Save the date

We ended up going with a digital save the date for probably the same reason you think the save the dates are pointless. Didn't see value in the physical save the date, but sending it out digitally will allow us to get some early RSVPs and help us collect some info from (and communicate with) our guests. Getting a save the date out before an invitation is helpful for planning ahead and i see people take a few different approaches with it. Invitations tend to be more formal, but at the end of the day, don't feel like you have to stick to "rules" that don't work for you.

I agree, it really depends on a few things - for our wedding, it's only 1.5 hours away from where we (and the bulk of our guests) live, so not impossible for people to travel home that same night, but the majority are likely to stay overnight and require accommodation. With that in mind, we felt we needed a save the date so people had time to figure out what days they'd need to arrange accommodation, and be prepared to pay for same.

We also do have interstate guests, who we wanted to have the time to arrange funds, leave from work, etc.

If your wedding is in the home town of the majority of your guests, then you might not need one.

The save the date postcard trend only came into being roughly 5 or so years ago. For decades before that, either the couple or their parents would make phone calls which cost nothing to all invited guests around 6 months before the wedding to give a heads up. Since the invites are sent at 6-8 weeks standard before the wedding with replies due at 3-4 weeks, that is not enough time to schedule time off work, save money for everyone’s travel expenses and book them with guarantee that spaces will be available that late.


Just call or email everyone at 6 months before the wedding and then send invites at 6-8 weeks before the wedding and you will be fine.

Save the dates are definitely not pointless, but are totally optional.

I had a small wedding of 50 people total. I skipped save the dates and just did invitations. My FH and I did contact everyone ahead of time to at least let them know.

Normally I'd say they're unnecessary unless it's a destination wedding or high peak travel season in order to give people time to save and plan time off. Since your wedding is one of the busiest travel times of the year (the start of Thanksgiving week), I would definitely be sure to let people know 6-9 months in advance (either STD, text/email).

We skipped save the dates and just sent out invites. We sent our invites in advance but felt like we didn’t need to waste paper. We told most of our guests our date so felt like “if you can come then great if you can’t, you can’t” when it came to just sending invites. We still had a good turn out and only about 15 out of 125 guests declined.

We sent digital STDs to all of our guests via email, and then send a few physical ones (less than 10 total) only to family members and those in the wedding party.

The cost isn't worth it to mail physical cards to all your guests (IMO), but I do think there is value in formalizing the "you are going to be invited to our wedding" message early on, especially for folks who might need to travel, request time off work, or otherwise need to plan farther out than just a couple months. A beautifully designed Save the Date, even if sent via email or text, seems more "official" than just telling someone your wedding date.

Additionally, we found having collected everyones emails (and not just physical addresses) to be super helpful for time sensitive communications regarding our wedding. Our STDs went out in late 2019, before Covid, and then our invites went out in March 2020, just as Covid was becoming a concern. We canceled shortly before our May 2020 wedding. Being able to email everyone our cancelation was so much easier than having to call/text everyone or hoping people saw it on our website, and with the USPS delays at the time snail mail never would have worked to get the message out.

I could send my invitations only 5 months before my wedding, so I'd made before my "save the dates" for people who live abroad so that the can organise everything...

View Quoted Comment Be careful they don’t lose or forget the information that early. There’s also no way anyone can predict what they will be doing that far in advance.

Most of my guests will be traveling (domestically) but I skipped save the dates. I’ll just be sending invites 10-12 weeks out instead of 6-8. If it’s an international destination or a peak travel time then they can be useful though.

View Quoted Comment

Thanx :-) It was almost 3 years ago, so it went well ;-) Here in Europe in many countries we need to take vacaction 6 months in advance... Actually I was pretty "late" as people tend to send their invitations even a year ago and want RSVP like 6 months before ;-)