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Just Said Yes October 2022

Representation In Forms Lgtbq+

Alexandra, on September 22, 2022 at 8:24 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 8

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As the Wday (Wedding) is fast approaching all of the remainder vendor forms are being signed. The one thing that I am really tired of is the standard Bride/Groom on all the forms. Every time I have to cross out groom and put Bride there as well.

All of my vendors are LGBTQ+ friendly and accommodating except when it comes to their forms. At this point it’s nitpicking but it definitely has becoming a nuisance since I have to scratch out their entire forms.
Anyone else experienced this same issue? How do you (politely) bring up the topic to please have an inclusive form with the vendors… where it doesn’t look like you’ve hit bridezilla mode??

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Andrew, on September 26, 2022 at 10:56 AM

VIP July 2017
Becky · on September 22, 2022 at 8:37 AM
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That would be frustrating. Perhaps, after the wedding (which I realize doesn't help you, but will benefit others) you could contact your vendors with a "hey, y'all did a fantastic job (blah, blah, blah), and we appreciated your being lgbtq+ friendly - but . . . " and outline your frustration. You could even suggest that they have it as bride/groom and have people circle it/choose it from a dropdown online menu?
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Master July 2022
Imani · on September 22, 2022 at 8:56 AM
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I think just telling them out front. Hey, it would be ideal if you all had forms that are inclusive with all couple types. Especially now, I assume most places haven’t gotten to that point yet. I think it’ll be a great idea to bring it to their attention. It could be a learning opportunity for them.
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Devoted October 2022
Brittany · on September 22, 2022 at 11:58 AM
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Agreed that it would be great to mention it to them. Since they are all reportedly LGBTQ+ inclusive, not having inclusive forms is probably just an oversight and something no one has pointed out to them.
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Dedicated December 2023
Marlee · on September 22, 2022 at 12:20 PM
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I agree with those who've said to just calmly mention it. Definitely doesn't make you a bridezilla.
I've experienced a bit of this too. I've actually had one potential vendor (didn't hire her) straight-up say that clearly I'm the bride and my FW is the groom, since I'm doing the bulk of the planning... unfortunately, sometimes a vendor claims to be "lgbtq friendly" without actually making an effort to be inclusive.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on September 22, 2022 at 8:39 PM
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Wow, that's just...I have no words for that.
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Devoted January 2023
Caitlin · on September 23, 2022 at 10:34 AM
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Mention it!! It they really are inclusive, they will appreciate the heads up. You can put it very kindly- saying hey I really love how inclusive you are with lgbtiq+ couples and one additional thing you could do to further make these couples feel welcome and supported would be to change bride/groom to partner 1 and partner 2 or some other non gendered terms! I've had people mention this within my own counseling forms since I used a premed one and it was such a helpful heads up to go and check to change this!
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Beginner October 2016
Andrew · on September 26, 2022 at 10:48 AM
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Uuugh. The sad thing is this crap isn't even rare nor do they think theyve said anything wrong.
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Beginner October 2016
Andrew · on September 26, 2022 at 10:56 AM
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Definitely say something. It's clearly an industry standard and they don't mean to be offensive or anything, but if they can't be understanding with this criticism then they aren't really lgbt friendly are they?
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