Rehearsal dinner guest list

I agree ^^. We were originally going to invite wedding party w/ their dates, family, and out of towners, but that made up about 90% of our guest list and was practically another reception. We have opted for only wedding party w/ their dates, family, and close family friends that are like family.

We will most likely have a meetup for drinks in the hotel lobby for everyone to join in the evening for everyone to mingle. I've been to weddings out of town where we were not invited to the rehearsal dinner and it didn't bother me!

I agree with PP. We are inviting the wedding party, their SOs and kids, and family. We are going to meet up with all the out of town guests (mainly FH's family) at the bar that is at the same place as the rehearsal dinner place.

We won't be inviting out of town guests. Just the bridal party and their plus ones, our parents and siblings, and my grandma and her husband.

I think you can skip extended family & out of town guests for the rehearsal dinner. But I would include wedding party significant others, it's rude not to. Personally if my husband wasn't invited to a rehearsal dinner and I was in the wedding, I wouldn't go to the rehearsal dinner. We had 19 people in our wedding party and 70 people at our rehearsal dinner, we included extended family & out of state guests. Yeah it was expensive but that's one of the things you have to consider before deciding to have a large wedding party.

No, it's not rude to not want to pay for essentially two receptions. Traditionally, the RD was only the people directly involved in the wedding: i.e., bride, groom, bridesmaids and groomsmen. Then over time, it became more of a tradition to invite the immediate families of the bride and groom as well; then the SOs of the wedding party got added. But that's where I draw the line, actually. Out of town guests know that they are coming from out of town, and I don't think that most are expecting a second party to attend beyond the wedding. The wedding is the reason they traveled, so you don't have to worry about not inviting them to the rehearsal dinner.

Having said all that, I actually really agree with Gen here. For such a large wedding party, I would keep it to B&G, B&G's parents, and wedding party. The RD itself is really a thank you to your wedding party for participating in your special day. It shouldn't include everyone else.

We're in the same boat. We have 11 on each side of the BP, and with plus ones JUST the bridal party was over 50. In addition to BP we only invited IMMEDIATE family and our guest list was 65. We definitely prioritized plus ones of the BP over out of town guests.

We invited our bridal party, their SO's, our parents, and grandparents. That was it. I think that is completely acceptable and what is expected. Inviting out of town guests isn't expected or completely necessary considering the size of your party already.

I think it is nice to invite out of town guests, but not required. Since you have such a large bridal party, I think it is fine that you just invite your immediate families and the bridal party, but not their SO's.

I am entertaining the idea of doing this as well, since a friend of ours just did this for their wedding. I think if you are up-front and honest about the cost involved with having potentially 21+ additional people your reasoning will be respected. Really, a rehearsal dinner is basically a meeting about the following day. It is no different than when my fiancé is not invited to all of my work meeting dinners.

I would not sweat it. Do what feels right and have an open line of communication. Communicate it early on, so that people do not make plans and get slapped in the face with all of this the week of the wedding and get offended. Maybe even blame it on wanting to have a more "intimate" evening with everyone who is directly involved with the wedding. Don't let other posters taint your idea of what you want and what works best for you and your fiancé. It's 2019 - you do not have to do everything by the book.

We have a rather large bridal party as well. Originally FH wanted to invite the bridal party and their SOs, immediate family, and extended family (aunts, uncles, and cousins). I quickly vetoed the extended family due to cost. He has 7 aunts and uncles all of whom have at least 2 if not 3 children. We'll be around the 45 number with our 8 BM/GM, their SOs, ushers, parents, and grandparents to keep our costs lower.