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Tory
Devoted May 2022

Rehearsal dinner

Tory, on February 1, 2021 at 5:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 24
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Hey everyone, so I’ve been receiving a lot of conflicting opinions on this topic and wanted opinions from those who are specifically planning their weddings and what they plan on doing/what they’ve done in the past. Should +1’s of the bridal parties be invited to the rehearsal dinner? Part of me wants them to come because it would be respectful to invite the people closest to our close friends, especially since we are planning on doing a destination wedding but the other part of me wants it to be more intimate between just our closest friends and family members, and a lot of our bridal/grooms party +1’s are fairly new relationships that we don’t know too well. My other concern is that a lot of the +1’s are extremely introverted, and I feel that they may be uncomfortable being around all of our family members they don’t know/would enjoy spending alone time at the hotel instead. Should I extend the invite to everyone anyway and they can decide whether or not to come, or should I limit it to just the bridal parties and family? Thank you guys!

24 Comments

Latest activity by Chelsea, on February 2, 2021 at 12:48 PM
  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
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    Yes, they should be invited. Especially for a destination wedding. That means their significant others/plus ones are traveling for your wedding and will be there the day(s) before. What do you think they should do by themselves while your bridal party is at the rehearsal dinner? I’m assuming most of these plus ones/significant others won’t know anyone else at the wedding. They’re in a location away from home. So not like they can just make plans with friends. They’ll either be left at the hotel by themselves or eating dinner alone. That kind of sucks.
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  • Gbees4121
    Dedicated October 2021
    Gbees4121 ·
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    Hi Tory!
    I plan to extend the invite to my bridal parties' +1s, even if I don't know them well/at all. I think it's a nice gesture since they're being apart of your big day and their +1 is important to them! Although you love all of your bridal party, they may feel more comfortable with their +1 there too, especially if it's a destination event. I definitely know what you mean though, I'd be happy as a clam to sit out on a rehearsal dinner of my significant other's friend/with people I barely know. They might take it as rude if they aren't invited though Smiley sad

    If you aren't keen on inviting them, you could always have a welcome party after to include the +1s. Good luck! Smiley smile
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I get what you’re saying and I agree, but you just have to trust me when I say some of my friends boyfriends would 100% rather sit in the hotel and play video games or watch TV to themselves. I’m not trying to be rude by excluding anyone, but I’m just trying to not put them in uncomfortable social situations unless they want to be. A trend that I’ve noticed is that the bridesmaids with introverted boyfriends have said not to invite the +1’s, and the ones with extroverted ones have said that you should. That’s why I was considering just giving the option to everyone and letting them decide for themselves without the pressure of having to attend
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    Invite them and they can come if they want. If they’d rather chill by themselves they can do that too.
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    Thank you! I’ll probably just extend the invite to everyone and let them pick if they would like to join or not☺️
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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    Definitely invite them! I'm inviting my bridal party's plus ones to my rehearsal luncheon and every rehearsal meal I've been to the plus ones were invited. It would come off a little rude and awkward if you didn't because they would have nothing to do during that period of time since the only person they know is the person they came with.
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  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
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    Totally understand. I would just invite them anyway so it’s on them to accept or decline. That way it doesn’t look rude on your end and you don’t end up offending anyone!
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  • B
    Savvy April 2023
    Bri ·
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    If plus ones are invited to the wedding, they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner too.
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    Invite the plus 1s. Imagine if you were invited to a destination wedding for your FH's friend and you were forced to spend that night by yourself in an unfamiliar place. If the introverted one don't want to come, they can always decline the invite.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    The only ones typically invited are significant others of the attendants, not random strangers or out of the area family. It's also usually a lowkey pizza and sodas meals.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    First off, plus ones are for people that are single. Someone in a relationship isn't considered a plus one. They are now a social unit and should be invited to all events as such. If they decide not to attend then that's fine, but they should definitely be included.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    My situation is different. We are having a backyard wedding at the house and also having the rehearsal at the house as well. My bridesmaids are my mom, my sister in law, and my 2 other bridesmaids are girlfriend to my other brothers. So I don't have to worry about +1s. But I think for a destination wedding it wouldn't be a bad idea to extend the invitation to the plus ones as well.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Definitely invite them. If you don’t extend that invitation, feelings will get hurt (even if the +1’s would rather stay at the hotel). Etiquette dictates the invite goes to both.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Veronica is correct. These people are not plus ones if they're significant others. Significant others are a package deal and should definitely be included, especially for a destination wedding.

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Def. extend the invite to include plus ones! Those in relationships, regardless of the length of the relationship, are allowed to bring their SO with them.
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  • Cristina
    Dedicated December 2021
    Cristina ·
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    Maybe when you extend the invite do it in a way that they do not feel obligated to attend. Such as maybe adding a note that this event is mandatory for the bridal party.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    It's completely up to you. Good advice I've received is don't invite anyone to the wedding who you wouldn't treat to dinner....
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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Invite them. Especially for a destination wedding. If they don’t want to come they can stay at the hotel, it’s rude to expect them to be without their partner for the night not in their hometown.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Yes, bridal party plus ones should absolutely be invited to the rehearsal dinner. We invited all bridal party and family members plus ones in ours. It is the right thing to do.

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  • Kristen
    Expert October 2021
    Kristen ·
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    We were going to and still plan to allow bridal party members to bring a +1 to the rehearsal dinner. Lucky for us, most of our bridal party members are also immediate family, so their +1s are a given. Our bigger problem, other than ultimately having to postpone, was that FH's parents are divorced and remarried, and his dad is pretty much the most hated man on the planet by most of the women on his mom's side, particularly his two sisters. Stepmom doesn't fare much better, seeing as FH's dad left his mom for her. My future MIL asked FH to tell his dad that maybe it'd be best if they didn't come to the rehearsal dinner, for the sake of keeping the drama down, but they could be involved in anything else. His dad completely flipped out at that. Immediately after that, though, we ended up deciding to postpone, so while his dad still has yet to apologize for some rather unpleasant things he said to us, the topic hasn't been readdressed.

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