rsvp Issue

Call them.

View Quoted Comment My fiance tried to do so the other day and neither of them answered, so we sent the texts. Still nothing.

I agree with Stacey, I would call them. If you get voicemail, I would leave a message letting them know that you HAVE to have an answer from them by X date, in order to get the final headcount to your caterer- after which time, you will not be able to add any additional guests. If you do not hear from them by that date, I would both text them and leave a voicemail (so they cannot claim they did not get the message) saying that since today is the deadline and you have not heard from them, you assume they will not be attending and will be marking them as declined.

Since you’ve reached out, I would send them both a message saying since you haven’t heard from them, even after multiple attempts, you’ll be marking them as not attending and you will be notifying your vendors accordingly. What you choose to do with their seats after that, is your decision.

If you don’t get a response after multiple attempts within the first couple days (no later) after the reply due date, count them as a no.

View Quoted Comment Yup, this exactly!


(And yay for Orlando destination weddings!)

You sent the RSVP with a return date, they ignored the return date you texted, they ignored, you called, they didn't answer. You've done plenty to see if they will be coming, at this point I'd mark them as no and stop trying.

I disagree with PPs. You have a rudely early RSVP date for a September wedding. You shouldn't be pushing for an answer this far out from your wedding - a lot of people just aren't able to give a definitive answer this early. When do you actually need to give your caterer your final headcount? That should be 2-4 weeks before your wedding date. Give the guests a new deadline of ~1 week before that date.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t even notice the date but you are correct. No one can make definitive plans before 4 weeks because many employers and schools do not give schedules prior and there is no reason to get replies before 4 weeks unless you are B listing which is rude.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. This is the most common time of the year for multi-week vacations, and it is not unusual to have them be out of touch for a few weeks. And you are many weeks too early for your RCVP Date. Call once a week for 3 weeks more. If you have not reached them once, leave a message to please call you. Likely at least one will answer. Being courteous to the people you have already invited is more important than inviting a second tier of guests to use their seats.

Is this a couple and both have fallen off the map? Has anyone been in contact with them, are they active on social media, etc?
If they are active other places and just ignoring you - count that as a no. If no one else has heard from them, something is probably going on.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.

Agree with everyone.

The RSVP date is super early for a September wedding. While the location may be different than where you live, guests don't need to apply for visas, get special vaccinations, or file for a passport to go to Orlando, so an RSVP deadline three months before your wedding is absolutely uncalled for.

Regardless, I would call the couples and if you don't hear anything from them after reaching out via multiple means (a phone call and either text, email, or social media message) mark them down as a "no."

Personally I wouldn't waste my time seeking an answer from guests who clearly don't want to communicate with you. Even with the far too early RSVP deadline, there is no reason why you don't deserve the courtesy of a text or call back.

What I have noticed with many posters who expect RSVPs more than a month before the event is they ended up with no-shows from people who originally said they would come. It's not intentional, but life gets in the way (sudden illness, work issues, etc) and then they forget to cancel RSVP. Most people have a better idea 4 weeks out (rather 6-8 weeks) whether they're able to commit or not.

Is it possible that they haven't gotten back to you because your RSVP deadline is 2 months earlier than normal?

View Quoted Comment You are within the 3 biggest vacation times a year. Why do you expect a reply in days.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. It is way too early for an RSVP date to have been two weeks ago for a September wedding. 2-4 weeks is standard and appropriate. Like said above, people often cannot answer that this early on.

You've asked for RSVP's really early. You said you were looking to "fill seats". Are you working with a B list? If so, you're running the risk of hurting feelings. People don't like thinking they are second choice for things like this.

I can see both sides, but I don't think it's too early for a destination wedding. Mind you, I'm prior military and have to schedule things up to 6 months in advance at times. But it's a destination wedding, not a regular RSVP wedding. If they haven't responded to the RSVP, your phone calls, or text messages then assume they aren't coming. Unless you'd like to try sending a telegram or a carrier pigeon...