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Lacey
Beginner November 2021

rsvp follow-up for “yes” responses

Lacey, on June 8, 2021 at 6:28 PM Posted in Planning 0 29
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We are sending invites out 10 weeks prior to the RSVP deadline, and 4.5 months prior to the wedding date. I know this is earlier than the recommended window of time, but we have SO many family members asking questions about who is invited and who isn’t, travel info, etc. that we feel like we needed to go ahead and send them out so people can get all of the information they need to plan in advance (give the people what they want!). However, I feel as if there will be some folks who RSVP “yes!” right away after receiving their invitation out of excitement and good intentions, but then either forget, lose excitement, or whatever between now and the wedding date and end up not coming. That is fine... unless we pay for a bunch of people who don’t notify us that they’ve changed their mind/don’t cancel their RSVP. My question is: would it be weird or totally fine to send something closer to the event along the lines of “still planning on coming?” but worded better, to get an accurate guest count. Just a little check-in. Thoughts? Has anyone sent follow-ups to their peeps?

29 Comments

Latest activity by Lacey, on June 15, 2021 at 4:25 PM
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    If the wedding is still a ways out, you could send save the dates - that way people will know they are invited, but won’t rsvp right away, so they can make realistic plans.
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  • Gabby
    Devoted October 2021
    Gabby ·
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    That's what save the dates are for. Include a link to your wedding website on the save the date where you answer their questions.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Like others have said, this is why you would send save the dates. I would recommend getting save the dates ASAP and mailing them out. You could easily get cute ones from Walmart's photo center (that's what one of my friends did). This way you don't have follow up or ask people to RSVP so far in advance.

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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    Agree with others - send Save the Dates and that solves the problem. You can even do electronic ones if paper ones aren't in the budget.

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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    Thank you ladies! We did send save the dates back in December/January with a link to our wedding website which was good enough for some, but it had just gotten out of hand with the “who’s invited” questions nonstop since then. The invitations were mailed out today so unfortunately it is a done deal. With that being said, what do we think about the follow-ups closer to the event? Should I just trust that those who RSVP yes will make it?
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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    I also wanted to mention that many were actually asking me when and where they could RSVP lol. so I just needed to give them what they wanted 🤣
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I wouldn’t send invites 10 weeks before RSVPs are due. We sent our invites 5 weeks before RSVPs were due and they were due 3 weeks before our wedding so 8 weeks total between invites going out and the wedding. We only had to follow up with 4 couples, one of which their rsvp got lost in the mail (we got it a month after the wedding but the postmark was from before our rsvp date).
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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    I want to clarify—invites went out today already so that is a done deal 😇. I was just curious what people thought about following up with their “yes” people or if
    most of you just trusted that those who replied “yes” would truly show.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    It sounds like some either don't understand what the purpose of save the dates are or the names on the envelopes when you mailed them out weren't very clear as to who you were inviting. That being said I think you've made it more complicated by sending out the invitations so far in advance. I think you will confuse guests by following up with them after they have already said yes so I would just hope that the answer they gave is correct.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Save the dates are sent at 6 months and invites at 6 weeks. Do not send them earlier or people will lose and forget them. Also no one can commit before 4-6 weeks because schools and employers don’t give final schedules for requested time off prior to 4 weeks.

    The only replies you need to track down are the ones not submitted yet, which needs to begin on the rsvp due date as soon as all other names are tallied.

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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    Yes it’s true many of our people don’t know the normal wedding etiquette (kids names not listed on envelope means not invited, etc etc) as many of our friends and family are unmarried and/or don’t go to weddings as often as some (these are rural folks), so the normal etiquette we see on these boards don’t always pass over to the recipients of the invites and save the dates I’ve found. Thank you! I think you may be right that it might confuse the guests. I appreciate your opinion 🙃.
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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    Thanks! As I mentioned before, the invites have already been sent out so that part is a done deal. Our venue is requiring a final headcount 45 before the event itself, so there’s no way I can follow the normal etiquette of 6 week invites. I was really just curious what ladies thought about the following-up of their yes RSVP’s
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I feel like you are making this whole process harder on yourself by using sub-optimal timelines and making/changing planning decisions based on invitee behavior. You have already sent both save the dates and invitations, so what's done is done.

    All you need to do re. RSVPs is wait until a couple days after your deadline and then check with any non-responders. Accept the "yes" and "no" responses at face value. That is all any party host can and should do.

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  • Trisha
    Dedicated September 2021
    Trisha ·
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    Since no one seems interested in reading that the invites are gone and done, I’ll try to offer my two cents!
    So far in my engagement experience, 12 weeks out from the wedding now, many people ask about the wedding and reaffirm their interest in attending naturally. There are others you know for sure will be coming (bridal party, very close friends and family). I would recommend following up with the remainder of your guests in a casual manner. “Hey! We got excited sent the invites early we wanted to make sure you’re still able to attend!” Or slip it into a conversation struck up about something else initially. If you have way too many guests to do this individually, I wouldn’t see a real issue with sending out an electronic follow up RSVP.
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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    This is exactly what I was needing advice on, thank you!! I will just sit back and trust our guests’ RSVP responses.
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  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2020
    Victoria ·
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    We sent our invites out January 2020 for our June 2020 wedding- so you can imagine the chaos that ensued. We had sent the STDs out in September 2019. WAYYYY ahead of schedule.
    Our plan was to send a postcard style note about 6 weeks prior to the wedding- “We’ve updates our wedding website with pictures and fun surveys!” (etc) and a “cant wait to see you!” note as the sign-off.
    Maybe this plan would suffice for you!
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  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2020
    Victoria ·
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    Lol, they really did gloss over that, didn’t they?
    I like the electronic RSVP idea follow up too!
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  • Lacey
    Beginner November 2021
    Lacey ·
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    You’re the real MVP!! Thanks for coming here for my real question lol!! 😂 I really appreciate your 2 cents and that sounds like a super casual way to follow-up or just bring it up in conversation to get a feel for those stragglers that I don’t hear from between now and then. Thanks again for your input
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    If people are asking if they were invited, you can tell them they will get the invites any day now.
    If it’s people asking who else has been invited…you are probably having trouble finding a good way to handle it because that is an outrageously rude thing to ask! I suggest a quick “invites have been mailed. So how about those Cubs?”
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  • Trisha
    Dedicated September 2021
    Trisha ·
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    😂😂 good luck! I know you sent invites early for different reasons, but I am fighting myself so hard to wait 4 more weeks to send them out. They’re so just beautiful and I want to know who will RSVP already!
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