Registry

People who will default to a monetary gift if you do not register. No need to over think it. If anyone asks you could politely say that you are saving up for something special.

Asking for monetary gifts, for any purpose, is frowned upon. I would simply not register. Soliciting cash and explaining what you'd use it for makes you sound like a charity. A wedding is not a fundraiser.


If a guest gives you a cash gift of their own accord, it is appropriate to disclose what you'll use it for in the thank you card. "Thank you for your kind gift. We'll be putting it towards expanding our family."
If you absolutely feel the need to ask for cash, there are lots of examples of cutesy poems that tell guests that you prefer cash, or that there will be a wishing well/tree. They're tacky, but not as blunt as saying, "We prefer cash."

I don't thinks its tacky at all. Nowadays many couples live together a long time prior the wedding and just dont need stuff to start a "household" together as tehy already have one. I have been to multiple wedding where either they had a box for cards(usually with money in them) or they had a homepage with link to their "honeyfund" or similar. Usually the invite said something like "
Our love is big our home is small we don't have space for many gifts at all.... we don't expect gifts and its most important just to have you here on our big day, but if you like to give something towards our XXXXX(honeymoon/ start in married life whatever please) you can find the link to our XXX (honeyfund/ financial registry) etc below" Enabling people to give financial gifts prior to wedding/ just transfer. I feel a registry is outdated. Honestly no one gets excited about a mixer anymore... and I dont care if I spent 50 dollar on some plates for someone or give them the money straight so they can buy something they actually want need or spent it on something that makes them happy (and what that is is none of my business).

I don't think it's tacky at all. I recommend using gofundme.

Tell a few really good friends, people who are good hearted and not judgy, and they will get the word out. “Oh I heard they are going to use a donor and you know how expensive that can be, I’m going to give cash...they probably have enough toasters!”

Asking outright for money is just not polite. But letting close friends and family know that if anyone asks for suggestions or their registry, they can say you are saving up for this. And it is fine if someone asks you, to tell them. But you telling people before they ask is presuming they will give a gift, and want you to choose it. That is the part that offends people. Once they ask for a suggestion ( including asking why such a small registry) they have declared their wish to give a gift, and asked what you want.

Please, for the love of God, do not use a GoFundMe for your wedding registry. Your wedding isn’t a charity. Simply skip the registry and people will default to cash or check gifts that you can use for whatever you’d like. No cutesy poem needed.

Asking for money is very rude, as several commenters pointed out. Just don’t register and people will give you money.

Nowadays it's normal for couples to have a money fun included on their registry.

You can do this through Zola! Guests can put however much they want into your fund and it's simple to use!

When it comes to guests thinking it's rude...it really depends on the person. We've had several friends and family that had money funds included with their registry, and there wasn't a problem at all with that. The guests that were going to give a monetary gift anyways, just put it into the fund rather than the wedding card.

View Quoted Comment If guests are going to give a monetary gift anyway, what’s the purpose of paying a third party to collect it for you? I’m just curious what the thought process is behind this.

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Some couples just find it easier to have it all in one spot rather than a check or cash. I'm not saying it's the best option, just stating that it isn't out of the ordinary for couples to do this.

My FBIL and his wife had their honeymoon fund on their Zola registry, and divided it among categories so guests knew what it was going towards (airfare, lodgings, excursions). They liked that they could digitally deposit the money straight to their bank account, rather than go to the bank after the wedding. It may not work for everyone, but it is an option.

Thank you for the advice! We did not simply want to ask for money like a charity but we also don't need anything. I love the poem idea and we wanted to do a wooden tree picture for our guestbook and were thinking of something to tie together expanding our family "tree". Such as a cute poem (most of our guest are family but there are a lot of them).

Asking for money is always rude. There is no clever way to word this because you will make guests upset.


Guests will buy you gifts you don't want and cannot return if you do not register.

View Quoted Comment I'm not sure what kind of friends and family would be upset about someone being honest. That's not the kind of family or friends that I have and I am simply looking for ideas for a cute set up for it. Many of them already know it's what were planning on doing and respect it but I don't want to just have a plain basket for money.

I would simply not register and guests will get the memo and give you cash and checks. Definitely do not go a gofundme! That's not at all appropriate for a wedding

View Quoted Comment You don’t need a basket or a poem. If guests are going to gift cash, it’s already going to be in an envelope when they arrive. They’re not going to take it out of the card and put it in the basket. That’s what card boxes are for. They’re also not going to change their gift because of your poem.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I am a Queer woman and I understand the unique ways in which we start a family and the financial burden this can cause. If people want to support you in this way, they will. If they don’t, then they won’t! Either way, I’d say something like “in Lieu of registry gifts, please consider a contribution to our growing family fund. Your presence is always enough” or something like that. Good luck with your wedding and I wish nothing but the best for you and your partner. Xo

Most registry places allow a cash fund. The knot has different fund types or you can create your own. I don’t think asking for cash is any different than asking for gifts 🤷‍♀️

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So they should create a registry of things they don't want to avoid people buying them things they don't want because they don't have a registry? That makes zero sense.

OP - I agree that outright saying "hey give us cash" is rude, but clearly that's not your thought process. I'd go with a poem or something like you've said to get the word out to guests and then they can do with it what they wish. My FH and I have a honeyfund because we don't need or want anything for our home. We are all set there and we feel it's a waste to upgrade things just for the sake of having a registry. If it isn't broken. We put different activities that we want to do on our honeyfund and people can put money specifically towards those or they can do nothing at all. Either works for us! I also don't understand how that is any different than asking for a $200 item on a wedding registry. In fact none of our activities is $200.

View Quoted Comment A registry is not restricted to household items only. Many people register for personal interests and shared hobbies. Camping, grilling, sports, card/board games, outdoor decorating and the sky is tge limit.


Many social circles including the older generations see asking for cash (including personal fundraising best left to gofundme and honeymoon funds) as very impolite. That has not changed because some feel its outdated. Registry/alternative information is only spread by word of mouth when someone asks. It has no place on the invites or anywhere else.