Reception Music - Cultural

I think that sounds great. Personally, I'm taking a risk by having a Polish dance band play to a mostly American audience... but I've been to Polish weddings and they were so much fun. FH was born there and we wanted to capture some of the traditional feel. Maybe our guests will hate it. But I'm thinking it'll be fun and different to hear some European Dance music as well as American pop covers.

I think that sounds good! That's basically 2 per hour so that sounds reasonable

Thanks for the input. I think I'm just feeling a little anxious that my family/side will be really taken back by the music. I'm sure it doesn't matter much, and they're not going to be there for a lesson in what music they should listen to - so they can either dance to it, or skip it.

I just feel like so many parts of the wedding at walking a tightrope of balancing his family's expectations and my family's expectations. I should probably just think more about what FH and I want and let that be the final decision vs trying to please everyone as I know that will be a losing battle every time - you just can't.

How many songs in your Hora medley? What other 2 Jewish songs was he thinking of? Does he mean songs in Hebrew? I'm a somewhat observant Jew and I've been to many Jewish weddings. I can't think of any songs played that were "Jewish" aside from the Hora.

You know your family best but my son's fil (who is Indian) was the first one out on the dance floor with me for the Italian songs

The wedding should be about you two. It's nice you are considering others and there will be time for them to dance as well but I feel the nod to the cultures is always interesting and often a lot of fun!

@Coffee - I honestly have no real idea about the hora medley, or the Jewish songs. He found all the music he likes, and he's just giving it to me to upload to our DJ - so I'm pretty out of the loop on the actual songs.

I listened to the "medley" and it is only about 3 minutes - it sounds more like just hava nagila and less of a medley. Perhaps that's where the issue is coming in.

@nonna - I really think all guests will enjoy the hora, but Russian music is not my cup of tea at all. Personally, I would sit down if they were played at a wedding I was just a guest at. It's just not music I enjoy at all - and I think Our guests will be similar if it's not music they are used to listening to.

Then it's a good time to go potty, have a couple of drinks, rest the legs and maybe chat with some non-dancers

Yes, I plan to skip those songs as much as possible, but I see them as total party atmosphere killers. I don't want to whole dance floor to empty out because they're playing Russian music.

Maybe I will talk with the dj about my concerns and give him the songs and just have him monitor the crowd for response. If people seem happy with it - play them all. If people seem less than impressed - play fewer. Instead of a "must play" list of cultural music, more of a "you can play this" list.

@Mrs - we had pulled pork last year for Passover at their house if that tells you how strict & observant they are. It's hard to know why this is so important to him when so little other religious aspects seem to matter.

ETA @rachel - we don't have anywhere to use music in the ceremony at this point, it's pretty set. I think he may have a very distorted image of the hora, and from what I've researched I believe the songs he wants may want a better medley instead of more songs.

@Linds, I'm on mobile now so I can't check, but I think you posted about a month ago asking how long the hora usually is? Or at least someone did...

At the last wedding I went to, the Hebrew circle dancing was about 12 minutes. I say "Hebrew circle dancing" because that's what people usually refer to as the hora. That was on par with the other weddings I've been to. There's usually 4-6 songs in the medley including Hava Nagila, Uvshaftem Mayim, Od Yishama, Siman Tov v Mazel Tov. Depending on the DJ, some of these have words and some are just klezmer style instrumental arrangements.

As to why your FH is so set on this, there may be something sentimental about it. Even for 'bagels and cream cheese' cultural Jews, the connection to tradition is strong with weddings. You'll only have this moment once, so that may be why he wants the Jewish songs/longer hora.

@coffee - I don't I posted that, but I did read a thread about it. I think if we could find a better medley or mix for that it would be good for both sides - I think everyone can enjoy that - and we actually plan to use it as our first full group dance to get everyone on the dance floor.

I do think there are some deep cultural connections for FH. He grew up in Russia, where it wasn't really acceptable to be openly Jewish, and in america it's much more accepted, however he was/is always a little quiet with his religion/culture. Sometimes I think he still feels like he's trying to balance all of those emotions between being who he thinks his family wants him to be, what they expect, what's allowed, etc.

We've also had Italian sausage for other high holy days. My dad (who is not Jewish) used to be responsible for all of the kosher products at his company - he always gets a kick out of my meal stories after we go there

Russian Jew here... if it makes you feel better in business school we took a bunch of Americans to a Russian restaurant w Russian dance music and Americans danced and had a great time. I would probably put Russian / Jewish music little later in the night so ppl have been drinking. Russians will dance; you'll dance; everyone else will dance too. I'm marrying my very American fiancé and we're still figuring out if / what we're doing for hora. I would only do hava nagila / 7-40 medley without chairs.