Relationship Milestones: Moving In Together

I'm reading all of your comments with strong interest. My FH lives many states away. We met online and have been long distance our entire relationship. We're looking for a house virtually as he's moving to my state; his job is completely remote. I do worry sometimes if our marriage will change once we live together because we've never lived together before. My 1st marriage was similar. We didn't move in together until 2 weeks after marrying. It was a big adjustment but I was also 10 years younger.

Wow, @Sweetness. Glad to also meet someone who is long distance as well.

Our plans are to get a place to live at least 1-2 months before the wedding (so May-June), but I still won't be officially moving in until after we get married in July. We've stayed the night together a few times, most times at his house so I pretty much have seen how he lives. I've lived with 2 different exes and determined moving into together before marriage isn't really my thing. FH lives at least an hour and a half away from me so until we get married, we've promised to make efforts to see each other at least once a week.

He's in Arizona, and I'm currently in Ireland. I'm a British citizen, so I'll be moving back to England before we close the distance. Then we have visas to deal with for the next 5 years. It'll be so much fun!

And by fun, I mean expensive and stressful.

Honestly, I think living together will be the least of our worries. I've lived with partners before, and in only one of those cases was it bad, as he was an abusive alcoholic. But I've never had difficulty living alongside others. I adapt easily.

When I do move back, FH will visit me and I'll make a point of getting things together and encourage him to leave things with me, so it feels like a second home to him and eases the stress.

Not to be completely off-topic, but how's it looking over there in terms of the virus? We have our honeymoon scheduled for Ireland, Scotland, and England at the end of July, but anticipate that it's more than likely going to be postponed until next summer.

I'm probably the wrong person to ask. Every week brings conflicting headlines on numbers of cases, tests, and deaths. They've said that international flights aren't looking good this year. But realistically, they have to reopen or all the airlines will collapse. It sounds like the covid version of flying will be a headache from what they've mentioned so far. We can only hope they implement sensible and minimally invasive procedures really. I can't say I'm looking forward to my next flight to Arizona. But I'll endure anything to hold my fiance again.

As an add on, my above response was based on what I'm witnessing here for Ireland. I don't follow what's happening in England to be honest. But perhaps I should if I want to fly through there next time. I think I may just change in America in future, if I can.

It's strange. My fiance and I have never "lived together" officially but when he worked in town he'd stay with me for months at a time. I guess this is why I am excited for us to actually move into a place that is not mines or his but "ours". I'm excited for to see how we work out our shared space together as we move away from the "here's a drawer at my place" scenarios.

I have been married before so I have lived with a partner but it was over 15 years ago so I am fairly excited. I think with our ages it brings about a certain maturity that I did not have before so everything feels so new. I love it!

My advice to you...ENJOY EVERY MOMENT!

So we didn't live together immediately when we got engaged because I was still in college (I was 1 semester away from graduating, and my husband was a year ahead of me so he already graduated). We were planning to move in together after I graduated because I wanted to live on campus my senior year... but then my roommate ended up being from hell (long story lol) and I moved back home with my mom in October because I couldn't take living with this girl anymore (my mom only lived 25 mins off campus so I just commuted for the rest of the year). So my husband was living with a roommate, in an apartment that he had chosen in part because it was less than 10 mins from my apartment at school. But then since I wasn't living at school anymore, it was like 45 mins from my mom's house so we ended up being super far. But since we wanted to spend most of our time together (especially after we got engaged) he ended up coming to see me pretty much every day after work, and he'd stay over at my mom's with me from Friday night through Monday morning lol. We ended up referring to his apartment as "the really expensive closet" because he spent so little time there but was still paying rent, which was silly.

So even after I graduated I couldn't afford to move out right away (I wanted to have a little more savings) but it was stupid for him to keep paying rent since he practically lived with us already, so over the summer (about 6 months after we got engaged, and a little less than a year before our wedding) he moved in with me and my family. We planned on moving out before the wedding, and even started scouting some places the following spring, but wedding planning/moving at the same time was SO STRESSFUL so we just gave up and decided to relax, plan the wedding, and couldn't hurt to save up for a few more months. We started out married life still living with my family... which I wasn't thrilled about, but grand scheme it really didn't make a difference, and it was so nice to not have the stress of moving along with the wedding! We ended up moving into our own place about 2 months after we got married

SO tldr lol we did live together for a year before we got married, but it actually felt more like a year and a half, BUT we didn't live alone-together until after we were married

Truth? There is no right or wrong time to move in with someone.

My fiance moved in with me within the month of us dating - which is super crazy and not like me at all. But when its right, its right!

Living together has been a HUGE test to our relationship, especially during the shelter in place. I figure if we can survive this, we can survive anything haha! I say do it!

Good luck m'lady! And best wishes to you on your special day!

You know you're meant to be together ounce you've lived together. @_@

We moved in together about 9 months into the relationship. i know it probably won't sound so romantic or whatever, but we were both married previously, and we were at that point in our lives where we didn't want to waste any time. he's a truck driver, so he is only home 34 hours a week and we spent all his home time together, with my 2 daughters, visiting his parents and siblings. we had date nights and family time every time he was home...it didn't make sense to keep paying to rent 2 houses and constantly trying to remember if the thing we were looking was at the house we were staying in that weekend or the other one LOL

actually, this coming Monday, Memorial day, will be 1 year officially under the same roof.

We were living together years before getting engaged. I couldn't marry someone I hadn't lived with for awhile already. We met when I was 16, moved in together when I was 19/20 and then got engaged 3 years later! Everybody always told us "oh you'll learn a lot more about each other after moving in" implying it could drive us apart, but literally nothing changed lol you just get closer!

My fiancé and I lived together for about a year and a half before he proposed and we don't regret it at all! I think it's so important to see how the other person lives and if you can accommodate one another. My fiancé and I are literal best friends and are pretty similar to one another, so living together hasn't been too difficult. I've learned things about him though that I probably wouldn't have known otherwise, such as how we clean and organize our apartment (he's not much of a cleaner), and we've been able to learn from each other and grow closer since we've moved in together.

We have lived together for awhile and I feel like it has added value to our relationship. I'm not going to lie and say there aren't days when I want him to go somewhere because he has pissed me off. The reality is that living together and being Married this comes with the territory. And we pretty much do separate things sometimes with friends so we do get breathers.

My fiancé and I dated for 7 years before getting engaged. We have lived together for 6 of the 7 years. I would not change anything! I feel you learn a LOT from living with your significant other and really learn to share responsibilities of housework. I have had roommates in the past (male and female-strictly friends) and you learn how to live with others but it was different knowing that with a roommate you can "get rid of them" once the lease is up - not an ideal option once your married

My fiancé and I started dating in 2012, and moved in with one another in 2015, it was more feasible living with one another in college. We had a two bedroom at the time and each had our own room so we had our own space. I was really nervous about living with one another especially while juggling school. After he graduated we lived apart for a year while I was in graduate school. We have lived with one another for the last two years actually sharing a room and have been quarantined with one another for the last two months. Honestly there is no one else on the entire planet that I would rather spend 24 hours with haha it has been so fun actually being able to spend quality time with one another.

We didn't wait until close to being married to move in with one another, but like many people that have replied, I feel like it was a really great opportunity to see how we would actually operate a household together once we were married. And luckily it all worked out 💕

It is of course going to be a little bit of a challenge trying to start a new beginning during a global pandemic but just take it one day at a time, be patient, have open conversations and you'll be fine. ☺️

I personally could never agree to marry someone without living with them first. My husband and I moved in together after about 10 months of dating, and lived together for a solid 3+ years before we were engaged. I've had plenty of different roommates and living arrangements over the years and there is so much you truly don't learn about a person until you live with them.