Regular Registry with Honeyfund options?

People will give cash if they want to give it. They don't need it to be listed on your registry.

While some people might not see it as tacky, the majority will and they will talk about it amongst themselves.

Please don't do this.

@1Sooner.Fan

I kind of think that it also depends on where you are from. I'm just not convinced that my circles are of the same mind as most of WW seems to be, y'know? I totally understand where you and everyone else here are coming from, I just don't know if I agree. I'm still totally on the fence and I appreciate your input.

I guess what I'm saying is that since some people will give cash (like you said), it seems more meaningful if they know it's for our honeymoon or other special thing, not just for rent or bills. If I were giving cash, that's what I'd think.

I just wonder if it's a cultural thing - not American versus another country culture, but the kind of culture that each group of people has based on where they live and who they are friends with and what their parents taught them. Considering I've never heard this until WW, it doesn't seem to be a universal rule.

@Jennifer - I agree that the fees aren't ideal but I feel like it's the couple's choice to take the cut. It's not about what you give, it's about that you gave what you felt you could/was appropriate to the relationship (close friend versus acquaintance) and it's the couple's loss on the fee. I also feel like I would prefer gift cards but I doubt that that's considered good etiquette by WW either.

Its just so very unnecessary. Even if you do register at different stores, there is still always the option to give a monetary gift. Its called "cash". You may find some stuffed in envelopes.

Some people may even give a little piece of paper called a "check". Don't be alarmed. It is still money! You put it in the bank and you don't lose 5 - 10% of it to a third party website! Isn't it wonderful?

@Kristy thanks for replying. I feel like "it's unnecessary" is more valid or understandable than "it's tacky."

Maybe that's my practical side, but I can get behind that far more than the feeling of a slap on the wrist that I get when I read "It's tacky, don't do it."

Before I got married a lotttt of people were asking my parents or in-laws if we would rather something off of our registry or cash. They responded 'cash' on our behalf. You can tell your parents the same in case people ask

It IS a cultural thing. WeddingWire forums have a certain cultural expectation of what's tacky and what isn't--WW isn't wrong, but there are certainly some exceptions to the rule depending on where you live. For instance, my BFF is having a dry wedding. Most people would cringe at that here but where she lives alcohol is so frowned upon she couldn't even find a venue that allowed it, and had she offered it, none of her family would have attended.

What you really have to ask yourself is what advice you're looking for out of WW. Asking people here about a honeyfund--you know what advice you're going to get now. If you're comfortable with it, there's nothing stopping you from going ahead and doing it anyway. I personally dislike honeyfunds and gift cards on registries because I feel the same as many do--you really shouldn't be making your intentions clear that you want cash. Of course you want cash, everyone does. But the fun for the guests is choosing a gift out. My advice is to use Amazon registry, where you can then register for items from any website, including places like Home Depot, Lowe's, etc.

The reason it's considered tacky gets back to the purpose of a registry. The purpose of a registry is to help those guests who want to give you a gift know what you would like. It is not to suggest to guests that they give you a gift, which is why it never goes into your invitations.

So registering for cash makes no sense. Everyone who wants to give you a gift already knows you'd like cash. (Everyone does!) So why would you need to put cash on a registry? Because it in no way tells people what you would like if they choose to give you a gift, the suspicion is always that you are doing it to suggest to guests that they give you a gift.

I don't think anything is wrong with a honeyfund. We decided against it because most of them charge you fees on each credit card transaction. So it takes from each person gift. We did find one that wouldn't take fees if created a PayPal account & linked to your checking account or something like tht. That was way too much so we just said forget it, we'll just take the cash to the bank ourselves.

I have been to sooooo many weddings with honeyfunds and not once has anyone ever said anything negative about them. Not once.

Are there alternatives like hey we dont need any gifts or stuff we just want help paying for the honeymoon but in a nice way like a registry instead of a jar that says donate cash? Know what I mean?

150 gifts + "honeyfund" option? This is super excessive.

I think that since you've already created registries at 3 stores, it's not necessary to add a honeyfund option too.. I only say this because I think people know (whether you tell them or not) that they have an option to give you cash, and if they want to do that rather that shop for a gift, they'll do it. Plus almost everyone gives cash at the actual wedding anyway.

If you really want to drive home that you want cash, make one small registry at one store. People will get the hint. No gift is an expectation, a registry is a guide for your guests who would like to purchase a gift for you so that you don't end up with three toasters, and if you have a small registry people will get the hint that you don't need much in terms of homewares. Also, as pp's have suggested, maybe telling your parents to delicately suggest cash would be helpful so you don't have to broadcast to the world "hey friends and family give us cash!"

I personally always view honeyfunds or people asking for cash on their registries like the couple is panhandling to their guests, which really turns me off. Your guests are coming to celebrate with you. They don't need to give you anything additional, if they do it's a nice bonus but it's by no means required.

We registered at one store, Target. We got 20 items off the registry (people all bought more than one thing and I had a shower) and the rest was cash. Hell, I got cash at my shower! And the same people gave me cash at the wedding. Don't add this option because they will give it to you.

Thanks for all of your responses

I'm on mobile so it's hard for me to reply to each one but here's my follow up:

My registry recommended double the number of gifts to guests - we have 150 guests and 300 sounds like too many items to register for, but I was aiming for "more gifts than guests" so 150-180 gifts didn't seem like too much in comparison with what the site said. Is this inaccurate?

I guess I was mainly curious if the perspective is different for a registry that is mostly traditional with a few experience-type or cash gifts thrown in (rather than the only option being honeymoon gifts). It seems the answer is still the same.

I really appreciate all your thoughtful, polite answers even though I basically asked something that has been talked to death already.

I like the idea of my mom and grandma being able to spread the word. While we could use a new toaster or maybe some other items upgraded, we both tend to be thrift / bargain shoppers and I don't mind using $30 plates I bought at Ross rather than $200 sets with Martha Stewart's name on the box. So we will probably go with the small registry, word of mouth route.

I just tend to be a planner, so in my head it seems more like a sure thing - we need cash, we show it on the list with the vacuum cleaner we also really need. The word of mouth route is a little more vague - but I am reassured that people give cash regardless and I don't need to worry.

I guess in my mind, the tackiness comes from your intentions.

So while I know my own feelings, that I would be happy if everyone showed up empty handed but the registry is a helpful place if they do want to bring us a gift. (Way tackier would be someone with a 100% traditional registry who threw a fit because not every item was purchased for her or someone showed up empty handed.)

It seems like it would be fine among my circles (and parents' circles) if a registry did include gift cards or experiences. They know we just want their presence and I'm happy to reiterate that on the registry.

But I do understand how the addition of nontraditional items can be seen as rude.

In my opinion..you know your circle better than anyone here. Yes most people here seem to think honey funds are tasteless, however, in some circles it's more practical. If your friends are more open minded and you feel they will like the practicality of it..then why not?

If they want to give cash they will if they don't they will ignore it and move on. I don't know why that's such a difficult concept for this forum. I get you all think it tacky okay so don't give money. I personally didn't even want to create a registry bc I know my family and I know they don't look at registries or even buy gifts but for some reason would ask me one million times where I registered at lol. If there's not an option to remove the part where it allows your guest to give money instead just ignore it and let people choose for themselves if they want to give you money or a gift. In a few months no one will care what was on your registry.

I'm assuming that the majority of your guests are couples or families. Each guest isn't going to give you a gift. Try breaking it down into households. That might give you a more reasonable amount.

@Katia thaaaat makes so much more sense. I'm two days in and still overwhelmed with choices so I hadn't really given it much thought beyond what Macy's told me. Thanks!