Rsvp & registry

Are you hosting your own bridal shower? The host is usually the one that should be following up with RSVPs, not the bride.


I didn’t have a bridal shower (I declined the offer from my mom and MOH). However, I didn’t see people start to buy things off my registry until about a month before my wedding. Also most ended up giving us money so we still had a handful of things not purchased off our registry once our wedding was over.

Personally, my husband and I typically only give cash for weddings. For bridal showers, I usually try to purchase items for the bride (since the point of a bridal shower is to shower the bride not the couple). So I would purchase things I know she would like. The last bridal shower I went to, I gave the bride a Dyson hairdryer.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I would be super uncomfortable if the bride reached out to me about the shower.


I’ve stopped to purchase shower items literally on my way to the shower, so I wouldn’t worry about that part.

View Quoted Comment Ok that makes sense. My wedding is Feb 13. Mom & MIL are hosts of bridal shower - they have done most of the texting/calling guests to find an answer. I’ve texted 2-3 close friends that wouldn’t/didn’t feel uncomfortable with the question.
I just hope when it comes to the actual wedding that people RSVP yes or no. I feel bad for my family because they’ve put so much into the shower already and are unsure of the # of people that will be attending. I’ve heard from so many people that RSVP just doesn’t happy nowadays, I just think it’s disappointing.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your input! 💜

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I had my wedding pre-covid and I still had to track a lot of people down for their RSVPs. That's just how it is sometimes.

Something else to consider, some guests are probably waiting until the very last minute to RSVP since you know... Covid. It's a month away so maybe they're just waiting to see how things are by then. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going to any gatherings in February, but I also live in a hotspot (So Cal) where our ICUs are completely filled up and death rates are rising. Not sure how it is in your area, but I'm assuming that's causing some hesitation with guests as well.

View Quoted Comment Makes sense. well, we just sent wedding invitations so there’s still time for that. I just meant for the bridal shower. but, yeah I live in northeast FL in a small town, we are blessed to not be a hotspot but of course there are still concerns! thanks for your input 💜

My shower is in 3 weeks and people aren't really RSVPing either. I think we are past the RSVP deadline my mom put on the invitations. I've talked to people who have mentioned whether they are coming, but not many have officially RSVPd, so I'm kind of in the same boat as you. There's been a few items purchased off my registry but not much. I think people are just bad at RSVPing these days, but if you don't need an exact headcount for the shower I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'll definitely be tracking down RSVPs for our wedding since we have to pay per plate.

View Quoted Comment This. The bride is a guest of honor and should never be associated with any part of planning or collecting replies beyond supplying the hosts with a guest list.

View Quoted Comment Well, like I said in a recent reply, I’ve only contacted 2-3 close friends of whom I’m very personal with. Other than that, people have either chosen to text me to tell me if they can’t come or have been contacted by my mom or MIL.
But I’ve also helped out with the shower planning (not all, but fragments here and There) as my mom and MIL also work full time and have their hands full, plus my mom has a torn tendon in her foot, waiting until after my wedding to have surgery..... so it’s just out of the kindness of my heart to help out. I guess every bride is different, it’s difficult for me to sit back and relax when they have so much to do, going on personally, etc.