Hi all, I've read through a bit of rehearsal dinner etiquette but just wanted some opinions on our dilemma. We married last year on paper but pushed back the wedding + reception to this year due to COVID. We plan on inviting immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents, and their SOs), wedding parties + SOs, our officiant + wife, and most likely our wedding coordinator as well.
Now the difficult part is deciding if we want to include other family members. My husband's paternal aunt and uncle moved states last year and now lives 10 minutes away, and even though his parents aren't extremely close to them, they still visit regularly. Whereas before they seldom saw each other and were not close. Since our wedding last year was postponed, his parents and aunt and uncle threw us an intimate celebration at aunt + uncle's house (and had decorations, professional photographer, cake, food, etc...)! So I feel very grateful and indebted to them, and we got them (aunt + uncle) a nice wedding photobook along with our parents. They have children but neither are married or dating, so I sometimes feel they live vicariously through us. Because of this, I would love for them to be at the rehearsal dinner.
But it opens up a can of worms. What about his aunt + uncle's children? Are they invited too, even though we don't know them? My aunt and uncle (+ 2 cousins) are from out of state and they're the only family we have in the US so I would want to invite them as well, if we invite his aunt and uncle. But then we need to consider MIL's estranged sibling + their family, as well as husband's other cousins who he and his parents don't talk to at all and I've never met even though they live 10 minutes away. (Their mom is MIL's sister but she's divorced and not living in the US and won't be back for the wedding). I'm afraid MIL might feel like her side of the family is being neglected (even though she doesn't have much contact with them) if we choose to only invite my aunt + uncle's family and his (paternal) aunt + uncle's family.
Should we just not invite the aunts and uncles at all?