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Lilia
Savvy November 2019

Ring struggle

Lilia, on July 22, 2019 at 8:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 35
Hello ladies... I need help. I'm trying as best I can to be so grateful because im not the type to be superficial or super picky. It's probably why this is so hard for me. I finally got my ring yesterday and... I. HATE. it. Like I absolutely do not like it at all. I dont like the setting, I dont like yellow gold, I dont like the way it looks on my finger. Everytime I look at it I hope to miraculously fall in love with it and I just cant. 😥😥😥 I'm struggling ladies. Really badly. What do I do???

Ring struggle 1

35 Comments

Latest activity by MrsHamm, on November 8, 2019 at 5:24 PM
  • Ana
    Devoted September 2019
    Ana ·
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    Tell him you don’t like it. Maybe you can exchange it.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    So was it a surprise? It's hard to gauge what to do without knowing how your fiance got it. It's not heirloom right? Did he just decide he liked it?
    Overall I like to remind people you can always pick a wedding band and that's the one you wear forever so if you're not nuts with the engagement ring don't sweat it too much.
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    As PP said, if you feel that strongly tell FH. It's better to be honest Smiley smile

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  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
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    I would just be honest with him.. I'm sorry your going through this!

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  • Lilia
    Savvy November 2019
    Lilia ·
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    I think what bothers me most is that I sent him multiple reference photos (requested by him) and this is the ABSOLUTE complete opposite of any of the pictures I sent him. I honestly think he went in, found the cheapest one he liked and bought it. Like he didnt take my likes into consideration at all. I feel like a complete brat and I'm trying so hard to love it but it just makes me want to cry.
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  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
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    FH and I have a completely honest policy so when we don’t like a gift we tell the other. I think maybe bring it up and just reference the pictures you sent and ask him why he went with that one (you know your FS better than us so you’d have to word it in a way where it doesn’t come off as bratty/complaining/being ungrateful. I know some may say it’s the thought that counts which yes that goes into consideration but I think you should also like something that you have to wear for hopefully the rest of your life. I’d think you were a brat if you said it didn’t cost enough or I want huge diamonds or something like that.
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  • T
    Savvy September 2020
    Tahia ·
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    I say be open and talk to your boo about. You don’t want to live the rest of your life with ugliness on your hand....ijs😘
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    Just say
    Hey I was curious about why you liked this engagement ring over all the others in the store? See what he says. If he asks you directly if you like it just be honest and say it's really not your style and you'd like something else.
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  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I think you should ask him what made him choose that ring. There could be something behind it that could change your mind.
    I’d ask him why, and see if he had a good reason. If the reason sucks and you still don’t like it, you’ve got to tell him. He will find out from someone eventually, better that it’s you
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  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    Definitely be honest and don’t wait! I’m not a fan of the ring FH picked for me, I don’t hate it it’s just not my style. I started the conversation asking why he picked this ring for me and he told me his reasoning: he wanted something different, and even though I told him no diamonds he felt like he had to get diamonds because it’s expected in his family and he worried he’d get criticized. He asked me if I hate it and I explained it’s just not my style and that I want to love it because he picked it, but I just can’t see myself wearing it forever because it’s not me. I definitely way over thought it and stressed myself out about it, because he just said “find something you like, you’re the one wearing it.” I also suggested to him that we just get a wedding band I like (he bought a bridal set and the wedding band isn’t my style either), that might be something to consider for you as well. When we get the time, I want us to go shopping together to find something. I definitely understand the struggle! Best wishes!
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  • Stacey
    Just Said Yes November 2019
    Stacey ·
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    I feel you should definitely tell him. You are starting a future together and u don't want to start it off with a lie. Is this a family heirloom?? Or did he actually buy it?? Just be honest with him and tell him it's not ur style. Bring up the photos u sent to him and see if there is any way u could maybe exchange it Smiley smile Good Luck with everything sweetie!
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  • C
    Dedicated August 2019
    Christina ·
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    My fiancé went through Fred Myers and they had some policy where you could exchange it within 30 or 60 days... I can’t remember! Tell him ASAP!! The ring my fiancé got me is absolutely gorgeous but a lot more feminine than I wanted. Not exactly my style but I decided to keep it even though he said I could exchange it. I honestly did end up falling in love with it. I’m planning on getting a wedding band in maybe 10 years that’s more of my style and keeping the original diamond which was his grandmothers.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Just tell your fiancé you don’t like it. If he bought it recently, he maybe able to exchange it or return it for something you like better. Just make sure you choose your words wisely so you don’t hurt his feelings.
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  • M
    Devoted September 2019
    McKenzie ·
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    Definitely tell him! I had a similar struggle with my FH and it felt tough to bring it up, but as soon as I mentioned it we worked on finding a solution and a hugeee weight was lifted. Plus, I feel like it brought us closer together.

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  • Grace
    Dedicated December 2019
    Grace ·
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    Like every else has said, just tell him.
    I don't even really know if his reasoning matters because you know it's not you, and asking his reasoning might seem like beating around the bush or like he has to justify to you why he bought that one.
    You don't like, it's not your style and you love him, but you'd like to pick a different ring together that you feel better represents who you are. Which is totally reasonable, at least to me.
    If it's a matter of price to him, it's usually cheaper to go to a good jeweler and have them custom make something for you than to buy it from a jewelry store.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    My friends wife had hers upgraded aha because she wanted it kind of different too. So I don't think you should be afraid of telling him you'd like a different style ring. You have to wear it forever or keep it forever anyway so you should have something you love
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  • A
    Expert January 2020
    Abby ·
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    I honestly didn’t love mine but we had already said we would upgrade in a few years.. we’ll then within a month a diamond fell out and it upset me and him so we went ahead and upgraded to the one we both loved originally.
    Just let him know it’s not your style. You love him and just would rather get something that fits you a little more! Good luck girl 😊 it’s all gonna be okay!
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  • Arielle
    Expert August 2020
    Arielle ·
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    As most of the PPs said, be honest and open with him. Be gentle and do it sooner rather than later.

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  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
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    I agree with this. Seems like a good way to go about it.

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  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
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    Don't beat yourself up or feel like a brat. By your post it's clear you are not! I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm sure it's really hard to feel excited when it's the opposite of what you pictured. Approach it gently, if he had not asked for reference photos, REALLY gently, but he did, so it shouldn't be too bad to say "Hey, I love you and I'm so excited to marry you, but I really do not love this ring. I don't want to insult you or the budget you have, but can we exchange it for something I like? Even if it isn't exactly what I sent you, I am sure there is something in a similar budget to this I will love, but I'd like to do this soon before the store won't exchange it." While he could have just walked in and picked the cheapest thing, he could have really taken his time and just not be great at picking jewelry. Ask what he thought you'd like about it, and compliment those areas. That way, as you ride to the jewelry store, he isn't beating himself up about it.

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