Registry & Forever Home Fund

Most people don’t give physical gifts for the wedding anyway. There’s no need to tell people that you want cash, everyone knows that money is a good gift without you asking for it.

It depends on your social circle. Many don't give cash for any reason whike others see it as common. Ask your friends and family what they commonly do and go from there. That is much more accurate of your social circle than what random strangers across the country find customary.

The only time people go off registry is when the store is not local, the gifts are too expensive, or there is no registry.

Guests want to know what you want and need. You mentioned fiance's family is insisting on a registry so that hroup does physical gifts. Bed, Bath and Beyond has a registry list to get you started. Everyone can use upgrades and matching stuff. Maybe you want to redecorate with a new theme/color palette. Maybe you want fun appliances or whatnot that you wouldn't buy yourself (a crepe iron or margarita blender for example).

Asking for money in any capacity (honeymoon fund, gift cards, setting up a honeymoon registry with the intent to switch out the experiences for cash, etc) is seen as rude.

View Quoted Comment I 100% agree with Caytlyn. If people don't see anything they like on the registry, they will most likely just give cash or a check. A honeyfund takes an unnecessary percentage of your gift for the "benefit" of being the middle man. Just leave things as is. People know that cash is a good gift.

I agree with Caytlyn. All weddings I’ve been to in the last 5+ years, there have hardly been any physical gifts given. Most people default to cash, check or gift cards these days. If you don’t want physical gifts for your wedding, you could create a wedding shower registry and only give that info to those invited to the shower; then remove it after the shower. With a lack of registry, most people will default to monetary gifts.

I literally just got engaged yesterday, but I had already told my extended family (jokingly but seriously) years ago that I think physical gift registries are outdated (my FIANCE(!!) and I have been together 9 years, so similar to your situation).

Most registry sites have options for gift cards, honey funds, house funds, etc. Just put those options on your registry and people will understand. Plus there is usually a space to write something above the registry- just put something about how you've lived together and already have most of the things you need. Emphasize that gifts aren't required but there's a monetary option.

I would not do any kind of wishing well or cash fund. Just let your registry run out. Also, insist on NOT having a shower if you don't need things, and have a bridal brunch instead.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a registry or honeymoon or house fund. People want to gift you something and it’s nice to give them the options of what you actually want and need. Make it easy for people to give you what you want! If they don’t want to give you the gifts on the registry or do the honeymoon or house fund then they will gift you what they deem appropriate and either way it’s nice that they are giving you something! Do what works best for you and your situation and don’t let anyone tell you it’s rude or not rude because if it works for you then it’s right!

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This. Some people will give physical gifts regardless of a registry or not, but the majority will just gift cash for the wedding anyway. No reason to set up a fund that will take a chunk of the money for fees.

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Thanks Michelle. My FH's family is just insisting on a bridal shower, but they suggested we register for gift cards, which just seems like a waste and a hassle for everyone. It's hard for the registry on matching stuff and whatnot for themes because we are looking for a new house and don't really know what we'll want/need once we get to the new house. At the moment, there's nothing we want/need, but I supposed people will figure it out if there's nothing on the registry. Or we get nothing, and that's fine too! Thanks for your input!

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Thank you! I tried to get out of a shower and even my fiance insisted we have one, which is basically a brunch anyway. I'll get through it with enough mimosas.