Reception

Serving light refreshments is perfectly acceptable and very commonly done. It is still a reception even if there is no full meal or dancing.

A reception is required after the ceremony and many times it is just cake or there might be light appetizers added. Dinner and dancing is not done in many social circles so it's not as common everywhere as people think. If you do not want a reception, you can't invite guests to the ceremony because it is a breach of etiquette.

I think it is fine to serve light non-alcoholic refreshments if the ceremony is at a non-meal time and guests aren't traveling far. If it's at mealtime or you have a lot of out of town guests, then a full meal should definitely be served. I also added non-alcoholic because it wouldn't be a good idea to serve alcohol and then send guests on an empty stomach on their way.

You need to get on the same page. Figure out a compromise you're both happy with. Gets practice in for future debates down the road.

Your original post is written as iff all of the push for more reception activities/time/food is coming from your parents. But this response shows that it's really a difference of opinion between your and your future spouse. I would leave your parents out of it and communicate your wants to your partner while letting him communicate his. You both need to work together to compromise until you are on the same page. Planning a wedding can be "practice" for how you two will solve problems in the future.

I mean, is your FH actually not wanting one, or just frustrated that there's back-and-forth happening and no solid plan? What if he's uncomfortable with your dad wanting to pay for everything? Have an open conversation with your SO, and find out what they would want, and if they're truly unhappy with the idea or just that there's no plan yet.

I know if my FH started throwing out an idea completely opposite to what we'd been planning on I would be a little unbalanced and frustrated. Not necessarily against it, but unhappy that the plans were changing so much and on such a short timeline.

My FH and I aren't big on social anythings, so getting married is going to be pretty crazy. In a way Covid made us lucky - we're not allowing any of the typical reception stuff (dancing, bouquet and garter toss), and we're having it be shortened, still a few hours but just for dinner and mingling. As others suggested you can also have cupcakes and punch refreshments rather than a sit down dinner. For us, this still allows the celebration and excitement and hanging out with our friends and families but isn't as crazy as a "normal" reception. My aunt got married a few years ago and her reception was just dinner as well. Get on the same page with your fiance, and ask your dad if there's anything else he would rather have the money go towards if not a reception.

I love the idea of no reception but purely for money reasons LOL. I forgot these things were done. I haven't seen a single "real wedding" where they don't have a reception tho..... is it called something else? why is it so hard to find examples of these types of weddings!

I love the idea of no reception but purely for money reasons LOL. I forgot these things were done. I haven't seen a single "real wedding" where they don't have a reception tho..... is it called something else? why is it so hard to find examples of these types of weddings!

Yes they are called weddings. They also don't have guests either. When you have guests, you need to provide basic refreshments and a minimum hour or two of greeting them.