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Beginner May 2023

Reception rsvp Etiquette

Candace, on April 19, 2023 at 10:44 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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As me and my husband just got married privately out of state, we are now having an upcoming wedding reception dinner in our hometown with our friends and family. We paid for the venue and started sending out invites. When I invited my mother to come and shared the rsvp and information about the dinner, she immediately declined and said that no one should ever do rsvp’s for the brides or grooms parents. I felt hurt that she took my rsvp invite as offensive. She says the restaurant should prepare extra amount of food regardless of whether or not she comes and that rsvp is our generation?! Does this make sense to anyone?

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Latest activity by Samantha, on April 20, 2023 at 10:03 AM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 19, 2023 at 10:48 PM
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RSVPs have been customary for generations, way longer than your mother has likely been alive, at least in the US. If your mother from a different culture that maybe doesn’t do RSVPs? Otherwise, no, it doesn’t make sense. While parents are generally a given for attendance, if you search this forum, you can find plenty of instances where parents choose not to attend their children’s wedding for various reasons.
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Beginner May 2023
Candace · on April 19, 2023 at 11:16 PM
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Thank you for the insight Hannah and my mother is definitely from the US and well in her 70s so I was taken away that she took it very personally to the point of saying no…sad :-(
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Super May 2022
Erin · on April 19, 2023 at 11:36 PM
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Oof! I’m sorry that caused an argument with your mom 😞 I think most parents do get sent invites and RSVP info regardless of whether their attendance is “a given”. We gave our parents copies of the invitations because they could also serve as keepsakes and had them RSVP on our website, which helped us “test” that everything was working.

Weddings tend to bring out the weird or the worst in both family and friends. I promise it will subside once the reception has passed.
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Beginner May 2023
Candace · on April 20, 2023 at 12:38 AM
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Yes this makes total sense to me CM I saw nothing wrong in inviting/asking and no ill intention was behind it. Thank you for sharing this because she was guilt tripping me
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Beginner May 2023
Candace · on April 20, 2023 at 12:39 AM
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Thank you Erin! My mom will make me think I’m being crazy and and out of line for just offering/asking smh
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on April 20, 2023 at 3:31 AM
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You did nothing wrong. It's common to send the invites for parents to keep as a memory. I'm sorry that happened.
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Beginner November 2023
Samantha · on April 20, 2023 at 10:03 AM
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Interesting reaction. RSVP's are sent to everyone regardless of family status because anyone can decline for quite honestly any reason. It's not offensive to send them out even if it's expected a parent will be there. I'm not sure what sort of etiquette code she thinks you broke, because it's nonsense. I'm sorry you went through that!
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Reception rsvp Etiquette

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