rsvp Set too Far in advance?

How close are you to the friend? Are you in the wedding party? If you're super close, I think it'd be fine to have a conversation with her about at least sending invites, but if not it might be better to leave it alone. We all know how touchy brides can be about the way they plan things, lol.

I agree with Terra. Unless you have a particular invested interest in this wedding, I wouldn't say anything. Your friend is an adult.

Most people can't say for sure if they can make it to an event that's eight months away, which is why people are usually asked to RSVP closer to the date. I agree with PP - this is your friend's wedding, but a little friendly advice never hurts

RSVPS generally go out with the invitations, maybe you should point that out and just leave it at that.

Not your place. Leave it be.

I wouldn't say anything but if she's a really good friend I'd buy a few bottles of wine and have a wine night with her when the RSVPs are supposed to be "due" because no one is going to RSVP that early and she's going to be real stressed. Plus, I'm sure a family member will tell her that's not the way it works.

It would absolutely drive me crazy! As others have said, it depends on how close you guys are and how you talk to eachother/personalities etc. I would ask her if you could give some input or suggestions since you have done tons of research etc. If she isn't open to it, leave her to find out the hard way

Thanks all! I'm going to leave it be, I wanted to be helpful and we are good friends, but I know it may be a touchy subject and all weddings are handled differently. If it were me, I would have wanted someone to give me that advice to avoid stress later, but like someone posted, she's an adult and hope that has all been considered!

Unless you're super good friends I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole lol!

I think you have to accept that this isn't your wedding and let them plan it how they want to. I'm with you though, that is foreign to me on many levels and I have a feeling if that's how they're handling this aspect of the planning most others would annoy me. Sorry about this and good luck over the next few months dealing with your friend.

Just give her some advice. It’s very odd to RSVP 8 months in advance. That’s usually when STDs go out! I understand it’s her day, but through our planning process I’ve been given advice from my sister, FSIL, and cousins but they haven’t been pushy or rude about it at all, and I welcomed the advice as someone knew to planning. I’m sure your friend would do the same if you took the same approach.

View Quoted Comment I agree. Very gently, nothing pushy, let them know people cannot know definitely about work, school, or vacation time schedules they far in advance. And the rule that after the first invitation is accepted, you cannot change and take a later invitation on that date, only applies if everyone follows the usual guidelines, so all possible invitations are there at once, 6-8 weeks before the wedding. But anyone who wants answers that far in advance, has no reasonable expectation of people following through. If at a later time, any close relative, or closer friend, chooses that date, people may commit to that instead. Too bad for the person who was so out of line, so early with invitations, that people feel no obligation to follow through on what was said, 8 months before the wedding. These people are setting themselves up for a lot of false positives and negatives. How awful if they simply don't know better, and 20 friends and family do know, but say nothing. Like watching a person about to lean on a loose tailing, saying nothing, and watching them take a big fall. Someone should explain how it works. A wedding is too important for people to let someone they supposedly care about wander into a mess, with no one clueing them in.