Rehearsal Dinner- Everyone for themselves?

It is tradition for the B&G (or if you are lucky, the groom's parents) to pay for the rehearsal dinner. But that doesn't mean it has to be anything expensive. You can totally order a few pizzas and have it at your house.

The purpose is to thank your wedding party for taking time out of their schedule to attend the rehearsal, so it isn’t really appropriate to have everyone pay. As Danielle said, you can just have pizza and beer or something casual like that.

If you can’t afford to pay for dinner, skip the rehearsal. You don’t “have to spend a ton of money on the wedding,” you’re choosing to. The same for the rehearsal dinner. If you choose to have a rehearsal, then you’re responsible for hosting a meal afterward to thank those in attendance.

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Exactly this. It can be super informal. No alcohol needed so that saves some money.

I totally spaced on a Rehearsal Dinner and started looking into chain restaurants that have private dining rooms. For a buffet dinner it was as low as $18/person, children are half price. Not too bad.

Unpopular opinion here but I see no harm with going to a restaurant and having them choose what they like. Is it nontraditional and considered "rude" yeah, maybe. If you cant afford it then you gotta do what you gotta do! And if they don't want to come don't come, just make sure everyone knows that going into it.

If you skip the rehearsal, you can skip the dinner. Traditionally, the RD is after the rehearsal and is paid, and it's to thank everyone for attending and all their involvement in the wedding since usually immediate family & wedding party puts in more effort than regular wedding guests.

You could consider doing a morning of brunch rehersal. Breakfast/lunch food can be cheaper than dinner, and it would be less formal as well.

The RD is really to thank people for attending your rehearsal and for being such a big part of your day. If you don’t want to pay, don’t have a rehearsal at all. It would be very rude to make everyone go to a rehearsal, then pick a dinner location with no input and then make people pay for themselves.

Is wedding rehearsal an option for the day of the wedding? (If you are having an evening ceremony)

We are getting married at 6pm so we scheduled rehearsal at 10am and are going to order some coffee, pastries, etc or order Panera.

This would save some money.

There is no reason it has to be an expensive big thing! No decorations or fancy venue is needed. I think we are renting out a party room (free) at a pizza place. Super cheap ($200-$500 depending on guest count/alcohol) and can fit many dietary needs.

I would be annoyed if I had to leave work early, go to a mandatory rehearsal, and then was expected to pay for my own dinner after already spending probably $500 on someone else's wedding.

It is a thank you to the individuals that are rehearsing with you. If you don't want to spend the money, skip the rehearsal completely and you don't have to pay for dinner. If you want a rehearsal, pizza and beer at home is fine.

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Would you be fine with people skipping the rehearsal in a situation like this? You can't really require people to rehearse during dinner time (and most likely leave work early) and not feed them.

I am almost positive that if you have a Rehearsal it is tradition for Bride and Groom to pay for it. We are doing menudo and a taco platter for those who don't like menudo. We are also doing it at a party room in a hotel.

Like PPs mentioned, having a rehearsal isn't required! If you do one, then something simple like pizza works fine for the dinner!

I don't even think rehearsal dinner is necessary, but it's nice to do. i am doing one mostly because it's our thank you to the wedding party for their involvement and seemed like a good opportunity for them to get to know each other better

but it can even be something super informal like a potluck or party trays you do in a backyard.

If you have a rehearsal, it’s necessary for you to pay for the rehearsal dinner, as the dinner is supposed to be a thank you to your bridal party for attending the rehearsal. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive... we just did dinner at a restaurant and it was $25 per person. You could also do pizza or sandwiches or something even cheaper. If you choose not to have a rehearsal, you don’t have to pay for dinner! But I’d make it clear in advance then that no one is obligated to come to the dinner. If you make it sound like a wedding event, people will be expecting you to pay and will be off-put when you don’t. We did something like this 2 nights before our wedding... we just texted people who we knew were in town saying “hey, we are going to dinner at x place at 6pm, if you want to meet us there!” That makes it clear that it’s just a meetup and not an event that you’re paying for. And since you’re expecting them to pay, you should make it clear they’re free to decline the invitation

Yeah it’s obligatory that you pay if you have a rehearsal. Now I’ll throw this out here in a passive aggressive manner. We are on a tight budget. I told my WP that there would be no rehearsal or dinner due to funds. Made it clear that was why. Every single one of them offered to pay for themselves. If your WP is bomb like that just a suggestion for some fishing.

We’re in NYC & it’s not unheard of for everybody to pay for themselves. It’s also ok to have rehearsal earlier in the day & go for a brunch or drinks instead of dinner after.
I’ve got some serious backlash from WW forum for saying that last time 😆 so people apparently have strong opinions about this one lol.

We will have a causal dinner at our home after rehearsal. As a guest/BP member, I’d always prefer to pay for my own food, rather than to have to eat some cheap or fast food, because bride & groom couldn’t afford anything better. I’d also prefer to pay vs to put financial stress on a couple who is already tight with money. But maybe that’s just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

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FH was in a wedding and the Bride and Groom chose to do this and everyone showed up without any fuss or hurt feelings. Like most things I think its a know your crowd deal, if these forums have thought me anything is that there is a MASSIVE difference in etiquette between regions.

View Quoted Comment I’m from Philly & it’s not unheard of either - especially if it’s casual. Weddings are expensive, & I’m fine w/ helping out - I don’t want my friend to go in debt. Plus a lot of homes in Philly are small, row homes, so yeah hosting something at ur home sounds great, if you have like 15x ppl max.

My FMIL & FFIL offered to host the RD @ a formal restaurant so that’s what we are doing.