Rethinking wedding things

For 112 guests, I doubt your grandparents’ property can support that. So you’ll need to spend money on extra bathrooms (not a fun thing to spend money on). Are you stuck on budget, or a more intimate experience?

I’d make a pro and con list. Which has the best pros! The wanting of having a smaller wedding had occurred to me and I’m sure many brides during the throws of planning. It can be very overwhelming. Just make sure it is what you really want

Me, personally- I’ve always wanted a smaller, intimate wedding. I’d rather spend the money on an elaborate honeymoon or towards buying a house, etc. Some people want to spend 10s of thousands of dollars for flashy and extravagant. My wedding in October will have max 25. It is reserved primarily for immediate family and a few very close friends. We purchased a house in Europe last year and I’d rather spend money on renovations old or our future than a one-day affair.


Whatever the two of you choose, make sure you’re on the same page and most importantly follow your heart / instincts. Don’t worry about what other people think or feel, it’s YOUR day! And you should have what you want the way you want it.

Have you sent stds?

I would say do what the two if you want. You can always invite more. And remember not all invite will show. My friend invited 324 people and only had 113 say attend but only 97 showed up

View Quoted Comment No. We did text a few people that would have to fly in to see if they would be able to. But our invitations are still sitting addressed and labeled waiting to be sent

View Quoted Comment My grandparents have a big property so that’s not a problem and they offered to rent for the bathrooms. But we haven’t made a deposit on anything yet. Also we are aware that not all of the 112 people we invited cannot make it.

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I would say if you have not officially invited anyone you could still do a smaller wedding but I would suggest be sure of what you two want.

We are going for more of an intimate feel with our wedding. We are planning on having around 65 guests of our closest family and friends. Its a cheaper option and less headache. I would recommend going with what you're happy with cause it's your day. There may be a reason you are now rethinking the 112 guests. I would go over the guest list and only keep the people you really want there.

I went through this exact situation chickie. I put a deposit down on my dream venue in the country, for a 350 person wedding. After a few weeks, it all got to be so overwhelming and we noticed in conversation that we really didn't care if half the people we had to invite, actually showed up. That's when we realized we needed to switch gears big time. Sticking with our date the venue gave us, we began exploring other options.

We had to figure out how to cut our list. We set our limit at 75 give or take 5-6 guests (our new "venue" can hold 100 max). We cut out friends that we haven't seen in a few years, family that hasn't been supportive or around in an extended amount of time, anyone we were iffy about inviting originally because we were nervous about them creating drama, parents of friends, etc. We got it all figured out and went over by 10, with hopes that some people will rsvp no. My FIL's had a very difficult time understanding and agreeing with our decision but we were confident this was exactly what we wanted. They didn't like that their aunts & uncles, cousins, second cousins were not going to be invited and they made sure we knew their feelings. It was hard but fast forward a year and they are soooo genuinely happy we did things this way. They can't wait to spend the night with closest family & friends to celebrate our love.

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But what about all the other rentals? Or purchases, if you're doing disposable? Chairs, tables, linens, plates, cups, silverware, serving items, display items, sound system, shade, drink dispensers, coolers, etc? What are you doing about food and drinks?

Most people find that doing a "backyard" reception is just as expensive - if not more - than renting a venue because everything has to be brought in.

If it's a person you can't imagine getting married without seeing them at the ceremony/reception, then they need to be invited. If that's 112 people, I'd keep it how it is. If it's someone who will add a bit, but the benefits outweigh the rest, then don't send the invite. You have flexibility since you haven't sent the invites and no one is entitled to an invite. I'd look at it more as a per-person issue and then see what you're left with. Good luck!

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Wow! Kudos to you guys for getting a guest list that large cut down by almost 75%! We started at 150, but after seeing the budget decided to rethink.

View Quoted Comment Thanks girl! It was difficult and people are mad at us but they will understand and get over it one day.
We just knew this day was truly about us and we wanted to share it with only our closest family & friends.

Hi there, so sorry you are going through this too, you're not alone! I've just posted a lengthy message regarding this issue. I think it would really help you to read it.

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/june-couples-postponing-due-to-covid-19-encouragement/e2e6a03e5635af33.html

All the best,

Natalie

Then you are so very lucky if you have not invested in a pricey venue. My suggestion would be to wait and see if they lift the count and have the wedding guest count you wanted with the mindset that everything and everyone is safe. Good luck!!

~Pia~

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Hey Margaret,

You are so right that whatever Kourtni & her fiance decide to do, they should ensure they are on the same page and not be too concerned with what people think. Enjoy your journey together as one. Good luck!!!

~Pia~

Kourtni,

If it were me, I would keep the 112 because 15-20% of guests usually decline. So that would put you between 96 and 100. The next few months might persuade more to cancel so that could cut your numbers down as well. But if you were definitely set on a small intimate wedding I would start with friends of parents, the cousins I haven't seen in years or the friends I lost touch with years ago.

In all honesty, do what makes you happy girl and do not worry about what other people think! It's your wedding and you are allowed to do whatever you want! Are you considering the smaller wedding because of COVID or just wanting an intimate wedding?