Rude to invite to reception but not ceremony?

As others have said, to be small, it has to be really small; like immediate family small. That is understandable. Inviting 50 to the ceremony and 75 to the reception really isn't acceptable.

I don't think it's rude. I actually had to miss ceremonys (well 2) because of baby sitting issues, but we made it to the reception and these are FHs REALLY good friends. They didn't seem to mind at all, as long as he was there to party with them both grooms from both weddings were really happy. Plus, they were both church weddings that started at like 10am and the cocktail/hour reception didn't start until 6pm! So, it was good for us because we didn't have to dress up and then find something to do until the reception started. (Don't worry we had let the couples know we won't be able to attend their ceremonies ahead of time and they completely understood).

So, IMO no not at all.

MrsChang, that't not really the point. You were INVITED to both, you just couldn't go. It's different to not have the option to go to the ceremony.

If your wedding is small anyway (you mentioned 44 as of now) then invite everyone. A small percentage may skip the ceremony.

You'd probably be safe inviting everyone up to about 65 people, since a small percentage may not be able to attend the wedding at all. It's a risk you'd have to take but it's a calculated risk.

Probably rude to invite some and not others to wedding and/or ceremony. Not really done. Keep the whole list small and you'll be ok.

The ceremony is the inexpensive part, I don't understand inviting less people to that. I've been invited to reception-only before and honestly it was really off-putting. It doesn't feel like I'm celebrating with you if I didn't actually get to witness what I'm celebrating.

The only way I can see getting away with that, is having the ceremony and reception on separate days at separate venues.

^^^ No.

In the UK it's actually really common to have a much bigger reception. I know most people have 50 or so to the wedding breakfast then lots of others to the evening celebration.

Obviously my opinion is a little skewed on this as this is completely and totally normal and even to be expected to a certain extent in the UK. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding back home where there weren't more people invited to the reception than to the ceremony. Perhaps it's because there are a lot of teeny 800 year old+ churches in the UK and so issues with space are more common - I don't know....

But I don't think it's rude at all. Inviting to the ceremony and not the reception - not cool. But tends to be in the UK that you have family and closest friends only to the ceremony and dinner and then open out the invite to a wider group of friends and co-workers later in the evening. But then UK weddings I've been to also have a second buffet dinner later in the evening so everyone still gets fed etc.

But I also wonder if its because the UK traditions aren't so fixated on gifts. I've never known anyone back home assume that they've been invited for the extra gifts - just that the bride and groom want them to come and celebrate with them.

I think it'll be okay ... Just make sure it's younger people that you leave out of the ceremony since older ones may be more traditional?

My cousin is doing this. They are having a ceramony and it was supposed to be small, but it turns out the bride's side has about 30 people coming, including parents friends, where the grooms side (my cousin) has less than half of that. There are some people that are really upset about this fact because it isn't small or intiment. Personally I don't care. I am not super close to these cousins and really don't want to take the whole day off work to attend. It all depends on the type of people you are friends/family with.

MrsChang that is not at ALL the same situation.

Unless the original poster is from the UK, then it does not matter what is "common in the UK". It is not common in North America to have 5 separate parts to a wedding, all with different guest lists.

The only way that I see it being okay to have a small ceremony and bigger reception, is if the ceremony is immediate family only (parents, grandparents and siblings). Once you start including friends and cousins and aunts and uncles, you might as well just invite everyone, cause people are going to be offended. Most people will understand if it was only immediate family, but if you include some friends and aunts and such and not others, there are bound to be a lot of hurt feelings! =(

I did it when i married my late husband. We had about 20 people for the wedding, and a cold lunch, cake, punch, coffee, and champagne. Then later that evening we had a "wedding dance" with just booze and a dj. We invited 150 people. 160 showed up! Lol If they thought it was rude, you would have thought they wouldnt have shown up. But they did! And it was an awesome party. This time around we are having what we feel is an intimate, immediate family wedding with 35 guests. And we are having all 37 for a dinner reception. But we have also invited several friends to come to the after party...they all asked if they could come to the after party..so we said.. HELL YA!!

I agree with you. Recently, I was invited to the reception, but not the ceremony. The ceremony was not exclusive to immediate family. Friends were there as well. My feelings were hurt.