rsvp

I would not put an insert letting them know about that. Guests should be aware that when they rsvp you are counting on them attending. Set a reasonable rsvp date (30-45 days before wedding) and follow up with anyone you don’t receive an rsvp from.

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I agree with this. What you are describing (paying per head with no refunds for no shows) is the standard way catering pricing goes. So, the standard way of doing RSVPs should work unless there are some special circumstances that are really unusual.

It would be tacky to add that info to the invitation. Find out when you need to inform the caterer on a head count usually it’s 2weeks before the wedding. I’m giving my guests 3 weeks to respond ( 4weeks before the wedding) and for those who don’t respond I’ll use the week 3rd before the wedding to reach out and confirm so I have a number by 2 weeks before for the caterer. It’s standard that you pay in advance and hope everyone shows up

My cater does by person too. I am considering putting my phone number or email on the invitations and encouraging people to text or email me their RSVP because I feel like it may be a faster way to get a headcount. Some people are just slower about mailing things in.. But I am not sure if that's considered "tacky" or not.

Almost every caterer/venue works this way. In some sense, yes you are taking your guest’s response as their word, but there can always be things things come up unexpectedly at the last minute and prevent people from attending. Find out when your caterer or other vendors need your final headcount, and set your RSVP date about a week ahead of that so you can follow up with anyone who doesn’t respond. In your invitation, make sure the date and method of RSVP are very clear. Include an pre-addressed, stamped envelope for them to return if you are doing RSVPs by mail, or your wedding website if you are doing electronic RSVPs.

That's normally how it works lol just give everyone an rsvp due date. For those who don't rsvp reach out to them afterwards

This is very standard.

Guests need to RSVP to weddings. You should put RSVP instructions and a clear deadline on your invite or a separate included RSVP card.

Follow up with any guests who do not RSVP by the deadline. If you still get no response from some guests, reach out to them to let them know due to their lack of response it is assumed they are not coming and a space has not been reserved for them.

Your final headcount should only include guests who have RSVP'd yes.

This is how it always works....for almost every wedding out there, it's all inclusive and you're paying per head which is why you ask for RSVPs in the first place. Google is your BFF when it comes to wedding etiquette! It'll tell you how long you go before starting to bug people directly for their responses. This is the typical process, and you can even Google what percentage of guests on average who RSVP "yes" actually end up showing to weddings. It's a known number in the industry that doesn't fluctuate much (except I am told rn by 2 different coordinators that due to people being sick of covid, attendance to destination weddings has increased to a 90% show rate!).