I'm getting so stressed about the rehearsal that I just want to chuck the whole thing. Everyone has had a complaint about it, and I feel like I'm forcing a square peg into a round hole, and I'm just not sure its worth it.
Our ceremony/reception is all at the same venue on a Saturday night. Because they do weddings almost every day, they can't guarantee it will be available the night before (Friday) to do a rehearsal. And even if it is empty, there's extra fees to have someone there to walk through it with you. There's obviously not much to walking down the aisle, but we have a friend officiating, and I would have liked to give him a chance to run through, plus I was hoping to give the kids (my 7 year old flower girl and 4 year old ring bearer) a chance to see and get used to the setup.
So if can't be at the venue, I figured we would plan a dinner, and if we booked a private room in a restaurant, we could do a quick run through there. Additionally, I was planning to give our bridal party and parent gifts at the dinner, and be able to say our thank yous to our VIPs.
I really wanted to keep the dinner small...strictly bridal party, which is basically all of our immediate families, plus our officiant friend and his wife, and my one college friend bridesmaid and her husband. A grand total of 21 people. The wedding itself isn't huge, probably just over 100 people Saturday night, then we're doing brunch for anyone staying in the hotel block on Sunday morning.
Just for reference, the wedding location is about an hour to an hour and a half from home for just about all of us. We have a hotel block up there. The girls and I have to be at the venue for HMUA between 10-11 on Saturday. The boys have to be at the venue dressed for pictures around 1. The boys also have to pick up their suit rentals up there (5 minutes from the hotel) either Friday night or Saturday morning. My mom, sister, bridesmaid, officiant and FH's parents already have hotel rooms booked for Friday night anyway.
So everyone's complaints?
FH parents - offered to pay for the dinner, but don't really understand how its a rehearsal if we're not going to the venue. Also, they wouldn't want to go to the venue Friday night anyway because its about 20 minutes from the hotel block
FH's brother - completely baffled that there was also something to do on Friday night (regardless that we can't go to the venue, which he doesn't even know about, isn't some kind of rehearsal something the night before kind of a given? I digress)
My mother - one of her friends is flying in for the wedding, SC to NY and arriving Friday. Insists I must invite her and her whole family (6 people), otherwise maybe she (mom) would just go have dinner with them herself. I really didn't want to get into a huge welcome dinner event...my sister did that because all of her husbands' family came in from the midwest, and the weekend just felt like a wedding 3 times (welcome, wedding, brunch). Plus then I feel like we're not having the time we wanted with our VIPs
FH - will do whatever I want, and doesn't like that I'm all stressed about this, but would be perfectly happy just hanging out and having a low-key night on Friday
Too much info? Sorry, I've just been going around in circles on this whole thing for a couple of weeks now, and not making any progress. Do I need a rehearsal? Do I need a rehearsal dinner? Do I have to make it a welcome dinner for anyone/everyone travelling? Should I try to do rehearsal in our hotel somehow, and let people do what they want for dinner? Can I skip it all and just have wine for dinner by myself?
