Relationship Advice: Calling all Fanfiction Readers

Hmmm. Is it possible to maybe bring up conversation like "Hey, I was reading this thing earlier and it's about this and this. I thought it was interesting, what do you think?" And gauge how he'll react? I can't imagine that he should even care at all if he's not homophobic.

Just tell him it's fanfiction... I'm a little confused as to why you're this nervous telling him you read...it's really a non issue. It's not any different than reading a book.

I read fanfiction all the time, FH could care less.

I used to be really into Fanfic. I was actually a Beta at some point because I love to read and write stories. Personally, I think you might be looking too deep into it. It's just a reading genre. You don't have to go into the type of stories that you read. Just disclose that you enjoy reading Fanfic and I'm sure he'll just say "cool." Do you usually discuss the books that you read with him? Are you looking to share this world with him? If so, I'm sure he'll accept it. Back in the day, I would read full chapters to FH. Especially the kinky stuff. He would get so annoyed lol.

Agree with @Kate.

I feel like any "normal" person wouldn't care...

It's not like you're actively role-playing these fanfics. I think you're good.

I guess I'm less concerned about it being fanfiction and more concerned that it's fanfiction that takes normally straight characters and makes them gay. Again, I know FH isn't homophobic, but I am a heterosexual female. I'm nervous that he'll think I'm weird, or something.

I just want to know if someone has had a similar experience of going through this so that I can gather my lady balls and tell him.

It sounds like it's more an issue about how you feel about yourself. If you feel there's nothing wrong with reading it, then there should be no reason to anticipate that your FH wouldn't feel the same.

I guess I don't know what fan fiction is but I think it's super strange to be hiding something (anything) from your FH. Has he been judgmental or given you reason to be afraid to open up before?

I agree that it seems more of a personal issue with it. I'm also a heterosexual female, would most likely never experiment with another female in my life, but I do enjoy watching or reading homosexual relationships. I'll mention it to FH from time to time but he doesn't think that I may leave him for a woman or something. We all have our quirks that we love to indulge in but it doesn't mean that it defines who we are outside of those mediums.

Thanks. I don't know why I'm so nervous about it. This has helped me realize it's my own insecurity holding me back.

I read fan fiction and fandom headcanons on blogs all the time. Like Kate said, my conversations are very similar to her example. Or sometimes I get REALLY excited about my fandoms or about a certain piece of writing and tell my fiance about it, even the non hetero- normative stuff. If your FH's a little bit into video games and stuff, he might even understand fandoms and shipping, including the homosexual content that often comes with it. I think it'll be fine when you bring it up.

FH is kind of an anomaly. He is your stereotypical frat-boy bro that is in to sports and happens to play video games. He's not particularly nerdy. Like, it's my new life-goal to slowly ease him into anime. He is also from a very conservative family, so I don't know how he ended up being so liberally minded. He also is fairly shy about sexuality and kinks. Like, he's never even been in an adult shop before. I guess I've just spend so long hiding this about myself that I've let it become this dirty secret that I feel like I need to cover up, when really it's not that big of a deal?

Tell him you've kept it a secret long enough let it out!! Just kidding do what feels comfortable. I'm not forcing you to do anything lol just wanted to lighten the mood.

Don't be too hard on yourself or scared. He might not even care, especially if he's playing a video game. Oh! Tell him while he's video gaming lol

And if he thinks you're too weird then there's a bigger picture on your hands.

Nah, it's honestly not really a big deal. I remember when I was afraid of telling FH about my actual kinks in the bedroom. He didn't seem like the type to engage in stuff that I enjoy but I expressed that I wanted to try it out and because he loves me, he gave it a shot. Of course, that's different from reading but I would imagine that since he wouldn't have to have an active role if he's uncomfortable, it shouldn't bother him much if at all. Take the time to work up the courage but just know that you're putting too much thought into it and you'll feel relieved that now your FH knows you on a deeper level since you were able to open it up to him

You're getting married in less than a month. If it's bothering you that he doesn't know, then you should tell him. He may not care to even know what fanfic is, but if he wants to know more, just tell him more. I can understand sexuality being difficult to talk about with someone who was raised fairly conservative but he should know (and want to know) what you enjoy. You never know, he may be into some things you weren't expecting either.

If it helps, are there any friends you both hang out with who also read some of the same fanfic you do? I have found that sometimes that's a good ice breaker for personal conversations you may difficulty beginning. Say your friend mentions something about a story she read and you talk to her about it while FH is there. He may ask about it later on and you can then talk openly about it.

Katelyn: That's a great idea! I wish that were the case. The only friend I know that reads fanfiction is one friend that FH hasn't met yet...

I'm going to take everyone's advice and just tell him it's fanfiction the next time he brings it up. We just went to Harry Potter World so I've been in a huge HP mood lately. At least he'll know which character's I'm talking about and not be lost in that respect.

Definitely don't be embarrassed about the sexuality of it. When FH and I watch "stuff" together, he knows I like to watch two girls, one guy. Would I ever actually want it in reality? Nope. It's just what I like to watch. I'm not saying Fanfic is the same as porn, just that it's ok to be interested in it even though you're heterosexual.

I had no idea what Fanfic was, I had to google. Sounds so interesting! I would just tell him I think you are creating a scenario of him being turned off and it hasn't even happened yet.

Kate: I just finished a fanfic where it's an alternative Book 7 where Draco Malfoy defects from the Death Eaters and ends up helping Harry with horcrux hunting, called Temptation on the Warfront. The characterization is on-point. I highly recommend it.

FH knows that I read Fanfiction and am pretty actively involved in the fandom on Tumblr. I was nervous to tell him at first but it wasn't too long in to dating that I just told him straight up 'look i really enjoy this and its kind of a personal thing so i dont need you to be involved but i want you to know!' he has been very sweet about it, even if he does tease me about it light heartedly sometimes.

I say just tell him, its not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Just tell him its something you have wanted to tell him about but didn't know quite how to because its a vulnerable spot for you.