Regret Not Seeing All of my Wedding Guests

I would suggest writing longer thank you notes to those people. It’s good that your husband was able to say hello to everyone, I would just write longer more personal thank yous.

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I understand your feeling because I would regret that as well if it had happened to me. But since you can't go back in time, this is a good solution.

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This is a great suggestion! There's not much you can do about the past, but a small gesture like writing a more personal thank you note could help make you feel better!

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I agree with this! I felt the same way after our wedding to a certain extent (150 guests). my husband I split up and tried our best to go around and greet every table. there were certain people I didn't get to talk to, but he did, and vice versa. but both of us kept also getting pulled away by other people. there were even a few elderly guests who left before we even got to their tables!

So we only had 47 guests and I was really determined to stop at our six 8-person tables to see everyone and doing so took FOREVER and delayed our cake cutting and first dance by more than a half hour. We ended up only having two hours of dancing instead of three because doing rounds with 1/3 the number of guests you had took so long. While I can understand the regret in not seeing everyone, I do want you to know that its really not possible to spend quality time with all of your 150 guests in such a short period.

There was one guest I didn't speak to at all during the night (my husband did) and I still feel kind of bad about it. He was seated with our families and my good friend who got ready with me, so I skipped over that table because I had already seen everyone, and then he left early before I got to thank him for coming. That's one guest, a friend of my husband's who he spoke with, and I still feel a bit guilty not even saying hello. So what you are feeling is totally normal, but definitely do not beat yourself up over it.

I have been to weddings where the couple stops by every table, but its usually such a quick "thank you for coming" that it's really not all that meaningful as a guest. I wanted to engage our guests a bit more but doing so takes time. Having had that experience now, I don't think its really possible to greet 150 people or even 50 people in just the time it takes to eat a meal without being very brief and superficial.

Don't feel so guilty. I like the idea of writing a longer thank you note to the guests you did not get to spend much time with, and including them in your list of thank yous even if they did not give a gift. Additionally, I think something like a simple text or phone call to thank them for coming is a personalized, individual point of contact that will express your gratitude to them, even if you didn't get to spend much in-person time with them at your wedding.

Hey Crystal - I haven't had my wedding yet, but I can imagine what that feeling must be like. I'm sure you're not the only bride going through this and I'm sure it's difficult to make your rounds and get the chance to talk to everyone! If I were in your position - I would try to call or facetime those who you missed and thank them for coming to the wedding and just having a small conversation with them! I'm sure they'll be 100% understanding and it'll make them feel special and you feel better!!

Hang in there!

Make an effort to spend time with guests. If that means a longer reception, then do that. A post-ceremony greeting goes a long way and unfortunately many couples have decided that isn’t important. They would rather do table visits that take a long time (easily can take an hour or more) and don’t even reach everyone, where dismissing the rows goes very quickly and they get to talk to everyone. Greeting guests at the bar at the cocktail hour is an idea I read online (don’t recall if it was here or another site) and the bride said they got to talk to almost everyone in a short amount of time.


People say it’s impossible to greet and chat with all your guests but you have to make the effort to figure out the best method. It can be done easily even with a large guest list. The popular idea of cutting out line greeting in one form or another (no one says parents and attendants have to be included) isn’t the wisest thing when it comes down to spending time with guest.

View Quoted Comment This is a great idea, thank you so much for your reply!!

View Quoted Comment This is such a great idea thank you! And thank you for replying I’ve been very down on myself and I appreciate your quick reply on here!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Maggie! That’s the hardest part, knowing I can’t go back and recapture those memories thank you so much for your reply!

View Quoted Comment Thank you I’m definitely going to work on it this week because it is eating me up! Thank you for your reply!

View Quoted Comment Anna I had the same feeling about older guests that neither of us were able to greet. The night went so fast! Thank you for your reply and sympathizing it does help me feel a bit better. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Kari thank you soooooo much for your reply!! This truly did help me feel better. It’s like eating me up and it definitely sucks! I like the idea of a call/text to those guests. Boy do I have a lot of calls haha! But thank you for your reply it means a lot

View Quoted Comment Viviana thank you soooo much for this message you are so sweet and it really does help me feel better! Thank you!!!

View Quoted Comment Hi Michelle, thank you for the reply. These are all great ideas, but I have to say that since I was posting to this forum hoping for ideas to help cope with the guilt I feel, your post kind of feels like adding salt to a wound since I can’t go back in time. The “they” you are referring to in your response to me, the guilt ridden bride looking for help addressing the regret

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No problem! Until you are the bride/groom I don't think its possible to really understand what this experience is like. I'm sorry for the one poster who is clearly an old fashioned etiquette purist (they tend to make similar unhelpful comments on other threads that rake people over the coals for not following impractical "rules" that don't apply to all situations or simply aren't as relevant in modern society) and made you feel worse.

I do think a personal call (or even a quick individual text) will go a long way in making your guests feel appreciated and letting them know that their presence at your event was noted and felt. I'll also point out that guests have the opportunity to approach you and connect with during the reception if it is something that is really important to them. As a guest I always make sure I congratulate the couple, even if its on my own time, or its at the end of the night when I am departing. We had a few guests who left while we were off taking photos, but they sent us a quick text letting us know they left, thanking us for hosting, and offering their congratulations. Communication and relationships are always a two-way street, so you shouldn't feel solely responsible or guilty for not making one-on-one connections with all of your 150 guests over the course of a single event.

The fact that this has been bothering you so much is a clear indication of how important each of your guests being at your event was to you, so I am certain your guests will feel that from you when you reach out. Try to not have this feel like such a burden or thing you feel guilty about, and instead look at it as an opportunity to connect with your guests in less time-sensitive way.

Good luck and virtual hugs!

I had 250 people and went around the tables and took welcome photos [when guests enter after signing in, they'll get a photo with the bride and groom]. but i still do have some regret with not socializing with people more - it gets SO overwhelming!

View Quoted Comment Oh I’m sorry! That was not the intention at all. I think guests to a degree understand that the couple can’t always get to everyone but not for lack of trying. Your feelings are valid. Maybe in the coming months is it possible to meet up with any of the guests you didn’t get to greet and spend more time with them? It doesn’t make up for anything but might alleviate some guilt?

Oh my god I am in the same boat and beating myself up about it. We had a welcome event and a hike where I got to connect with people. I hope that counts?!

The same thing happened at my wedding, we had 134 guests & decided not to do a reception line which is very old school, but rather greet the guests at each of their tables. Our timeline was messed up from before the reception even began as photos took way longer than we expected & it felt like we tried to catch up all night. After eating a little dinner we got up & started making the rounds but unfortunately the first 2 tables we stopped at were our immediate families & we spent a very long time at each table. Before we knew it they were calling us to cut the cake & do first dances, and then the music started for everyone & we were out on the dance floor most of the night. We did make it to a few other tables throughout the night but only made it to speak with about half our guests. Our wedding was 4 months ago & I am still bothered by this every day… especially not getting to see some of our out of town family members we haven’t seen in a long time. I keep racking my brain trying to figure out what we could have done differently, but I just think our expectations were unrealistic given the size of our guest list & that the night started 30 minutes behind schedule. I love the ideas of writing more in depth thank you notes to everyone! I know we can’t change what happened but I just want all of our guests to know how special they are & how much we loved having them each there to celebrate with us! So thank you so much for posting this & thank you ladies for all of your wonderful feedback!