Registry and House Fund!

Lol my fiance and I are building a house sometime after the wedding and I wanted so bad to do a "house fund" in place of a registry, but I decided against it for multiple reasons (mostly from learning that it's rude).

So I did the next best thing and filled our registry with shit like thermostats, electrical outlets, cans of paint, bathroom fixtures, light switch plates, door knobs, etc. So now we'll get both money and practical house building materials that we will no longer have to purchase from those who want to give physical gifts. Win win!

We had a house fund and our guests loved it just keep the small registry and don't worry about adding more!

As a guest, I wouldn't mind contributing to one of these if that's what you really want, but I'd be wierded out and probably go around asking whether that's normal behind your back. Upon which everyone will tell me how hideously rude and tacky it is and I would be surprised and kind of embarrassed for you. You'll have to determine whether that's worth it or not.

@ASanchez - There is a difference between no/small registry with the expectation people to get the hint and bring cash and straight up saying "we don't need things, just give us money."

The latter is very rude. I didn't register. I did put up a note saying that I didn't register because we had no bridal shower. I didn't want people to think I didn't invite them to one.

I know it's tempting to ask for money as a wedding gift and you somehow believe you are doing your guests a favor by doing this, please don't.

Guests will give you money regardless. There is no single person I can think of who "has everything" they need. You don't. FH and I have been living together for 3 years as well and couldn't WAIT to put new, nicer dishes, new cookware, silky sheets, fancy guest towels, etc on our registry. Of course money is the best gift of all but you NEVER ask your guests for it. I have a huge registry for our large guest list and still managed to get $300 in gift cards at our shower this weekend (we had about 20 guests there) without asking for it.

I would also like to mention that as a mortgage professional, I hope you aren't planning on purchasing this house in the very near future since you'll have to go back to your guests and get a letter from each of them stating the money they gave you was a gift. That's embarrassing.

Is a house fund a registry for money so you can buy a house? I'm waiting for you to come back and clarify that this isn't true, because of course you wouldn't ask people to pay for you to buy a house and that instead you're saving for your house just like everyone else does. Because no one needs help giving you cash for a wedding gift and you must know that asking people to pay for your house isn't cool.

I lived with my husband for 4 years before we got married, and we bought our own house with our own savings. We also had a registry, and still got all cash at our wedding (except for 1 boxed gift from high school kids).

Stick to a small registry

Just do a small registry, people will get the hint.

If you can't save money on your own for a house, then you don't get a house until if/when you do. What entitlement to think other people should finance things for you just because you're getting married.

Please do not ever ask for money. If your registry is small, they'll probably give you a monetary gift

I am getting married in September and I have had many friends get married the past couple of years and this coming year. House Funds are becoming more and more popular and I think make more sense for some people. I don't understand the difference between opinions on a honeymoon fund vs, house fund. I personally think they are equally important and none of my family and/or friends have felt negatively towards this idea for the weddings we've attended so far. They have all been happy to contribute to something important rather than something you'll throw away in a year. Go for it girl!

We’re using our wedding money toward a house, but we didn’t ask people to give us money. We just didn’t register because I think registries and showers are gift grabby. Nothing wrong with using your wedding money toward something important. - the point is, just don’t ask for it.

Seems like its similar to a "Honeymoon Fund" which I have seen at a number of weddings I've been to.

I agree! I personally am not having one because we are both lacking good home goods for our apartment we are moving into soon. My only problem those sights are it takes a percentage. Whenever I see one on a registry I just take a check or cash to the shower so that they get the full amount. I by no mean think less of the couple just because they would prefer to do things this way.

Times change... welcome to 2018! Is it technically considered tacky. Unless you are in a social group that is very proper I think you are fine. Older generations might still judge you. I just see a major change in the years. Things with weddings are much different now than they were years ago. This is only a choice you can make and know if your social group would judge you.

Try to think of all the home improvement things you would need and put those on there. Like a PP said cleaning supplies, lights, light bulbs, carpets, pillows, hardware for building, building supplies, anything at all!

Do you mean you're looking for money towards purchasing a house or that you're looking for money for renovations? We bought our house about 2 years ago and have most of the essentials but registered at Bed Bath and Beyond for updates of things that we need (new cookware set because ours is hand-me-downs, etc.). We're looking to renovate our bathroom and living room in the next few years so we created an Amazon registry so we could register for gift cards from Lowes and Home Depot for renovation type things.

We did a small registry and we mostly were given monetary gifts.

DO NOT ASK FOR MONEY.....IT'S SO RUDE!!!!

What about a honeyfund? Is that rude?

View Quoted Comment Yes. Not only is it rude to ask your guests to contribute to an unnecessary vacation that you should be paying for yourself if you want. It’s also rude because all of those websites charge a fee, and they present themselves as if you’re buying experiences when in reality the couple just gets a check and doesn’t ever need to go on the honeymoon or do the things you were supposedly paying for.

View Quoted Comment

Really? We have had lots of friends ask us "can we send you some money towards your wedding?" Because they know we are paying for it ourselves and a few sites I checked out with said honeyfund was the way to go. I never thought that it would be considered rude. We've already had a few friends contribute. I thought it was less rude than emailing paypal emails. If people ask if they can contribute what do you do?

Please don't jump on me or get upset, I'm really curious.

For us it's not an "unnecessary vacation" it's literally our wedding.

Maybe take it off the website but just send it to people who ask how they can contribute?

Thanks for advice, I thought this was pretty normal these days. (Also the wedding party pays the fees not the people contributing)

View Quoted Comment I mean I guess it’s less rude than emailing a paypal account, but I’ve literally never heard of or seen anyone do that for their wedding. Everyone I know has paid for their own wedding and friends don’t contribute because they’re paying for their own weddings/children/homes, etc.

I would take it off the website. If someone offers, you can share the link or you can just say that while you appreciate their generosity, it’s completely unnecessary. A honeymoon isn’t necessary. Even if you have a DW, you can come home without honeymooning.