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Crystal
Devoted September 2022

Rsvp’s & Invitations

Crystal, on June 4, 2022 at 9:32 AM Posted in Planning 0 28
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Hey everyone, how are you doing your RSVP’s and Stationery/Invitations? I know most do it the traditional way where they send out invites, people accept or decline and then go forward.


I found that to be time consuming and a major loss of money, especially since we have an A List and a B List (stand by list). I’ve decided the most cost efficient way is to have guests RSVP via the wedding website. That way if we get a few no’s, we can pull from our B List. Once we have a confirmed guest list THEN those guests will receive Stationery/Invitations with all the wedding details and important information.
I also don’t want to send all our wedding information and details to people who may not even come to the wedding. I rather reserve that for confirmed guests. And it also saves money instead of having to buy several extra invitations on people who may decline, this way I have a confirmed count and only need to purchase for those guests (and maybe just a few extra for errors).
This is what works for me, and I’m not even big on invitations but I did find this to be budget friendly 😊

28 Comments

Latest activity by Crystal, on June 6, 2022 at 4:05 AM
  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    We did online RSVPs and it was fine. Inside the invite suite, we included a card with a QR code and a link to the RSVP page. That way, we didn't have to pay for the small envelopes and return postage. We got the vast majority of the replies back on time, but for the last few people, we called them on the phone and entered their response ourselves. Unfortunately though, I don't think there's an easy way to withhold info from people who decline -- if you give them the link, the info will be there regardless. Same with spending $$ on invite suites even for people who end up saying no. You gotta send the envelope even if it's technically a waste of money, or else they may be offended that they never received it. 🤷🏼‍♀️


    You can do fully online invites, but that will give people the impression that it's a very casual event, which you may not want.
  • Jm Sunshine
    Jm Sunshine ·
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    I'm slightly confused why you're sending stationery invitations at all if you're going this route. The only thing that should be on an invitation is date, time and location so I'm not sure what you mean about sending out "all information and details" for those that confirm (that is what your wedding website is for). How will people even know to RSVP on the website if they haven't received an invitation? Are you emailing or texting people to do so? I am sure others will comment on the B list aspect. It is apparent you care about budget over etiquette as you have indicated.
  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    This is what works for me 🤷🏽‍♀️
    QR code sounds optimal, saw an example in a YouTube video! Good for you 😊
  • M
    Dedicated July 2021
    MaryElena ·
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    Our RSVP cards were included with our invitation. It was stressful because folks didn’t fill them out correctly or send them back on time. 3 weeks before we called/texted guests we hadn’t heard from because our venue needed a final count. We even received some after the wedding was over. You’re probably going to save yourself a lot of stress by accepting RSVPs through your website. A QR code wouldn’t be a bad idea just make sure you include a deadline.
  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    My sentiments exactly. I didn’t feel like having to deal with people not following instructions and meeting deadlines after receiving them in the mail weeks later. I feel like RSVP’ing online is just much more efficient and quicker. I thought about doing the QR but I still want to send a physical invitation and stationery. Rsvp’s & Invitations 1



  • K
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Katie ·
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    Did you send save the dates? Perhaps you can give people a slight nudge, or feel them out to see if they are already a hard yes or no. Typically I've heard that people who won't come know sooner than the maybe pile. Just since the "nos" are ones who have schedule conflicts or may be too far to travel/budget constraints.

    I totally get that you may not want to share details with those who may not come for privacy purposes, especially if it is at a private residence or something similar and I completely respect that choice. However, I do recommend that when you ask for RSVPs that you at least tell the time of the ceremony and reception, attire expected, indoor or outdoor for the ceremony and reception, as well as a more general vicinity in case you're in a big city or are having it outside of the town/city you live in. So perhaps something like "west side of New York City" or "near the city park" just so that people kind of get an idea for travel in case they prefer to book a hotel. People will need to know the time too so they can secure babysitting too.

    Best of luck!

  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    Hey Katie! These are all very good points and all that information is provided on the wedding website as well. I did send out save the dates earlier this year so everyone knows the basic information in advance.


    Most people don’t check the wedding website, I get a lot of questions that can be answered if they simply just check the wedding page! Important information and time sensitive information will be provide in the stationery. I don’t want any of the “oh I didn’t know”, because it was included with the invitations sir/ma’am!
  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    They are slowing coming in I even extended the deadline but some ppl are overlooking the invitation until you contact them to check if they have received it. So now I tried a different way and they slowly respond back when you phone is in your hand all the time.🤦🏽‍♀️
  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    Yeah see!!! I’m giving a deadline and doing one follow up, if I don’t hear back I’m moving along and pulling from the stand by list. I really don’t have time to chase people down! You have 4 weeks to reply and extra time to confirm when I do a follow up. That’s more than enough time. If you can’t reply by then, then obviously you’re not interested.
  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Right that's what I said like it will only take less than 5mins
  • L
    Devoted April 2023
    Lucy ·
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    We are doing online RSVPs for 2 reasons: cost efficient, of course and because our folks can't add people we are not inviting, can't add +1s, +2s or +whaterver number they wish lol. They can RSVP via text, phone call, email or in-person too but NO ONE is getting a paper RSVP. And because we don't want to spend a lot on invites that will be thrown away quickly anyway, we are also sending out digital invites for those who have an email adress, for others we are doing a 'DYI' invite via WordPad that we will print out. No décor on it, no beautiful calligraphy.

    As for "I also don’t want to send all our wedding information and details to people who may not even come to the wedding." I don't understand. If you send out informations and details to people who then decline, Ican't see why it would be an issue if they see them? What are you afraid of?

  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    I won’t be sending out information to anyone who declines. Invitations will only be sent to people who are attending, in case you missed that part.


    Glad you found something that works for you. Luckily I’m not here to question your ways! Good for you!
  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    Seems like alot of people are here to critique my way of doing things, or question why I chose to do the things the way I want. To clarify, this post is what works for me and I decided to share in case someone else found it helpful. In no way or form am I asking you to change my mind or push off your way of doing things onto me. I’m not telling you how to run your wedding, and I sure won’t change the way how I’m running mine.
  • L
    Devoted April 2023
    Lucy ·
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    Do you need to be that rude?
    I didn't miss that part , I know you wrote it, I can read, you know.... 🙂. I've never told you you had to send them . I asked this question because I was interested in your reasoning, not in order to tell you what to do. Hope you understand what I meant after I said it that way but again, you didn't need to get upset over this...
  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    You make a lot of assumptions, which leads me to believe maybe you didn’t comprehend my post. Maybe not make assumptions of people being afraid or angry, I am neither.


    Enjoy your planning!
  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    The problem with "only sending information to people who are attending" is that you can't know who is attending unless you give them some sort of invite and a way that they can RSVP (whether that's by mailing a card or entering it online). At MINIMUM, you need to tell everyone (whether they ultimately RSVP yes or no) the date, start time, venue name, and city. They need this information to make an accurate call on whether they can make it or not.

    After that, for the people who say yes, you could send them an email blast with additional details such as hotel blocks or rehearsal dinner, if you're having those. But you can't keep them completely in the dark, or else they'll have no idea whether they can commit. Everyone needs to get the date, time, and location -- then, you can give more specifics to the "yes" people. If there are people who can't be trusted with the basic date and place info, you should not invite them at all.


    You could have sent save-the-dates months ago. Then some of your friends and family would have told you whether they planned to come or not, so would have an idea of who's coming. But it's too late for that now.


    I find it concerning that your wedding date is 3 months away, and yet you apparently haven't told your guests any info yet. Do they know the date, time, venue, or city yet? If not, that is very unfair to them, and you may get a lot of declines because people were unaware. September is a super popular wedding month, and I would bet many of your guests are already booked that weekend.

  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    I have no idea what you're referring to. My guests have all this basic information allowing them to make a decision to either accept or decline an invitation. Maybe you misunderstood what I meant when I said "all our wedding information and details".

  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    B-listing is against etiquette. Any time you "tier" your guests it runs the risk of causing drama. People always know when they aren't first choice.

  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2022
    Crystal ·
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    B Listing is perfectly fine and not against any etiquette. Not everyone can be invited and that’s just the reality of it. And of course they know, they’ve been advised.
  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    B-listing is rude and is very much against etiquette. No-one will tell you that they don't feel OK about being on your standby list.

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