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Master November 2022

Rehearsal Dinner Booze?

Chrysta, on February 9, 2020 at 7:03 PM Posted in Parties and Events 1 13

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Is it customary to pay for your guests’ alcoholic beverages at the rehearsal dinner, or just the food? We will be inviting all our guests to the rehearsal dinner since we are having a DW and do not want to leave anyone out. That means our rehearsal dinner will be 50 people, which more than doubles the cost it would have been otherwise. Plus we will be having it in a private room at a restaurant (not just catered) so it’s even more expensive. We are providing a full open bar for everyone the following evening at the wedding reception. So is it necessary to pay for alcoholic beverages at the rehearsal dinner too? And if not, how would you handle that? The restaurant has a bar, so guests could easily order alcoholic beverages from the waitstaff. How would we tactfully explain we will not be paying for alcoholic beverages? And how would we ensure we didn’t get charged for them? TIA!

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Latest activity by Chrysta, on February 13, 2020 at 1:39 PM

Dedicated July 2020
Kellyann · on February 9, 2020 at 7:13 PM
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The last wedding I was in, the first drink was on the bride and groom. Guests had to pay for subsequent drinks. If you're planning to not pay for alcohol, just give them a heads up. Let waitstaff know, etc.
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Devoted December 2020
Rachel · on February 9, 2020 at 7:33 PM
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I was going to do the same as you (inviting all guests to rehearsal dinner since it’s a DW) but I got overwhelmed at the cost of it. We decided to only invite immediate family + wedding party and significant others to rehearsal and cover their dinner and drinks (which cut the list from 60 to around 25).

Ultimately it’s your decision but I don’t think anyone would be upset of not being invited to a rehearsal dinner for a DW. I’ve been to several out of town weddings and have never been invited to rehearsal dinner even though etiquette rules say to invite out of town guests to the dinner.
Another idea is to have a rehearsal lunch before the actual rehearsal. Dishes are usually cheaper & people may not drink at all or as much in the middle of the day. Just a thought! 🙂
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on February 9, 2020 at 8:24 PM
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My friend gave out drink tickets for 3 drinks per guest for her rehearsal dinner. I asked my place if we could do that and got it approved. So that's what we are doing. Any more than that and the guests will have to pay for it.
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October 2020
Fleur · on February 9, 2020 at 9:47 PM
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We are also doing drink tix/per person for our RD. We haven't figured out our numbers yet (too early), but we're estimating minimum of 2 tix/pp. I don't want my future in-laws to go broke with our large, "fun loving" crowd lol + we are hosting open bar the next night at reception. Good luck!
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VIP February 2020
Julie · on February 10, 2020 at 12:14 AM
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I'm buying them dinner at a restaurant, and a seated meal with open bar at the wedding itself. I'm not getting them booze at RD. It's in a brewery /fancy brewpub so they can easily get it. My FHs dad is paying for the RD, so I'm not trying to spend more of someone else's money. Besides, hung over bridesmaids or groomsmen getting ready early? No thanks.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on February 10, 2020 at 11:42 AM
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I think it depends on your crowd! At our rehearsal dinner, my father in law didn't want a full open bar so they did two drink tickets per person which was more than enough for our 2 hour dinner. I've never been to a rehearsal dinner that didn't at least have beer & wine hosted.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 10, 2020 at 11:48 AM
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I didn't get mine booze. We hosted dinner and that did include a regular drink, meal and dessert already
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Super August 2020
Alex · on February 10, 2020 at 4:47 PM
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I would at least serve table wine. Then if someone orders something else, the waiters can say only wine is included.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on February 12, 2020 at 5:58 PM
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Thanks Rachel! After thinking about it, I think you are right – just inviting wedding party and immediate family (and their plus ones) May be the best idea. It will literally cut the number of guests in half, so we could easily afford to pay for all the alcohol. And it prevents turning the rehearsal dinner into a pre-wedding/mini wedding” as another person put it
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Dedicated September 2020
Sabrina · on February 12, 2020 at 7:44 PM
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We aren't doing a rehearsal dinner. Since we're getting married in Maui, but a friend of ours got married last May and they only paid for our food the waiter came around and that's how we ordered our drinks.
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Devoted December 2020
Rachel · on February 12, 2020 at 9:13 PM
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Yes exactly! If it’s in the budget for you to host everyone for 2 dinners (RD and wedding reception) and alcohol at both dinners, then go for it. But it’s not worth the stress IMO of hosting everyone for both!
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Devoted October 2020
Crystal · on February 13, 2020 at 1:38 PM
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I'd make the RD the smallest you can. You don't want to steal the thunder from your wedding.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on February 13, 2020 at 1:39 PM
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This is a very good point that I hadn’t thought of before! I think we will definitely be cutting it to only wedding party, parents, and siblings
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Rehearsal Dinner Booze?

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