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Beginner August 2020

Save-the-date & rsvp

Samantha, on July 3, 2019 at 8:29 AM Posted in Planning 0 8
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We have found and booked our ceremony and reception venue. We had made our guest list and have a little over 100 people. But we are going to tell everyone no children under the age of 16 (there are just too many). My fiance wants to send an RSVP card with the save-the-date since we have to pay per person for the venue. He doesn't want to pay for someone who won't come. Ideas on if we should do this? I know it isn't typical "wedding etiquette" but that doesn't bother me much. I'll take input. Smiley smile

8 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on July 3, 2019 at 12:11 PM
  • Aleks
    Dedicated October 2019
    Aleks ·
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    RSVP cards go with the invitation, sent out 2-3 months before the wedding. You set the deadline to be a few weeks before your venue needs final numbers so you don’t pay for anyone not planning to attend. STD’s are typically sent way before and there are way too many things that can change (job situations, travel, pregnancy) to ask guests to RSVP so far in advance.
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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    Do not send out an RSVP card with your STDs. Typically, STDs are sent out months before the wedding, and I can pretty much guarantee you that nobody is going to be able to RSVP for a wedding 8-10 months out. Include an RSVP card with your invitations - just ensure you send them out with enough time to follow-up with non-responders and to provide your venue with a final headcount.


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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    Echoing what the others have said. Save the dates arent meant for gathering RSVPs. You'll be able to have plenty of time to collect the final headcount if you send out your invites about 2 months in advance.
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  • S
    Beginner August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Thank you! That is what I was thinking and I said as much to my fiance. Things change and no one can know for sure so far in advance.

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  • S
    Beginner August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Thank you! I agree with what you said. Things can change!

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  • S
    Beginner August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I was thinking of sending invites out at least 3 months in advance since we have to make final payment one month before the wedding date. Thanks so much!

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    That’s what invitations are for. I don’t know about you, but most people can’t give you a definite yes or no more than 2 months out. If anything, this is going cause more people to RSVP yes and not show up.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would just say no to everyone under 21, 16 seems like a weird cut off age.

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