Sorry for this being a long one, I’m pretty emotional.
So my parents are both heavily Christian, and I was raised the same. This left me with a lot of religious trauma, and me and them have a mediocre relationship in part due to this. I really want them to be a part of my life, but I have to cater to them and be careful around them in order to have that. If I’m open about my beliefs or lifestyle, I would lose what little connection we have left.
That being said, I’m getting married in 2 weeks and I’m trying to have them as involved as possible. Mom helping with the dress, dad is walking me down the aisle but not giving me away, that sort of thing. My dad is planning on giving a toast at the reception, and this is where it gets tricky.
I’m a pagan. Me and my almost husband (also an ex Christian) are having a handfasting but a very, very toned down one so that my beliefs are vaguely part of the day but not disruptive to our Christian families. I literally cannot stress how much of my time, both with the wedding and in life in general, is spent trying to not upset my parents so we can still have some sort of relationship.
That being said, my father intends to mention the Christian god in his toast, maybe a bible verse or something. He was pretty vague. I very gently asked him if he could not bring religion into it, and he said if he can’t even mention god he won’t do a toast.
I have no idea what to do. I feel like on this one day I deserve to not have to hear about god. Every time the subject comes up I feel like I’m reminded of how hard I have to work to earn my parents love, and how I still don’t really feel like I have a family with them. I don’t want to be thinking those kinds of thoughts on my wedding day of all days.
But if I don’t let him say what he wants, he and my mom will be really angry at me for what they will see as me not letting him be a part of the day. To be honest, there’s a possibility if I don’t let him do what he wants they won’t come.
So tl;dr, do I suck it up and deal with religious trauma on my wedding day or do I risk my parents either pouting the whole time or not coming at all?
Post content has been hidden
To unblock this content, please click here
Related articles
![8 Tips for Giving the Best Wedding Toast EVER](https://cdn0.weddingwire.com/articles/images/2/6/1/1/img_21162/tb_toasts-kathryn-white-photography.jpg)
Speeches & Traditions
8 Tips for Giving the Best Wedding Toast EVER
We’ve got some tips and tricks to help you give a killer toast that will have...