding that early before they returned.

I’m very surprised to see such strong opinions on this, this is the part of weddings that I hate. Who really cares as long as the couple is happy and not doing anything to blatantly hurt anyone personally? there are so many expectations around weddings that complicate what is supposed to just be a joyous day filled with love.


I will probably do the same thing! My fiancé and I are both introverted and while we are so so excited for the big party, we know we will need a moment alone. We also have a history of not eating at all when busy or excited so I know we will need to be intentional about making sure we have a moment to get some food. We will ask our caterer to have food ready in the bridal room and as soon as we’re done we will go mingle. We will then probably set up a sweetheart table still to go sit at for toasts easy peasy!

View Quoted Comment I was thinking the same thing. You guys get served food first, then the guests. By the time all the guests have their food and ate you guys should be back already. Plus just because it's your wedding doesn't mean people are going to constantly be talking to just you two only. People love to mingle. Like I said at the one wedding I went to that the bride and groom did this nobody even really realized they went to eat dinner in a separate location. People will be eating and mingling with other guests at their table. I think it's a cute idea. I wouldn't find it to be rude at all.

View Quoted Comment

I feel the same way! Where I'm from, it's common for the couple to eat alone together for a few minutes while their guests are getting their food and eating as well. As a guest, not once have I gotten upset, or wondered where the couple was...because I was busy chatting with my table and eating my own food lol.

We also plan on doing this, and having our food set in the bridal suite as well! We plan on having our coordinator notify us when 20min has been up, so we can then rejoin our guests and greet them table by table. After that, we plan on sitting at the main table with our bridal party for toasts etc.

Just kinda blows my mind when I read the opposite view points. Again, everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I'm shocked it's really that big of an issue lol.

Sounds rude AND tacky to me. I understand the need to have some time alone on your wedding day. In fact, our officiant has designated about 20 minutes for us to have time to ourselves between the end of the ceremony and pictures. I admit I've left a few parties without saying goodbye to the host(s), but a wedding is more personal. You shouldn't just ghost the guests of honor. I don't think too many people would sneak out during dinner (although my uncle and cousin did that at my sister's wedding 16 years ago), but this just doesn't seem like something that would fly with anyone. I also think the bride and groom would come to regret it down the road.

Late to the party, but it's up for recent comments, so I'd like to put my two cents in.

My FH and I are currently planning on something similar to this. We don't want to have people coming up and constantly interrupting while trying to eat, and neither of us is particularly fond of the idea of having others watch us eat. Our caterers prepare plates for us, so while cocktail hour is happening and guests are enjoying a street-taco station and free booze we plan to step away and eat dinner quickly before emerging for a grand entrance. We won't have a wedding party to be rude to by excluding them or making them wait longer for food. Once we enter the main reception we'll be able to talk to our guests throughout dinner by touching tables and saying hello to others as they eat or wait in line at the buffet.

It's really in how you do it, I would say eating dinner separately at the same time as all of your guests is a little odd, but it's not the end of the world.

I've worked way too many weddings where the bride and groom can't enjoy their meal because well wishers want to come and talk and take photos, by the time the bride and groom get a minute to breathe their food is cold. That's why we're planning to go the way we were, but I really don't see anything inherently rude so long as you're paying attention to your guests while you can.

I definitely would not do that. Seems rude to all the people who came to celebrate with you, for you to leave them. IMO

I don't think it's rude.

I didn't even eat at my wedding - at all, not a single bite - because as soon as we sat down with our food, our guests each started coming up to talk to us. Some because they were leaving, others because they were waiting for their turn at the buffet. So we had to stand up, hug, chat, blahblahblah. Sit back down to eat, next guest is up. Stand, hug, chat, sit. Next guest is up... you would think at some point there would be a break because everyone would be seated eating, but no, as soon as one round was done talking to us, the next round had finished eating so they came to chat. We ended up pay $$$$ for delicious food that we didn't get to eat, and ordered cheap take out at the hotel. What a shame to pay all that money for food and not get one bite of it.

I was a videographer for four years, and I saw this all the time. In fact, I saw it at more weddings than not, to the point that I wished DJs would come over the speakers and say, "hey, guys, don't forget your bride and groom are just as hungry as you are, so stay in your seats and let them eat in peace, there will be plenty of time after dinner for chatting."

I've even seen wedding articles say "ask your caterer to box up your dinner to-go, because you probably won't eat with all your guests talking to you!"

I think I actually did see a couple do this at a wedding - they disappeared during the first part of dinner for a decent amount of time and I was never told why. No one even noticed. Because when they didn't see that they could go gab their heads off at the couple, they just occupied themselves. It wasn't a big deal.

I don't know why you would care that the couple wasn't there for 15-20 minutes of dinner. You most likely have a four-hour reception to interact with them. You should be occupied with your own dinner and not concern yourself with what the couple is or isn't doing during that time.

View Quoted Comment 👏👏👏👏Thank you I absolutely agree. I watched people constantly talking to my cousin and her husband at her wedding. I actually got up at one point during dinner at told the group of people who were waiting to talk to them to sit down and let them eat. I wasn't rude about it, I just kindly let them know that they shouldn't be interrupting them while they are trying to eat.


I don't think it's rude for the bride and groom to sneak off to eat in piece. I do however find it rude of guests to constantly bug them throughout dinner. Maybe if guests would give them time to eat in piece maybe the bride and groom wouldn't need to sneak off.