Religious parents

I think it's disrespectful of them to expect you and your FH to go against your beliefs in order to appease them. Not to mention if you aren't religious, it's kind of like lying to the church who is marrying you. I would try to explain that while you respect their beliefs and understand why they would want you to marry in the church, they need to respect your and your FH beliefs which do not include organized religion.

“I know that your religion is important to you, but we have decided this is what’s best for us”

Tell them exactly what you said on here, that you aren’t comfortable with that and it doesn’t represent your beliefs. It’s not their wedding, and even though they think they mean well, it’s not what you want. No is a complete sentence.

I would, with your fiance, tell them straight up this is what you want and you are grateful for their support. Don't ask them, tell them. Another tip: be prepared to foot the entire the bill yourself (in other words, keep it small and simple) as we have all heard horror stories of parents using money as a carrot to get their kids to have the wedding THEY want. I am not saying your folks will be like that, I am just asking you to be prepared.

To ask someone to take part in a religious ceremony when it is not in their heart to do so is wrong. My mom in law had a few grumbles about us not getting married in front of a minister but she is alive and well and quite happy we are married!!!

Are they paying for your wedding? If not, they really don't get any say. If they are, you may be in trouble.

If you would like to compromise, you can still have a priest officiate, or you can include some readings or a prayer.

Thanks everyone! This is exactly what I needed to hear. We booked our officiant who does interfaith weddings and we explained to her how we come from different backgrounds and have different religions. We are willing to have an opening prayer before the ceremony so both families feel included. The wedding is about us and we should have it the way in which we envision it to be. I greatly appreciate everyone's responses!

The Catholic church would agree with you, not them. Our priest doesn't want to marry couples that aren't practicing Catholics and often refuses. Its a sacrament, something to take very seriously.

If parents are religious and observant, go to their priest, and ask him to kindly explain that if a B and G aren't observant and in their hearts do not want to marry in the Church deep in their heart, no priest including himself would do the ceremony if asked. Hearing it from the priest can cut any struggle over this with your parents. It is cut and dried.

Getting married can be tough because depending on your age and your experiences it may be one of the first times you're really setting boundaries with your parents. You got some great advice. You will need to learn how YOU can feel confident and comfortable respectfully setting boundaries with your parents. Otherwise this will come up for so many more issues (what about if you have kids and how you want to raise them?) throughout your lives together. I'm glad you're sticking to your guns about what is important to you and your fiance for your wedding ceremony.