Rehearsal Dinner- Everyone for themselves?

How big is your wedding party?

What about doing something low key like a backyard barbecue, drinks and appetizers, or pizza and beer?

Yes I’m not doing one, but then again I am skipping a wedding party anyway. I’ve seen welcome BBQs hosted by one of the parents that have always been a lot of fun.

View Quoted Comment I’m glad to hear we are not the only ones with “unacceptable” etiquette lol. Maybe it depends on the area, since NYC & Philly are pretty close.

You can do pizza!

....idk I’m in nyc and I’ve never heard of or been to a rehearsal dinner than wasn’t hosted

I think it is traditional for Bride and Groom to pay, BUT it's also "traditional" for parents to pay for wedding. If you're in the same boat as me and my fiancé (which is paying for your own wedding), I think it is fine to have attendees of rehearsal dinner pay for their own. Afterall, we will be paying for the meals (and drinks!) the wedding night.

My mom said we should just have it at an affordable restaurant but I was like that's still pricey. She said well use the money from my fiance's parents. I am like yeah but we need most of that for our venue costs. Ughh we haven't decided yet. If I can find something super affordable otherwise we'll do pizza and pasta catering to someone's house! If you really can't afford it at all with your wedding costs you can skip a rehearsal.

Edit: I have heard of rehearsals at restaurants where the food and non-alcohol is included and if the guests want alcohol they can purchase that themselves. Never heard of the guests paying for their own meal though.

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Yes agreed. I am also looking at doing a buffet style restaurant because tome that is cheaper than everyone picking what food they want LOL.

My uncle's rehearsal dinner was everyone paid for themselves. we are just doing a mini bbq at our house afterwards for ours.

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The fact that you're hosting the wedding is immaterial. If you ask them to attend an additional event - the rehearsal - then you need to host something afterwards. If you don't want to pay for another dinner or can't afford it, then just don't have a rehearsal and you won't have to worry about it. But don't ask your guests to pay for themselves.

Reversal dinner is to thank bridal party for song rehearsal. It can be at your house some one else’s or as simple as pizza, you don’t have to have a rehearsal

Yes. I was married once before and that is exactly what we did. We let our wedding party know that rehearsal would be 30 minutes and afterwards we were going out to eat as a couple. We stated the dinner was not required but if they would like to come and join us it was in them to pay. It was stated more nicely. There was no issues and everyone participated. For this time around we are providing pizza and wings at the venue. We are providing food because the wedding party is coming to help set up and decorate then we are having rehearsal. People will go on and on with etiquette and what not but you have to do what you can afford and what works for you guys

We are doing an extremely casual rehearsal dinner. My favorite Italian restaurant for apps, salads and pizza. It’s BYOB so we will have some beer/wine. There is a liquor store right across the street if anyone wants something different. Low key and fairly inexpensive compared to what it could be.

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Actually, I don't. But thanks for your input

Obviously if we all get together for a rehearsal, we would probably all go to dinner afterwards anyway. Regardless if it was scheduled ahead or not.

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Not including the out of town guests probably 30 people?

We're having it in my mom's big beautiful backyard, having a few people bring chairs, and then getting sandwiches and apps from a drop-off caterer

I am glad that I am not having a bridal party.....

Instead of going to a restaurant, our families our very laid back. We’re having a cookout and fh family is providing everything. Everyone won’t feel like they have to stay late, they can leave as they please we will have a bon fire for the people want to stay. it’s like a pre celebration. And me and a bridesmaid are going over early to help prep everything

I’m having my rehearsal in my grandmother’s big backyard. Then, we are just grilling. We spent a lot of money on the actual wedding, and didn’t feel the need to do something special for the rehearsal.