Reception Seating: Open or Charted?

1) It will take a couple of hours, max. It's worth an hour of work to save your guests from the awkwardness of trying to find a seat.

2) You can start planning the chart as soon as RSVPs come in. You can really do it before then for immediate family and close friends who you know for a fact will be there.

3) They're adults, they'll be fine. They only have to sit next to them for an hour or so to eat dinner, then they're free to mingle with whoever they want.

Table assignments would really be much more organized. You could definitely wait until closer to your wedding to finalize it and get it printed. I know for me I didn't finalize and print it til days before.

You've got some good points Caitlyn. What have you experiences been at weddings, both open seating and charted?

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Good to know!! I definitely see how it would be so much more organized and less chaotic that way.

I was originally going to do open seating, but then I read on here so many opinions on assigned tables. So then I decided I'd give it a shot. BUT I wasn't willing to stress myself out over it, especially because most weddings in my area don't do assigned tables....and everything was fine. I gave it a good shot, but ultimately gave up because I just couldn't make it work, and like I said didn't think it was worth the stress. We had approx 140 guests, did open seating, and everything was smooth and their were no complaints.

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Gotcha, there were also 300+ guests at this wedding in a small camp mess hall, which could have contributed to the chaos for sure. Thank you for sharing your experience!

We had no seating chart at our wedding for 50 guests. We had only two tables and we reserved a section so Groom, my two kids, Best Man and myself could sit together. We just attended a wedding Saturday with place cards with names and people could sit wherever they wanted. There were about 80 people there and it was fine. To be blunt: A lot of people move them around to sit where they want, lol. It is not right but people do it. I would skip it.

I also loved your "I am lazy, I have too many other things to do" comment - sounded a bit like me, lol!!! My first wedding was waaaaay too many details and I was like what did I get myself into? This was before all the photobooth/favors/cocktail hour/etc stuff that has come along! So this time? Take it easy on yourself, sister!!! Best wishes!!!

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This. All of this. Additionally, you won't know about it after the fact, but a lot of people are really uncomfortable having to find someone with whom to sit - I was uncomfortable *at our rehearsal dinner* because we hadn't done a seating chart - and I was the bride!

Having even a simple seating chart can definitely minimize confusion and chaos!

I've been to a couple wedding receptions with open seating. I think it's hard for guests who either a) know no one or b) know a lot of people who they want to sit with during dinner. I'm expecting somewhere around 150 guests (give or take) and I'm planning on assigned tables. I can do a lot of it early, and fill in other spaces as it gets closer. I've also heard from other discussions on WW that you need to allow for more chairs/seating if you are doing open seating, since your guests aren't going to make the best use of all available space.

I think you wouldn't bother until RSVP are in, and doing assigned tables over seats is easier. I agree it's overwhelming

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We've been to both types and, as a guest, I much prefer the couple just telling me where they want me. With open seating, if you're not one of the first guests into the reception area after cocktail hour, you're not guaranteed to find a spot with your SO or family. It takes up unnecessary time while everyone lingers around looking for a spot to fit their party.

I will be doing a seating chart, and taking the approach of having at least 3 people who know each other at each table. That way everyone will be comfortable with one another, as well as possibly meet new friends/family members

Lol, “im lazy” is probably the worst excuse I’ve ever heard for this one 🤣 — let me tell ya, I’m THE LAZIEST and it was really super easy to spend 15 min organizing our guests into tables. I had one pickle — too many cousins, wasn’t sure how to best divide them amongst three tables. That one I sat on for a night and chatted with my mom for some advice , but, still not a big deal. A little bit of effort is a small price to pay for guest comfort, and I do believe seating chart is essential for that. (The idea of self seating makes me so anxious. What if I don’t fit with my friends? What if I take a spot that someone was hoping to have someone else sit at? What if I sit down and end up in the wrong mix of people?— I legitimately get nervous thinking about it).

you do need to wait for all your RSVPs to come in, so it is a bit of a last minute task. But, you can do the leg work and prep ahead of time— we did escort cards for the display for guests to find their seats. Before we chose everyones’ tables, I premade all the cards with everyone’s names on them, and had them more or less organized by group, so all I had to do was add the table numbers to the cards once we had everything settled.

I see your “what if we don’t do a good job” but remember — you know your guests better than they know eachother. So, you’ll do a better job than they would do on their own. It’ll also probably be less complicated than you think. Seat people with who they know. On my (lucky *astard) husband’s side, this naturally separated almost everyone perfectly into neat little table sized groups , and for the others we just used our judgement and combined smaller groups together where we thought they might have some stuff in common. It worked well, and everyone was happy— and we were also able to make sure that any exes were sat at different tables from their former partners! (Haha we had 2 such groups!). Anyway remember that sure this is where they’ll eat dinner, but they’re not glued to the seat. When I’ve been stuck before at odd tables, I enjoy the small talk during dinner, and then go off and enjoy the dance floor or the bar area for the rest of the night ....which frankly is probably where I am anyway haha— I don’t believe weddings are for sitting around a table all night!

Have you watched friends? The episode where monica and chandler are getting married and doing their seating chart? We are taking that approach. I didn't want a seating chart at first but figured it would be better to just do it (also allows you to set up tables and chairs needed and not have a bunch of extras). We bought floral arrangement foam, made a model of the location and made cut out tables and put peoples names on color coded flags (one color his family, one color mine and one color mutual). We have cut out tables so we can move them around so we know how we want it set up to begin with and then we will start adding in flags. Most people don't do a seating chart till last week or 2 anyways after all numbers have been secured. I wouldn't stress it too much until you get all your RSVPs. Our wedding is 73 days out and while we started we haven't bothered seating anyone except wedding party because we don't want to make 100 different versions as people RSVP.

As a guest, while it’s easier just be told where to sit, I don’t care either way. There’s a lot of things to consider. We’re doing a seating chart because our guest list is a pretty decent size, we’re doing a plated dinner and letting guests choose their entree so our waiters will need to know where to go, and the thought of 175-200 guests running around and trying to find a seat OR ruining place settings because they’re taking a chair to make a table of 8, a table of 9, makes my type A personality heart so sad. It’s really up to you. Most likely guests will only be sitting for dinner. After that they’re free to get up, dance and move around to talk to other friends. If they don’t like where they get to sit, they can suck it up for 45-an hour and enjoy their free meal.

Our venue is requiring us to have a seating chart because of meal choices-I’m planning on assigning tables and letting the venue know how many of each meal per table, then the guests will have their meal choice on their place card to show the waitstaff what to bring them.

That being said, I’m a teacher and I know I’ll be totally fed up with making seating chats by next June, so I get the not wanting to do it thing.

I would seriously consider a seating chart. You don't have to have place settings with everyone's chair you can just assign people to a table and let them pick their own seat at that table. It will also save you money. You don't have to rent as many chairs and tables if you have a seating chart. If you don't have a seating chart and you don't get enough tables then a family of 4 will take up a whole table and then the family of 6 will have to split up their family to sit somewhere. it's just so much more organized and will make everything go smoother if you have one. It doesn't have to be some super detailed seating chart. One option is to print the table number and names onto a piece of paper and just hang it across some line in a frame with clothespins. It's easy and something you can do pretty last minute.

I am doing a seating chart for my friends and my family will just have assigned tables that say "family" because I want to be sure my friends have a great time and sit with each other and my family can figure things out with each other. Probably super ghetto but I just cant think anymore. LOL. I am so tired of doing wedding stuff at this point. I created the seating chart and found that some people are not coming and replaced them with others that got added late. So I have made 3 and I still have to change it, so at this point I am just doing the tables for my friends. LOL

I had the same issue. I'm just going to have to suck it up and do a chart and I feel crazy because I have no idea who will sit with who and I really don't want to cause any trouble or awkwardness between anyone. My FH will probably despise me but he WILL be helping me with this. He's gotten away with almost everything else lol.