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Brittanie
Dedicated June 2020

Ring Shaming

Brittanie, on July 25, 2019 at 3:43 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 60

So this is something I never though I would encounter as my ring is absolutely perfect in my eyes, it's of a reasonable cost, and my husband went through a lot to make sure I had it because it's the only one of 100+ that I "tried on" or looked at that I fell in love with. Well we're a young couple...

So this is something I never though I would encounter as my ring is absolutely perfect in my eyes, it's of a reasonable cost, and my husband went through a lot to make sure I had it because it's the only one of 100+ that I "tried on" or looked at that I fell in love with.

Well we're a young couple (married at 18 when he was 20, now I'm 20 and he's 22), so obviously all my friends are just starting to get engaged now too, or preparing for the engagement that they're hoping for with their significant others in the near future, and they are all picking out their rings right about now. I'm extremely happy for each of them, and so ecstatic that they're getting to this stage in life, but it seems as though they're just turning it into a competition...

There is one girl in particular that actually coincidentally fell in love with the exact same engagement ring as mine, but in rose gold (it's a popular ring so this didn't bother me at all, I was actually quite happy for her). And when she showed me online and I pointed this out, she literally said to me, "Oh. Yeah, but mine will have a way bigger rock on it than that." Like..? I didn't think that was what mattered.. It certainly didn't to me when I chose it.

I even have another friend that messaged me asking how much my ring cost, and when I ask why she wanted to know (because it's not something I choose to just advertise) she said, "I wanted to see if mine is more expensive than yours LOL."

Has anyone else had this issue being married/engaged before all of their friends?? I didn't think this was gonna be a thing but apparently I was wrong lol. I feel kind of like they're all borderline shaming my ring as though I'm supposed to go running to my husband and demand a newer, bigger, more expensive one, or like he didn't work his a** off to get me this one.

On a side note: he did try to get me a bigger ring, but my finger is a size 4, so giant rings just look gaudy on me lol plus this one I fell in LOVE with!

ring in the boxcfb_1246043.jpg

from engagement photos cfb_1246045.jpg


60 Comments

  • Jessica
    VIP June 2020
    Jessica ·
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    Ugh so annoying! I get that with my ring. "Oh its so dainty", "its cute" and blah blah blah. It's annoying. Then I tell them FH picked out the band himself and the center diamond is the same diamond from his mothers engagement ring. I love it and it has special meaning. I don't care about the price or the size.

    Ring Shaming 1


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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    Thats awful that your friends are acting like that. It's completely insensitive and rude. Sounds to me like they might be getting engaged for the wrong reasons....

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  • Melissa
    Dedicated October 2019
    Melissa ·
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    That's a beautiful ring Smiley smile It's sad how people have to ring shame. I'm a jewelry DM at Walmart, my fiance and I are in our late 20s. He custom designed my ring (with help from his brother) at Jared's. I was totally floored, I love it and it's my everyday reminder of our commitment to eachother. I've dealt with ring shaming though on the opposite spectrum, where someone disses the fact that my ring was expensive. No one should have to justify what was spent or not spent.
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    That "friend" of yours is so mean and petty? She wanted to compare it with hers to see what was more expensive, seriously? That's where her head is at? Wow! LOL first of all, your ring is absolutely beautiful, but in the same stretch, it's a piece of jewelry unique to you and isn't something to be compared for any reason. I just want to know why your friend is asking that? LMAO sounds like someone my FH knows in his circle. Everything to this "friend" is a competition. It's actually kind of sad. Don't worry about what she says. Your ring is really nice.Smiley heart

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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
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    Yes girl, everyone around you will be happy but silently hope they get a bigger one. On my sisters birthday she congratulated her friend on her engagement and included me as well (last year) and she immediately ran to me and grabbed my hand to check out my ring, I felt like snapping it away and saying what is your problem?

    My coworker got engaged almost a year after me and came into work the day after she was proposed to with the purpose of making sure I noticed hers was bigger, she even said oh let put them side by side. She also told me that day that when he proposed they had to redo the proposal a few times to get everything camera perfect. Ughh, its like really?


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  • Cassi
    Super October 2019
    Cassi ·
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    I think its gorgeous! I haven't really had this happen EXCEPT for my MOH (also my best friend) her husband asked me and when I told him the price he chuckled and mentioned how he got my best friends used for lie $700. But it was more of a wow I'm super thrifty and your FH spent over 5k on your ring. But I didn't care (was actually more flattering knowing my husband was willing to spend over 5k on a ring for me knowing damn well I would take a plastic one) lol.

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  • Nancy
    Savvy May 2020
    Nancy ·
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    WOW seems like a descent size ring and it’s gorgeous on your finger. I think when people make comments like that their just jealous, haters or unhappy. I had someone say oh your ring is small, did you really want this or are you just saying you like it to not hurt his feelings. Can’t tell you who said it lol but someone in our family. My ring is 1/2 ct and I have skinny fingers so I’m totally fine with my solitaire. I also thing that if your requesting over a 1 ct diamond just to say yes than maybe they shouldn’t be getting engaged. Just my humble opinion but your ring is gorgeous!
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  • K
    Dedicated June 2020
    Kellie ·
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    I love your ring.

    I had my fiancé’s ex wife, who recently got engaged, tell me her ring was better than my “dainty” ring. I laughed so hard lol.
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  • Sara
    Expert October 2020
    Sara ·
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    Agreed. They sound pretty immature! My ring is nobody's business but mine and FH. I actually insisted on a smaller ring with a smaller budget, I'm pretty sure FH did not pay any attention to my budget and most likely doubled or tripled it. I was not expecting something as big as I got! I was talking to one of our friends before the engagement and said something along the lines of I want something smaller and not that expensive and she made a comment about me "deserving more". I realized she was not the right person to talk about it with and just explained to her that what I "deserve" is for FH to listen to my wants and needs. I am a very understated person. I wanted something that was unique that people would look at and say oo wow that is nice and personal not that is a big diamond. Also I don't want to be responsible for a big expensive piece of jewelry that I have to take off every time i want to do something.

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  • Ceelie
    Expert August 2019
    Ceelie ·
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    I felt this on a spiritual level!! Haha this is so relateable. When I went to work after our engagement our company CEO congratulated me (I was a receptionist at the time) and asked to see the ring. After I showed him, he said "wow, that's quite the rock." We got talking and I told him my fiance works here also, out in the warehouse. As soon as I said that he responded with "oh then that must not be real." and started laughing. I didn't say much after but man. Where is the decency? He didn't just mock the ring but basically made it clear my FH could never afford a ring like that. It's real, however I don't flaunt it. And even if it wasn't real, who gives a flying rip? Seriously I could not care less. His grandfather owned a jewelry store and sold it to him for less because he is family. You just never know someone's situation and I find it so nauseating for people to have the nerve to put in their two cents about your finances and what's worth what. Mad respect for the way you're handling it though, keep doing you and enjoy that ring! It's beautiful.

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  • Kerissa
    Savvy August 2022
    Kerissa ·
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    The ring doesn’t make the marriage. Your ring is quite beautiful and if it wasn’t your friends wouldn’t bother making comments anyway Smiley winking take it as a compliment and wish them good luck! They are focusing on the wrong thing.
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  • J
    Beginner September 2019
    Jasmine ·
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    You have a gorgeous ring, please do not let anyone put you down about it. Since when did one's love for each other have to be validated by a piece of jewelry? All that matters is the love that you have for each other and that is worth more than any ring in the world.

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  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
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    Your ring is so, so beautiful! It sounds like the friends are the ones that need upgrading. 😏
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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    Hi,

    Let me start by saying your ring is beautiful. I think it is rude to ask how much especially to see if theirs is more expensive. I do not think anything when she showed the ring online maybe she was just saying that her diamond will be different? im not sure

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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    Your ring is beautiful! And actually, I would be happier to have a “cheaper” ring. I helped pick my ring out, because we wanted to pick it together, and we were given a price but we got it almost half off cuz we waited for a sale. I’m proud of that. I got a beautiful ring for half it’s price. I think comparing diamonds and costs is childish, immature, and materialistic. They should be thankful for the person who gave them that ring, not for petty details. Take away the person that gave them that ring and the meaning behind it, and all it is is a ring. Don’t let them get to you. Easier said than done, but you know how much you love your ring and what’s more, how much you love your husband. That’s all that matters. I wouldn’t trade my ring for the world, because the memories attached to it are more important to me than anything else.
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  • Meghan
    Dedicated May 2021
    Meghan ·
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    Some people dont understand that its not the size of the ring or the price. Its the person that gives it to you.
    If they're into marriage only for the glamorous ring and wedding, then it won't last long. Or if it does, it probably wont be a happy and faithful marriage.
    As much as I look at others' rings that are larger carats and get a little envious, I also remember that I love mine, and the man that gave it to me. I wouldn't let your friends comments bother you too much, I'm sure its annoying and intrusive though.
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  • Alexandra
    Devoted July 2021
    Alexandra ·
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    Your ring is stunning!!! I wouldn’t worry because at the end of the day, your not marrying the diamond on your finger, your marrying the guy that put it on your finger! People will always say comments, but it’s your ring and it looks gorgeous!
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  • Leighanne
    Beginner October 2021
    Leighanne ·
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    First of all, your ring is gorgeous! However, I am a firm believer that when it comes to engagements and weddings, the ring does not matter. It is the amount of love that the couple had for each other. I think it is appropriate to help youR FH pick ring styles so they know what you like if they ask- but I don’t think anyone should dictate their ring. I also don’t always feel that it is appropriate to know how much he spent. I don’t think that should make a difference. I honestly don’t know how much my FH spent and I don’t want to know. Like you- I don’t feel like it is something to advertise. I know that some of my other friends SO have asked my FH so that they can get idea of how much they will expect to spend. However- the culture of ring shaming or being in competition is something I would be completely happy to see go away for good. I think it sounds like your friends need a reality check that a size/cost of the ring is not the end all.
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  • Robyn
    Savvy April 2022
    Robyn ·
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    It's better than mine.


    I think your ring is absolutely beautiful.
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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    First off your ring is absolutely beautiful! My Husband's friend's girlfriend who happens to be a Narcissist became very Jealous and Envious when I got engaged. Anytime she was around me and someone complimented me on my ring she would glare at me with a dirty look on her face because she did not like the attention I was getting. She even started wearing random rings on her ring finger even though she was not engaged all because she is Insecure, Jealous and Envious. She would always make comments that she never wanted to marry her boyfriend because she said been there done that went through a divorce I do not want marriage. Fast forward to my wedding June 8th 2019 she was so jealous over my wedding than in December she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum, Purchased and customized her own ring , Gave it to him and said here you better purpose to me around Christmas. Fast forward somewhere to Sept 2020 they had a small backyard wedding and everyone was whispering about how she does not even want to be with him and that she only got married because she wanted to put on a show and was jealous that other people were married. Some people are just that Insecure and Jealous.

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