Ring Shaming

Your ring is gorgeous!!!!
Some people are just super judgy but every person has a unique ring fit for them and yours is gorgeous

That is a gorgeous ring! Your friends sound very immature. Just ignore them. I'm sure you've heard the advice that people only put down other people when they themselves have low self-esteem or are insecure. Enjoy the ring you and your husband picked out together; not only is it special but it is the perfect size for your finger.

I would say that your age plays a factor in this. When I got engaged to my ex-husband I was 21 and he was 19. All our friends who got engaged around that time played this game.

This time around I was a lot older and none of my friends have said anything about the size/cost/shape of my ring at all. They’re all just excited for me and FH.

First of all your ring is beautiful! Mine is similar, princess cut with a halo and filigree.

I've had my aunt a full grown adult, with full grown adult children who are married, ask me how many carats my diamond was. UGH! like what is it to you? What if I lied to her and said it was 5 carats when it is obviously not, would she call me out? LOL

Second of all, all of those things your friends have said are really rude and I would let them know. They will learn real quick once they are engaged that they will get rude comments about their rings, then they will probably feel bad about what they said before.

Your ring is very pretty! Cost of rings can be deceiving. My ex friend had only seen my ring in a photo I sent her. When she saw it in person she said "it looks different than the picture. It's nice. It's petite." I'm used to this person being superficial so I only let it bother me for a second. What she didn't know is that my ring cost more than twice what hers cost. I know because I was with her now estranged husband when he bought it. I never judged her ring based on the cost.

People like to make everything a competition. At the end of the day, everyone has different needs, wants and finances. Enjoy your ring and be flattered that she likes it enough to get one herself!

GET BETTER FRIENDS. I’m sorry, I’m sure they’re nice in other ways. I can tell from your post that you’re down to earth, you care about your friends, you share in their joys. It just sounds like they don’t match your maturity level. You already know that your ring is beautiful and it means everything to you and your husband. Keep on being the moral compass of the group and hopefully they’ll catch up to you.

I can sort of relate to this. I was always looking at other girl’s rings silently judging them in my head. I would never say to someone’s face that I didn’t like their ring though or try to “up” them in any way. At the end of the day, if you’re happy with it then that’s all that matters. It’s not a competition. Everyone has differently tastes. That was rude of your friends to ask and say even for my standards lol

My FH got me a bigger stone, it's actually a moissanite crystal, which was more affordable than a diamond. I always get the "Wow that is so big" ... not pretty or anything ... just big lol. So I guess it goes both ways lol. As long as you love it, that's what matters.

Edit: I should also point out when they say its "so big" it's not in a good way lol, they were saying wow I can't believe he would spend so much $ on that, I would never. When they don't even know how much it cost lol.

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That's what I've boiled it down to is that we're all young, and I know that a certain few of them have been a little bit envious that every boyfriend they thought was "the one" actually turned out to be the one they needed to get away from. On the same hand though I can't help but wonder why it is that I feel such happiness for them while they are only trying to outdo me, when in reality; I'm so in love with my ring and my husband that being outdone by a bunch of other 20-somethings has been the furthest thing from my mind all this time until recently

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Omg yes those are so beautiful and so much more affordable! We had agreed that in the future we could always put a bigger stone in it for one of our anniversaries as opposed to people who completely replace their rings after 5-10 years, because I love my ring and I don't want any others. When we do size up we might just end up getting a moissanite instead anyway because I don't need anything overpriced to love my ring lol I'm alllll for saving money for something more important

Your ring looks beautiful! As a fellow size 4, I agree the struggle is REAL to find a ring that is gorgeous but doesn't look like it's taking over your entire finger. The important thing about your ring is what it symbolizes, not who it impresses.

You are obviously a mature 20 year old with your priorities straight which is a great omen for the future of your marriage. Your friends will realize eventually that it's about your relationship, not a ring. Try to ignore the comments. You're happy and that's what matters (and that may actually be what the competition is about).

There is nothing tiny about that ring at all, don't let your friends make you believe there is.

Please don't take this the wrong way since it isn't directed at you, but they are simply showing their age and immaturity at this point in life that they haven't yet grown enough to learn that's not proper etiquette, you never ask those questions, and you definitely don't try to rub what you have in another bride's face.

Do these girls actually have rings yet or they just think they'll get something better? Because I know I didn't understand what all went into the cost of a ring (not just the diamond is expensive!!) before I got mine. So while FH may have xx budget, that doesn't mean the DIAMOND will cost xx.

If I was you, I'd take the high road, let them be petty, and sit back and wait. You might just have some nice karma unfold on their behavior.

Those aren't your friends! Also your ring is gorgeous and huge! Anyone trying to out do you is clearly jealous.
I'm lucky most of my friends are married or single right now so nobody is bothered with my ring. Mine is also an heirloom ring so it's value is sentimental to me.
I say ignore them because it's unhealthy to compete with each other.

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Well thank you I try to remain level-headed in most situations, this one just kinda threw me for a loop lol. I couldn't really comprehend why I feel so much happiness for them while all they're trying to do is outdo me, but I've decided I'm too in love with my own ring & husband to worry about anyone else's. I may try mentioning that the ring doesn't matter when it comes to being happy in your marriage. I've met many men that could've given me rings that I've only seen on celebrities, & that would've been cool & all, but none of those high class rings came with the man I really wanted so it's just not worth it to me (unless of course you're someone that gets to have both the ring & the man lol)

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Thank you! And you're tellin me.. I thought I wanted a double halo and a big diamond until I put one on and suddenly my little finger felt 10x heavier lol! It was just extremely unflattering on me (also because I get long nails so my fingers also look thinner most of the time). I love that last statement so much too

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Thank you so much I hadn't thought about it like that before, but now that you mention happiness being the competition; I do recall an employer that I had at one point who had everything - custom built house, rings out the wazoo (that she never wore, but kept in a dresser drawer), a $50k Mercedes convertible, and a husband that gave it all to her. He was such an angel, but she was always wanting something, and seemed to refuse to talk about anything but herself and how great her life was, and how happy she was when really she wasn't at all. Her husband told me himself that she feeds off making people feel inferior because that's the only thing that truly makes her feel better. I'm wondering if my friends aren't feeling a sense of self-accomplishment in thinking they're making me feel inferior when really I haven't wished anything but the best for them..

Well, your ring is beautiful. We bought mine (yes we, together) on etsy so occasionally i take it in ring shops to get cleaned. Most people say wow its amazing, one lady said hmm this doesn't look like morganite but whatever. We had it appraised when I bought it and made sure it was legit. People are rude, bless and release that energy girl. Its gorgeous!

Awful! I went true something very similar. My fiance and I make very good money ...we are on our 30s. I don't think it really matters how big the ring is. As a matter of fact, I think that it is pretty depressing that instead of being absolutely happy about being engage or about to be engage, your friends are thinking about who has the biggest ring.... is that what marriage is about for them? pretty sad! I would shower in butter and not pay attention to that. Your ring is gorgeous and you seem to be a very happy married woman.

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If I'm honest.. One of them has a very large ring that looks like a million bucks - and it's gorgeous as all getout - but I happen to know that her fiancé purchased from a shop on Instagram (which I happen to follow) and it's worth $50 flat out. But I congratulated her nonetheless and said nothing when she walked around the office letting everyone guess the price and telling them what she thinks was spent on it. They're a lovely couple and make each other extremely happy, so it's not something I'll put my 2 cents into.
The girl that coincidentally loves the same ring as mine also doesn't actually have it yet, but found out that her BF was going to propose when he got a $1500 bonus at work (and I'm sorry, but $1500 is less than 1/2 the cost of when we purchased it) but the bonus never came so he told her and ruined the surprise anyway, so that's why she's been looking at rings.
And the girl that asked me about the cost of my ring eloped with a guy in the marines that she met 3 months prior, who now cheats on her every chance that he gets. But yeah, she actually has the ring worth about $2k so I guess that makes it okay lol.
I haven't said anything to any of them, which I suppose is why I thought it would make me feel better to talk it out on here