Save the date

All guests should be sent a save the date.

Yes, all guests should get them, with a formal invite to follow.

Save the dates are not a necessity and if you do choose to use them, they do not have to be sent to every guest. It’s perfectly fine to be selective with who receives one.

We sent them only to out of town guests (most of our guests) so they could book hotels & flights. We may also send to in town guests later, but I feel like this gives us some time to decide on local +1s.

We are not doing Save the Dates for everyone. Mainly our out of town family members.

My rules for etiquette aren't based on "what's proper" or what's in a book. I say, the answer is whatever works for your wedding!

The downside of STDs is that once you send them, you are locked in to invite the recipient (unless there are extreme circumstances for changing your mind). For that reason alone, if you send them at all, it can be a good strategy to only send them to guests you are absolutely certain will be invited. If that's just OOT family and/or other VIPS, that's fine. Daughter sent them to all family, both local and out-of-state/international, all the wedding party, and other very close friends. There were some more casual friends on the original guest list that they did not send them to. By the time they were ready to send the wedding invitations, they decided not to invite some of those casual friends (who they'd rarely seen in the 6 months prior to the wedding) and instead added some people they worked with who they'd grown closer to.

I thought about doing it for closer family members like aunts, uncles, mom, dad, grandmother, etc and like for the rest post it on social media for them to see it. The only thing I’m sending out to all guest is the invitation with rsvp because my family is big on both mom and dad side

If you want everyone to attend, send everyone a Save The Date. That way they put it on their calendar and don't make plans for your wedding.

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If you do it on social media, people won't know who is invited and who is not.

We sent them to all our guests. Even if they lived closer, we wanted to give them a heads up for hotel costs & time wise.

I sent save the dates to all the guests I intended on inviting

View Quoted Comment I have only family and friends on my accounts & they will be tagged. I get what you are saying though.