When FH sent his mom some rough estimates on guest numbers for my side, food ideas, and timetable for the dinner, she blew up and made it clear that the bride and her family were to have NO part in planning this dinner. To me, it sounds like she wants this to be a party for which she wants to get the credit and praise. She seems to think that I am making decisions and speaking for my fiancé, and that our suggesting that we would like tacos for the dinner was ridiculous due to the two family members on her side who didn't like it. Her idea was fried chicken and southern sides (I have two bridesmaids who are gluten intolerant and dairy intolerant, and we are doing bbq and sides for the reception anyway. Not to mention the bride doesn't like fried chicken).
I know tradition dictates that the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, but is it inappropriate for us to suggest that she get a caterer we like? And to suggest that she NOT worry about decorating our venue since we're already paying our coordinator for that? Our desire is for our families to enjoy the weekend and spend that time with us, and not worrying about setting up for the wedding festivities. What do we do now that she's backed out, and made it clear that she believes I am being disrespectful to her? I do not want to start off our marriage this way, but FH and I are both very upset at her reaction. She will not speak to my FH and hung up on him when he called to clarify his intentions.
