Rethinking plans

My fiancé and I got engaged this January and we are marrying August 20, 2022. We live in Maine, which is a tourism-heavy state and a popular place for destination weddings. Because of this and the COVID wedding boom, we had to secure our venue and main vendors (such as photographer and DJ) as early as possible. We are financing every piece of this wedding 100% ourselves.
Going into this, our original plan was to either elope or have a micro wedding. We decided to go with a Friday to take advantage of weekday discounts. Everything was going great until I shared our plans with my mom. This was a few months into the engagement and she had remained largely apathetic and disinterested-- I didn't even get a congratulations or well wishes-- until I mentioned that I would only be inviting immediate family and close friends. She was incredibly angry and upset at this because this meant her sisters wouldn't be invited. She herself has never had a good relationship with them, and I never hear from them and only see them once every 2 or 3 holiday seasons, despite the fact that they live 30 minutes away from me. She then told my grandmother who got all riled up. They both decided that I was being selfish, rude, and that my choice would only cause drama within the family, and they would "end up having to deal with the fall-out." We went back and forth for a bit before I conceded and said I would invite my aunts and their husbands. This ended up creating a larger problem for me because my dad's side of the family is enormous, and I see my aunts, uncles, and cousins on that side quite a bit, and I knew they would have their feelings hurt if I invited family I barely knew over them. Additionally, my parents had an awful, messy divorce about 5 years ago, and both sides of the family hate each other (and by that I mean actual death threats and wishes have been made many a time) and I've been having people on both sides express to me their displeasure at having to be in the same area as certain people. Against my better judgement, things snowballed and my fiance and I ended up booking a venue and vendors to accommodate a wedding of 100+ guests.
I want to reiterate that we are both financially 100% on our own. The only person aside from a few of my friends who has expressed any desire to help with anything at all is my dad. Everyone else in the family, despite having so many opinions on what I should do and who I should and shouldn't invite, just want to show up, eat, and go home. We're on our own for every single thing.All this being said, I'm at the point already where I feel like the path we're on is one that will only lead to disaster and further disappointment. We have already spent over $4K on venue and vendor deposits. For this reason, I feel like we should continue with the plans and follow through with the big ceremony and reception. But the other part of me says to just eat the cost and save the rest of our money to elope without anyone who's going to make me feel bad and then have the money left over for a real honeymoon. My fiancé is on board with eloping especially after seeing what I've been dealing with in my family. What would anyone else do? Has anyone out there been through something similar?