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Champion July 2019

Regrets

Veronica, on October 18, 2019 at 5:37 PM Posted in Married Life 0 4

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My husband and I have been married for almost 3 months. Our wedding was amazing, but I can't seem to stop thinking about some of the things I would have changed. Our florist messed up and the flowers were falling apart and they looked nothing like what I wanted. My bridesmaids bouquets were supposed to be a single red rose with a bunch of babies breath, but instead there were probably a dozen red roses with a little bit of babies breath so the flowers blended into the bridesmaids dresses since the dresses were red. My bouquet, my maid of honor's bouquet, and my centerpieces were supposed to have blush roses, but they were pink instead. My jewelry got lost and my bridesmaids had to search for it which meant we didn't get as many getting ready photos as I wanted. It was nearly 100 degrees so we didn't get really any outdoor photos. We weren't supposed to have a champagne toast and my dad who is a recovering alcoholic accidentally drank some of the champagne luckily that didn't cause him to start drinking again. I had wanted to get married in October, but my sister was supposed to be getting married in October however she cancelled her wedding after we already had our venue and most of our vendors booked. We had a beautiful arch I really wanted for the ceremony, but you can't see my husband in the photos of us doing the sand ceremony because the material on the arch is blocking him. Is it normal to wish you could change things because lately it seems like that's all I can think about and I feel stupid for feeling this way.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on October 22, 2019 at 6:58 AM

VIP January 2019
Maggie · on October 18, 2019 at 6:38 PM
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I don't know that it's normal to wish you could change things ("normal" isn't really that helpful a word when comparing humans to other humans), but I do know that the mishaps you described are pretty common for weddings. With all of the plans and details, it's quite likely for many things (minor to major) to not go quite as planned. Things go missing, vendors substitute one flower for another, the weather does what the weather does.
Anyway, truthfully, the best thing you can do for yourself is to acknowledge your disappointment and then find a way to move on. Nothing good can come from dwelling on things in the past that can't be changed.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on October 18, 2019 at 6:57 PM
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It's okay to feel sad some things didnt go right but you can't dwell on them. What's done is done! Enjoy being married and reminiscing about the things that went right!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on October 19, 2019 at 12:49 AM
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Mishaps are very normal for weddings. It’s ok to be disappointed. I too was sad for a few missed photo ops and a few things I wish went differently but overall our wedding was full of love, fun, friends & family.

If you really can’t let it go, consider a vow renewal with just the two of you to create some of the decor (your bouquet) or moments you missed (sand ceremony).
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
Clíodhna · on October 22, 2019 at 6:58 AM
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Hey Veronica.
I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling down. Your feelings are totally valid and not one bit stupid.
The post-wedding blues are real and can present themselves in a ton of different ways (6 Normal Emotions If You’re Dealing with the Post-Wedding Blues) including disappointment, frustration and sadness. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way.
It’s normal to pick apart the details of the day we weren’t happy with, however, it’s also important to focus on the part of the day you loved! What are some of those?
Make sure you lean on your DH for support. Have you spoken with him about how you’re feeling? Sharing some of these with him may help you move past them. Together, you can find a new goal to look forward to and plan! Distract yourself with fun plans, focusing on married life, or maybe you could take up a new hobby or something you didn’t get to do as much during planning.
The community is always here when you need to chat and get your feelings out. Sending you a big e-hug
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