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Just Said Yes October 2020

Ring Judgement

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Gabrielle, on July 26, 2018 at 8:22 PM

My fiance and I recently got engaged and I've been getting some pretty opinionated feedback about my ring. We are not a super traditional couple and he ended up not going with a traditional diamond ring, and instead the main stone is an opal. I am absolutely in love with the ring, but many of my friends and family members are giving pretty negative feedback about it. For example, "that's not a real engagement ring" or "oh so he couldn't afford a diamond, huh?".
I honestly don't really care if they like it or not, but it does tend to be a little offputting when they are being blatantly rude about it. How would you suggest dealing with a situation like this without coming across as a serious jerk?
I've attached a photo of the ring for reference.

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122 Comments

Savvy June 2019
Emily · on July 26, 2018 at 9:42 PM
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I also have an Opal engagement ring! Mine has a small diamond at the tip of the tear drop. I love it, I couldn't fathom spending an obscene amount of money on an engagement ring and I love that opals have so much meaning behind them. At the end of the day I couldn't have asked for anything better. I think people get caught up in the whole diamond and size thing, the size of a diamond does not correlate to the love that you and you fiancé share!
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Dedicated September 2018
Lindsey M. · on July 26, 2018 at 9:42 PM
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This is my nontraditional, aquamarine ring and I LOVE IT!!! I’ve had a lot of people love it, but a few people act weird when they see it. They’re like, “oh.... it’s... pretty!” And I’m thinking yeah yeah yeah, I don’t care what you think. You shouldn’t either!! You’re the one wearing it and it means you get to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. I think it’s gorgeous! I almost suggested an opal ring to my FH before deciding on aquamarine. Congratulations!! 😊
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Savvy February 2019
Maggie · on July 26, 2018 at 9:43 PM
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Your ring is absolutely beautiful! I have a somewhat non traditional ring (salt and pepper diamond) and from the other comments it sounds like you are in good company! I think it means so much more that you have something significant to you that you love. If people are so rude to comment on it honestly you're well within your rights to be rude right back, it makes me so mad people can be so awful. However if you're really looking for a response maybe you can explain to them the significance of an opal and why you love it so much.
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Dedicated May 2019
Christine · on July 26, 2018 at 9:46 PM
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Your ring is beautiful!You love it so never mind the haters!
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VIP June 2019
Cheryl&rock · on July 26, 2018 at 9:57 PM
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My ring is diamonds but not certified and I don't care!!! They have flaws so don't I! Your ring is beautiful!!! It's what you wanted!! Sorry, but the hell with them!
Ohhhhh you are so much of a nicer person than I am. I WOULD have told them a thing it too.
People tick me off, how rude and materialistic!! .I can't give advice because I know what I would do and say!!
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VIP June 2019
Cheryl&rock · on July 26, 2018 at 9:57 PM
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Oops thing or two!!!
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Just Said Yes October 2018
Caitlin · on July 26, 2018 at 9:59 PM
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Girl who cares! It's your engagement ring, not theirs. Diamond engagement rings weren't really a thing until a jeweler around the 1920s ish used it as a sales promotion. Alternative engagement rings are totally in right now too. Plus, diamonds lose half their value once they leave the store, your ring will hold its value.

All in all, a stone in a ring doesn't define your love, your relationship, or your future. Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming nuptials. Wear that beautiful opal and embrace its uniqueness just like your love for each other.
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Expert May 2018
Mrs. Jones · on July 26, 2018 at 10:03 PM
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That’s so frustrating and hurtful! I’m sorry you’re going through that. I love your ring byw
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Just Said Yes June 2019
Ally · on July 26, 2018 at 10:04 PM
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Your ring is beautiful because he picked it out for you! Others can be petty, don’t let it bother you at all! As long as you like it, that’s all that matters.
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Expert October 2018
Alison · on July 26, 2018 at 10:08 PM
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Absolutely love your ring! My birthday is in October and part of me had wished my engagement ring had an opal on it.
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Super November 2018
Kay · on July 26, 2018 at 10:11 PM
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I am shocked people would talk to you like that, so rude. I am not really sure how to deal with it other than saying "I love it, its exactly what I wanted" and be done with it, there's no getting through to negative people like that.
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Super August 2018
Shayna · on July 26, 2018 at 10:16 PM
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Some people won’t understand your decision to have a non-traditional ring. I have a yellow sapphire solitaire. It’s exactly what I wanted. My FMIL still doesn’t understand why I don’t have a diamond. Don’t let other people take away from your joy. Your ring is gorgeous.
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Expert May 2018
J · on July 26, 2018 at 10:18 PM
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Your ring is lovely. Those comments are unacceptable and totally out of line. I think you need to stand up for yourself and your fiancé and say something if it happens again. Otherwise these people will probably continue to criticize you, your wedding, and anything else they don’t like. Seriously next time try looking them in the eye and telling them that their comment was uncalled for and ask them why they felt the need to insult your ring. And then just stare are them. If they don’t apologize then walk away. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life.
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Just Said Yes May 2021
Katrina · on July 26, 2018 at 10:26 PM
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Its beautiful!!! Let them talk...if they are so focused on the cost of the ring...I wonder if the relationship they are in is for true love or for the status? Money does not buy love!! Congratulations!!
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Devoted June 2018
Caitlyn · on July 26, 2018 at 10:26 PM
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That's so pretty! Opal is my birthstone and I think it's such a beautiful gem
I know a lot of people who are engaged and newly married who didn't do the traditional diamond. As for people who are talking down about your ring I agree with the PPs just say something along the lines of "well it's my dream ring but thanks anyway" don't let their negativity dull your excitement!
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Super September 2018
Gipperkm · on July 26, 2018 at 10:29 PM
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Lol! This. Perfect repsonse right here.
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Expert October 2018
Brandy · on July 26, 2018 at 10:35 PM
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Your ring is beautiful! Some people completely miss the point of an engagement ring. It doesn't matter what type it is. My ring is moissanite. I specifically told my FH that I didn't want a diamond. the type of stone doesn't define what qualifies as an engagement ring. It is the COMMITMENT itself that you and your SO have chosen to make to each other that makes it an engagement ring. But you know the old saying "haters gonna hate"
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Savvy September 2018
Elizabeth · on July 26, 2018 at 10:36 PM
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Beautiful ring! Mines morganite and aquamarine so I know your struggle. I just really dont like how diamonds look on me. I dont know many tips on not being a jerk cause I enjoy throwing it back in peoples faces lol
Just be happy knowing your fiance knows you well enough to find something that fits you and didnt a waste his money on the shiniest thing he could find. People will always judge. If you had a small diamond they would say the same. If it was big they'd say its gaudy or like you're trying to prove something. theres no winning with other people!
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Just Said Yes August 2019
Kaitlyn · on July 26, 2018 at 10:43 PM
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It's so beautiful!! If you love it, it's perfect. To me the ring doesn't matter. I always told him I'd marry him with a ring pop. Marriage to me isn't about the rings to material items, it's the love between you two. He got you that ring knowing you would love it. He knows you!
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Savvy February 2020
Audrey · on July 26, 2018 at 10:44 PM
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Oh that's okay, I can laugh about it now. 😂Thank you! And congratulations to you too!!!
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